First off, we now know Lil Rounds has a tattoo of a fairy or butterfly or pterosaur on her leg (and is rocking another weave). Secondly, Matt Giraud is wearing a hat, which means NO QUATTO! BOO!!! HISS!!! MORE BOOS!!! The next thing I noticed? Anoop Desai totally reminds me of the landlord from Kingpin.

You remember Kingpin, right? Basically, Woody Harrelson’s is a down-and-out drunk named Roy who can’t pay his rent. (There is also a lot of bowling and Amish stuff.) To make up for it, he has sexy times with his nasty-ass landlord, even though he pukes thereafter. When she wants it, she makes a certain gesture…which kind of looks like what Anoop is doing in that photo. Even though I know he’s not, ya know…it’s just what it reminded me of, so…

Yeah, whatevia. I know I have the sense of humor of a 15-year-old boy. You gotta problem what that?

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And if any of you have recaps, send them over! I would love to get one from the Milwaukee show last night, however, I believe the tour heads to St. Louis tonight, the city where I was born and raised. So if you’re going in St. Louis, I demand you send me a recap!

Without further ado, here is Leigh’s take on the Long Island show. Leigh is actually from the Cayman Islands, and caught the show while visiting the NY area. What does Leigh being from the Cayman Islands mean for you? It means she’s your go-to girl for Tortuga Rum Cakes and Big Black Dick Rum. She may even be able to help you find a bank in which to store your dirty money.

Ok, Leigh. I’m just kidding. I love the Cayman Islands…although I think I like Jamaica a bit more, mainly because the physical geography of the island is much more varied…but that’s okay, too. Because Leigh was born in Jamaica, so I’m totally not insulting her. But I should get started with her recap now, shouldn’t I?

LeighKat (Twitter)  aka CaymanKrisFan (KrisAllenation)

I attended the concert with my mother and aunt (both in their early 50’s, very groovy and ‘hip ladies!), and I am 27. My aunt is a HUGE Adam fan. My mom and I lean more towards the Kick Awesomeness that is Kris Allen. From here on out, I will refer to our group as the island posse (We travelled from Jamaica and the Cayman Islands) and yes, we are self proclaimed fantards.

A funny note — we were among the very few “people of colour” in the crowd.

Of course you were, Leigh. Idol concerts may be even whiter than a Dave Matthews/DMB show.

We had floor seats, decent view but, a bit far from the stage. Not a wise choice considering none of us are over 5’5” tall. The venue was very crowded — almost sold out by my estimation. The standard screaming when each Idol popped up on the screens. Very loud for Kris and VERY loud for Adam. Already we were smiling and laughing, and joining the rest of the fantards in cheering when our faves appeared on the screen! I noticed there were some particularly uptight individuals in the row in front of us. They kept turning back and dishing out disapproving stares and head shakes. I laughed and said “You haven’t seen anything yet! Get used to it!” The groups next to us burst out laughing! I was backed up by enthusiastic “Yeahs” — fantards in full effect! I was feeling invincible! LOL!

My recap of the performances won’t be too detailed and are, by no stretch of the imagination, professional, just passing opinions and observations.

Michael Sarver kicked off the show and I actually enjoyed his set. We sang along and danced, as did many people in our section and throughout the audience. Michael was entertaining and went up a couple notches in my book. The rest of the “island posse” agreed and my aunt, the diehard Adam fan, was actually cheering on Sarver! Sarver, you managed to charm a Glambert!

Megan Joy: She looked lovely as has been mentioned in several recaps. Here first song was very nice — voice much improved. Didn’t love the second song too much and the wacky background animation was distracting. She moved around and danced a bit.

Lil Rounds was next and she did a great job of pumping up the crowd a bit. She seemed to be having fun with her set and looked pretty. Her voice sounded a bit strange — like she was fighting a cold — which is very possible considering the hectic schedule this crew is plowing through. For “Single Ladies”, she talked about the choreography and while Lil was dancing around, I was expecting something more — it was really just her doing some random moves from the Beyonce video. Regardless of what I thought — the rest of the “island posse” was getting down to the song and having a blast with others in our section. Never thought I’d see the day when my mother danced to a Beyonce song — something MUST have been in the air in that place!

You were expecting more, too? As was I. As I think I did every time she performed on the show. But  yes, when she announced they used the same choreographer for her on-stage routine to Single Ladies, I was expecting much more. Lil Rounds…was that even dancing?

Scott was next and he did a good job. Strong, clear voice, songs that many people around me were singing along to. He got a wonderful reception from the audience and tried to really engage the crowd with his cheesy, yet amusing jokes. “Good Job Scott” from the “island posse”.

Next up — Nooooooop Dogg! Yes, we were chanting that from our section! Sadly, this chant wasn’t really in line with the ridiculously cheesy sky background that Anoop had going on at the beginning of his set though. Really, what the hell was that? I had high hopes for Anoop but, was bored during most of his set. Had a good laugh at his random gyrating during My Prerogative — you can tell that Noop Dogg really thinks he’s hot! Overall, his set was decent. The rest of the island contingent felt the same.

And then came Matt Giraud… what can I say? His set was… HOT!! Loved, loved, loved it. His showmanship was up 100% and he was clearly having a good time. I was on my feet, dancing for his entire set. He engaged the audience and thanked everyone for supporting the tour. I have no idea why he gets so much flak for his version of You Found Me. I found his rendition powerful, full of passion and got swept away. By the end of his set, I was yelling “Sign Matt Giraud!” along with a few others. Although the chanting did not catch on in our section, the elderly gentleman behind us was on his feet clapping heartily! First signs of life I saw from him that night. At this point, I am grinning from ear to ear.

Although he killed Quatto, I found myself actually enjoying Giraud’s set, too. I think his years of playing in a dueling piano bar have served him well on the Idol tour.

Now time to close out the first half — group numbers and dueling pianos. The duet with Megan Joy and Lil was totally bizarre — I don’t get the logic with that song choice Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You or whatever it’s called; just bad, really bad. Why do these two need to be singing “I need you baby” and so badly at that? Dueling pianos were great — the best was definitely “Beggin” again, I was on my feet and dancing away.

That song always makes me think of the great film, 10 Things I Hate About You.

Wow…I thought this recap would be a lot shorter…oh well, if you’ve read this far then, I guess you’re committed and won’t mind if I ramble on some more some funny stuff to follow.

During the break, they rolled the videos and Ford commercials for the ten thousandth time and we talked to people in our section. Mostly Kris, Adam and Danny fans in our vicinity. I asked some ladies next to me if they had any idea where the buses would be and they couldn’t understand what I was saying. I laughed, “Is my accent really that hard to decipher?” — more blank stares. When they finally understood what I was asking, I discovered they had no clue where the buses would be. Surprise, surprise. The “island posse” would just have to go into full stalker mode after the concert to find the location. My neighbors were very sweet though and we had a couple of laughs that night.

Suddenly, the coliseum goes dark and AlliKat hits the stage! Yeah Allison!!! Her set was loud and high energy. I enjoyed everything expect for that Pink song — was never a big fan of So What. She looked really pretty and looked at home on the stage. She had everyone screaming when she talked about the “boys” who were up next. My mom didn’t really like the loud noise but…that’s ROCK! Nice and LOUD.

Next up was Danny — and suddenly the grumpies in the rows ahead of me, who gave the evil eye earlier, were on their feet and “jammin” out to Mr. Gokey’s set. That explained everything. I jammed out to PYT — it’s an MJ tune, gotta be on your feet for that. After that, I just sat and giggled to myself throughout most of the Gokester’s performance. I found the performance to be okay. His voice was strong and clear and he tried to excite everyone with his cheesy salsa dancing. He also had the “inspirational” and encouraging speech that we have all heard about. I admit I zoned out a bit… sorry Gokey.  The rest of the “island posse”, and others around me seemed to appreciate what he had to say. Me? Meh! It was nice. Whatever — bring out Glambert!

And bring him out they did! The noise level goes from loud to, I am now officially deaf and the entire coliseum is about to collapse around me. The screams could break glass — amazing! Adam Lambert is a fantastic performer, no doubt about it. Sure, there are moments when the whole thing comes off as completely contrived and over the top but, the man knows how to put on a show. I could have done without all the overtly sexual gestures and gyrations though. Way too much of what we in the Caribbean call whining — moving the waist and hips provocatively — waay too much of it. Thankfully, no bras were thrown on this night but, something big and white — boxers, a t-shirt, a towel or granny panties? Whatever was being catapulted onto the stage. Poor Adam. Anyway, I loved every number! Especially Starlight — I am a big Muse fan and Fame. Great Job Adam! The lights go down and the noise level returns to ear busting levels — my screams and yells were added to the mix because MY HOMIE KRIS IS NEXT!

Watch out, Leigh. The Glamberts are gonna call you a PRUDE.

Kris Allen — the reason I wore purple plaid and flew to NYC. Well, he was everything and more. Kris did Kris and I could not have been happier. I was smiling till my face hurt. Heartless was perfection, All These Things I’ve Done had me giddy and singing along, Ain’t No Sunshine was soulful and heartfelt, Bright Lights lit up my night and his guitar solo blew me away. He was having a blast! Kris rocking out, a great moment for a Kris fan to behold. As a Kris Allen fan, seeing him up there — happy and enjoying the moment — made me feel like I was watching a good friend live his dream. That’s the effect Kris has on his fans. I think it’s fair to say that, at the very least, my fellow KANationers understand where I am coming from with this. Hey Jude, the cherry on top, came way too soon. I wasn’t ready to end the night. Kris Allen is a star!

The concert was capped off by a great group number and the crowd was cheering till the very end.

The “island posse” was now all smiles and focused on locating the buses. By the time we got there, hundreds of people were already in position. Luckily, we were able to find a decent spot.

Observations while waiting — mixed crowd of young and old, male and female. One annoying woman who kept talking at the top of her lungs about Clay Aiken and Kristy Lee Cook. She talked very loudly and no one seemed to be paying attention to her. She also called Megan Joy a “silly blonde” several times and flashed her ponytail in my face over and over again — despite my mumblings. On top of this, she COMPLAINED that Kris did NOT sing No Boundaries and said — if you can believe it, “It better be on his album”. WTF!? Needless to say, I came close to losing it on her when she finally, took a few steps away to place her many bags of Idol merchandise on the ground. Whew, almost ruined my night!

I wish you had photos of that nutbag. She sounds charming.

Others around were friendly and talkative. Mostly moms, teens, a dad or two, and some really young kids who should have been at home sleeping. Then came the horses. Police Officers, who are apparently in training to become part of the Royal Canadian Mounties, came inside the barrier on horseback. Why? I have no clue, especially considering there were tons of security and a police vehicle already there. Once inside the barriers, these beautiful animals, with an unfortunate odor problem, needed to let loose. Yes, piles and piles of it. I was worried at this point that the idols would not be coming out because it was really totally disgusting.

I get the mounted police in my neighborhood during important Red Sox games. I imagine all the mounted police are in Mission Hill right now, given the fact there are 4 ex-presidents, 1 current president, and a bunch of other politicians/notables/et al departing a basilica about 1.5 miles away from me right now. Good thing the Yankees weren’t playing this weekend. CHAOS WOULD HAVE ENSUED WITHOUT THE MOUNTED POLICE.

We waited for about an hour and half and then the idols came out. Megan Joy, Michael Sarver, Anoop, Scott and his brother, Allison, Danny, Matt, Lil and Kris. Adam did not come out. The Idols that worked their way over to our section were:

Megan Joy — dressed in a denim jumper (don’t ask). Stunning in person, gracious and accommodating to the fans. We told her that we were from Jamaica and loved that she chose a Bob Marley song while on the show. She seemed very pleased with that and smiled, saying “Thank you!”

Michael Sarver — wearing a “funky” hat. Signed away but didn’t really look up for pictures or engage much with the fans in our section.

Those hats are hiding the Quatto Renissance. BOOOO!!!

Anoop Desai — Wearing a UNC Hoodie and knee-length shorts. Signed as many autographs as he could and smiled for pics. Seemed a bit rushed, as many of the idols did.

Allison Iraheta — Such a pretty girl. She took her time and signed and talked to tons of fans. She got many gifts from fans and had a relative with her. When she came to our section, I shyly asked “Can I get a pict….” Trailing off because I felt uncertain and bad about nagging La Princesa from the second row BUT, Ms. AlliKat was not having that! She looked directly at me and beckoned saying, “You want a photo? Come on over here!” The girls in front made room for me and I got my pic with Ms. Iraheta. She is really wonderful! Slezak would have been proud.

La Princesa del Mariachi RULES.

Scott MacIntyre came by with his brother and we were all cheering. Suddenly my mom yells “Yeah Scott’s Brother! I don’t remember your name but, Yeah Scott’s brother!” — he loved it and was grinning happily when he heard that!

Love it. Behold Todd MacIntyre, the nation’s first celebrity blind guide since Annie Sullivan.

Matt Giraud was next and some crazy MEGA fantards damn near took my head off as they shoved past to stuff a beer can in his face — screaming at him to sign it. He basically ignored them and continued down the line to sign and greet the rest of the fans. Honestly, he seemed a bit peeved about that and I was nodding my head with righteous thoughts “That’s right Matt, show those MEGA fantards whose boss!”

Giraudtards tailgating before the show and M&G? How gauche!

Danny Gokey passed by and signed for people — not very engaging either.

And then there was Kris Allen. Fans were going NUTS and it was hard to keep my spot. He had a “handler” with him, who many mistook for Katy Allen. Lovely Katy this lady was definitely not. Seeing the other Idols and the long wait must have built up my confidence because, suddenly I yelled “Hi Kris, we came all the way from Jamaica and the Cayman Islands to see you, can we please have a picture with you? You took your honeymoon in Jamaica, can we please get a picture?!”. Yes, I said this out loud — a definitive lapse into the realm of the fantard. My euphoria was shattered by “handler”, who replied, “You can get pictures OF Kris but NOT WITH”. Although I know the woman was doing her job, I did get a bit annoyed. She came off as abrasive. A few people around me let out the expected “Awww” of disappointment. Just like that, she killed our dreams. Oh well! I was snapping away and Kris did take a second to say “hi” and sign my concert ticket — YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! He apologized to everyone for the rush and did his best to get to everyone in my section. Admittedly, Kris did look a bit tired and maybe even a bit overwhelmed. The man was signing hundreds of autographs and doing his best to talk to the fans. Kris was lovely and VERY cute in person. I was one of the lucky ones. He was only able to go half way around the crowd when they whisked him away.

At this point it got a bit messy. Kris came VERY close to stepping in one of the huge piles of the steaming horse manure I previously mentioned. There were gasps heard throughout. People yelling “look out” and “don’t step in the horse s#%^!” — very funny! Genuine concern for the fate of his feet. I believe Kris tweeted about this later, cause that guy has a sense of humour. After that we learned that Adam would not be coming out. My Aunt was pretty peeved about that, as were the many who started chanting “Adam, Adam…”

Highlights:

I got Kris Allen’s autograph, listened to Adam, AlliKat and Kris sing live, hung out with my very cool fam, met some nice people — cloud nine is waayyy up there!

And here are some of LeighKat’s photos from the show!

Her ticket — autographed by HBD:

Blind Guy and Blind Guy’s Brother:

The beautiful and awesome Megan Joy:

The beautiful and awesome LA PRINCESA DEL MARIACHI!!!

Kris Allen and his evil handler:

Kris Allen signing more autographs:

Matt Giraud signing autographs…and HIDING THE QUATTO RENAISSANCE!!! Leigh also believes he stole Kris Allen’s shirt

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THANK YOU CARLISLE. Everyone clap for Carlisle. Because she is AWESOME.

Since you begged so eloquently/pathetically for recaps, and since 14-year-old Emma (in your words) “kind of dissed” HBD, I thought I’d respond to your plea and (A) let you vicariously live out the AI8 concert experience, and (B) give HBD some love. I’m not sure if late-20s love can live up to teenage love (I, for instance, have no artfully drawn poster to share with you), but I must admit to being a total fantard for HBD – love that boy.

I look young for 32 so therefore, I will consider myself in my late 20s, too, plus, I have no problem to admitting my enthusiasm for Hot By Default. AND since I saw my first Idol show the night before, instead of living vicariously through you, Carlisle, we can RELIVE IT TOGETHER. Others who have not gone can do the vicarious thing, everyone else can relive…yeah, that works.

Also must admit that I’ve seen this tour more than once. More than twice, even. (Not more than three times, though.) This can be attributed to my desire to experience AI live with various friends in various parts of the country, or alternately, to the aforementioned fantard-ness. Take your pick. This recap is coming to you from the tour stop in the bustling metropolis of Albany, NY. Let me tell you, it’s an exciting city. There are civic buildings, strange weather patterns, and friendly bartenders. Good times. There are also faulty air-conditioning systems in large arenas – less good times. HBD is known as HBD for a reason (I would even go so far as to leave off the “BD” and just go with “H”) – but it was NOT just him. It was damn hot in that place.

Smallbany! I’m talking about Albany, not HBD, or H, as you would like to refer to him. But hey, he is a good-looking guy, much more so than the majority of the male Idol contestants I’ve seen on that shit show…of course, Quatto will always have my heart. RIP Quatto.

So, the show. Michael Sarver has a nice voice, a lot of enthusiasm, and no stage presence. But he does a good job, and is pleasant to listen to. Megan’s a hoot. She’s gotten better vocally each time I’ve seen this thing (the Amy Winehouse song was horrible at the first tour stop I saw, and now it’s a lot of fun), and she’s really managing to get her quirky personality across, as well. Fun sarcastic banter – I like bitter people. Scott does a TERRIBLE imitation of Simon, and he’s kind of a nonentity to me. But he sings with far more strength than his performances during the season would lead you to expect, and he’s definitely a skilled pianist. Lil’s karaoke. No personality comes through in her performances. But she too sings well. And she was working some great T-Boz hair. (I kind of want to go on AI just so I can have fun with hair extensions at someone else’s expense.) I feel all warm and fuzzy when I watch Anoop on tour – it’s so fun to watch an overeducated dork live out his rock star dreams! (I say this with fondness, as I too am an overeducated dork, and I love my people.) He’s got nice pure vocals on the ballads, and “My Perogative” is remarkably silly and enjoyable. Not sure how he’d translate to the real world music scene, but he’s definitely good in this context. Matt’s a real entertainer, and while I mourn the loss of Quatto, when he departed for good (i.e. was MURDERED – Matt’s a murderer!), he appears to have taken most of Matt’s tendency to abuse falsetto and riffs with him. And good riddance to that. I’m a big fan of the end-of-Act-I medley. It’s kind of Broadway, but it showcases all the contestants well, and Anoop gets to put the synchronized hand motions that I’m sure he perfected in his a cappella group to use for an audience beyond the arch sing.

Wow. I agree with almost ALL of your statements…but I think the falsetto came from him trying to deflect some mating call from Kara “Shit For Brains” DioGuardi. Quatto only does good. And I kept hearing how bad Megan’s Tears Dry On Their Own was, but it definitely was not bad. I like her voice. I think, if she keeps working at it, she could have a career. Plus, she’s absolutely gorgeous.

Act II: La Princesa’s a rock star. A real, true, fan-in-the-hair, black leather rock star. That’s all there is to say. Fingers crossed that her label doesn’t make her into a Disney “rock star,” and lets her be hard core, manic energy, spazzy and awesome. Gokey’s a good singer, but gives you no sense of who he is as an artist. And it’s hard to salsa dance by yourself without looking like an idiot – the solos on SYTYCD have shown us the truth of this statement, and those people are actually GOOD salsa dancers. His little sermon about not letting yourself be defined by tragedy is less offensive than one might expect, but he gives me no reason to seek out his music in the future. Adam’s a riot. His voice is spectacular and flexible. (Also flexible: his torso/hips. That boy can body roll and pelvic thrust like a true champion, and it is hilarious (albeit deafening) to hear the audience devolve into shrieking fits during his “racier” moments.) “Whole Lotta Love” is rock-god (TM Kara) awesome; “Starlight” is being performed in a totally different key from the beginning of the tour (because Adam’s spectacular and flexible voice is getting shot to hell…), but sounds equally great both ways; “Mad World” is beautifully eerie, and it’s amusing to watch every single LCD screen in the audience light up to tape it (although really people? Isn’t it more fun to watch with your eyes than through your camera?); “Slow Ride” features the return of La Rock Star del Mariachi, and how can you go wrong with that; and the Bowie medley is kind of like the Crazy Adam Lambert Variety Show, but in a good way.

Love love love La Princesa del Mariachi. She is a SUPERSTAR. So did Gokey go into the whole PREACHER VOICE thing, though? Because I was not expecting that sort of thing, not the full-on-I’m-at-the-pulpit sort of thing, I was just expecting inspirational speech. I thought Pastor Rolex was going to come around the corner with a tithing envelope with a place for the credit card number. Hell, Pastor Rolex even takes DISCOVER.

Love for HBD: Seriously, he is so good, and so satisfying to watch/listen to. He’s totally connected to the music, and it really draws the audience in. “Heartless” is much rock-ier than the solo acoustic version from Top 3 night, but it maintains that phrasing and emotional investment and delicate touch. HBD knows when to hold back and when to attack, and it gives his music interesting and attractive dynamics. Watching HBD rock out on electric guitar (“All These Things That I’ve Done”), piano (“Ain’t No Sunshine”) or both (“Bright Lights”) is deeply pleasurable – he loves what he’s doing so much. And “Hey Jude” is just great – I hope he does a different Beatles song in concert each time he tours. Cannot wait for a solo tour. Assuming, that is, that his album doesn’t suck – but I do think he’s got as good a chance as any, and better than most, of making an enjoyable album, even while under the thumb of 19/AI. Fingers crossed!

Final thoughts: “Don’t Stop Believin” is apparently the theme song of the year, and it’s a perfect ending to the tour – fun, karaoke, shows off their voices, everything you want from AI (although there could be more cheesy choreography – I love cheesy choreography). When leaving the stadium, my friend and I inadvertently discovered the “bus stalking” area, and after fortifying ourselves with liquor, wandered back to check out the insanity. Sadly, it wasn’t that insane after all. There were lots of small children chanting “We want Adam!” (note to parents: why are you letting your small children stand around chanting “we want Adam” at 11:30pm? Isn’t that past bedtime? On a weeknight, too!), and HBD was signing autographs. Clearly, it was the thrill of the evening to crane my neck to catch a glimpse of him over the crowd. (One has to crane to see HBD – he’s rather wee.) I desperately wanted to trample the tweens, push my way to the front, and get him to sign my (plaid) bra, but somehow, I restrained myself. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Wise words from a wise woman.

You have to draw the line somewhere.

Carlisle, you rock. And if you’re going to Bridgeport, let me know. I may be attending that show with some NY friends who are also in the blogging racket. (Is blogging a racket? Perhaps. No clue. It’s after 3am and I’m watching The Handmaid’s Tale. Poor Natasha Richardson. That’s still sad. Never saw this movie, just read the book. Used to it could maybe happen when Bush was President. Oh, hell, it was 2004. Things looked bleak.)

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In addition to my Idol recap, I will also be posting a recap of the NYC show from LeighKat, an Idol fan from JAMAICA and the CAYMAN ISLANDS. She’s tropical! Lucky. Let’s hope Hurricane Bill doesn’t make a visit to her parts.

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Emma went to the recent show and I MUST give her credit. Not only is her recap pretty damn funny, she also sent me photos of herself with a fake Lambert-esque tattoo…

AND the tard signage they brought to the show!

Ok. It’s now time to read Emma’s recap. Some of the finest moments are in BOLD.

I went to the American Idol Tour!! It was freaking amazing!!!! Everyone was oodles and oodles better than on TV. Let us start with my group. I went with my mom, my friend, her sister, and her mom. We sat in the nosebleed section, but with my dad’s expensive binoculars, I could see even a pimple on an Idol’s face. Then in back of us, was the most crazed Adam Lambert fan I have ever encountered. She regards him as her own son. Need I say more?

Ed. note: Sadly, even with Emma’s father’s binoculars, there was no QUATTO to be seen anywhere!

Ok so I am a really big Adam fan so before the show, my friend and I made a gorgeous Adam Lambert poster to bring to the show. As far as posters go, I’d say it kicked some ass. All us kids got T-shirts that cost $35 each.  Mine says Adam Lambert on it and it is pretty awesome. Oh by the way, I’m fourteen, I forgot to mention that before. Now, everyone sang 2 or 3 songs, and then the finalists sang more.  There were also some duets which I will talk about later.  Ok so not to bore you any longer, let’s start with the first singer Michael Sarver.

Ed. note: Emma is 14. Tard signs and fake tattoos (And hello? She draws A LOT better than I ever could at any age.) are perfectly acceptable for a 14-year-old girl.

Michael Sarver
I thought this guy could really sing!! He started off the show as the 10th contestant and really pumped us up. He sang about 2 songs, or maybe three, and was much much better than he was on TV. He could even kinda dance! He is much skinnier in person. He seems like a pretty nice dude.  Not sleazy like a ceratain Idol *cough* Gokey *cough*, and he actually had a good voice unlike a certain Idol, *cough* Gokey*cough*. I think he should have made it farther into the competition. I can’t remeber what exactly it was that he sang, but it was good.

Megan Joy
I always hated Megan and her cawing. This time I didn’t really hate her that much. The lady in back of me called her a whore. And I mean the way she was dressed, yeah she kind of was a whore.  She had a really short pink dress on with gold gladiator shoes. She danced and sung around the stage with a nasally voice, but i was just so excieted to be there in the same room as these famous people that I didn’t really care.  I can’t remember what she sang either, but it was ok.

Ed. note: Was this the same woman who also regards Lambert as her son? Not very nice for her to be calling Megan Joy a whore. And I must say, Megan Joy can pull off short dresses and she’s what? 23? So…live it up, cawing goddess, live it up!

Scott McIntyre
This guy was amazing!!!!!!!!!!! I never really liked Scott that much either, but i thought he was fantastico!  He even made Blind Jokes!! He sat at his piano the whole time but I mean, it was really good. Once again, i still can’t remember what these guys sang, but I do remember that after his first song, he got up and started making jokes about how he was blind and when people go to fist pump him he doesn’t know what the heck is going on. He was so inspirational and sang his little heart out.  Claps for Scott!

Lil Rounds
Lil Rounds. Hmm. I always thought she had talent, but not this time. She sang Single Ladies, and let me tell you, Joe Jonas did a better job. And he didn’t even sing. Lil was wayyy off and screamed too much. She made her songs painful instead of enjoyable. Her dancing was quite iffy, and let’s just say that many things were “jiggling.” The rear view from the binoculars was ridiculous.  Not to make fun of her for her butt or anything, but Holy Tushie!  That was one thing that I wish I would have gone without seeing. Her outfit was hideous, although very sparkley.  It looked like some 7 year old designed it.  Then all of a sudden she rips off her jacket and reveals a tight black tank top.  Let’s stop here.  I don’t want to relive this moment.

Anoop Desai
Anoop was cool. He had purple shoes, so i had to like him. He did his thing, he sang My Perogative or however you spell that, and he did a good job.  It was a little boring at times, but i think that’s only because I was so anxious to see Adam. Anoop’s dancing has improved so much since Idol. During his little halfway point he talked about who know’s what and then went back to singing. I decided that I kind of liked Anoop, but was dissapointed that he didn’t sing Jai Ho or something. I just love that song.

Matt Giraud
Woot woot! I adore Matt. Unfortunately, Quatto is officially gone. I looked. There is no more Quatto The Mole. Let’s take a moment of silence. Ok, now Matt sang You Found Me by The Fray and played piano and guitar during his performances. He wore his hat thing and danced around. I thought he, too, did an excellent job. Everyone’s voices have improved so much!  I just could NOT get over that these people were just right there in front of my eyes! There was Matt, Quatto-less and dancing around!

Right about here there was a little group number with everyone previously listed.  Megan did well, as did Matt and Anoop. Matt and Scott did a little piano number on a double keyboard thing. It was good-ish.

Then came a 20 minute intermission.

Allison Iraheta
Allison was the bomb. She had purple streaks at the bottom of her hair and awesome black boots and she just rocked it. She sang “Cry Baby” and “So What” and much more. Her dancing was great and her singing was better than ever. At this point I knew that Adam was so completely close I couldn’t stand it. Anyway back to Allison. During her little speech she just asked us if we were excited for the three guys coming up and of course there were a trillion screams for Adam.  Then she sang once more.

Oh I forget to mention the smoke.  There was so much smoke and fog in that place (Nassau Colleseum) that i could not get any decent pictures.

Danny Gokey
Snarl. I dislike Danny Gokey. He came out in a suit with a red shirt underneath and sang his stupid songs, which included “What Hurts the Most,” and others that I don’t remember. Then he talked about his dead wife and stated “Now I don’t want to make this about me,” and i was like “bullshit! are you kidding me?!?” Then he went on about the fricken president of america saying inspirational things like don’t let bad things get in your way and bring you down blah blah blah. I couldn’t take it. Then he took off his jacket and started to cha-cha and pole dance with the mic stand. Ewies! Did I mention that I could SEE his chest hair? *gag*

Ed. note: Once again, Emma illustrates how ultra-powerful binoculars are not always a good thing.

ADAM LAMBERT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adam came out in a cloud of smoke and just was a complete god. He wore this incredible jacket and reminded us all of how good he was. He was just amazing. I was so excited to see him live and in person! He sang “Mad World” some Muse song, “Whole Lotta Love” and much more. His dancing was incredible. At one point, someone threw some underwear up there on the stage, and he picked it up and twirled it around and danced with it. I don’t think I have ever seen anyhting so hilarious. It was great. THEN! He whipped off his jacket and revealed himself in a black tank top and danced in a way that was not rated PG. It was spectacular. Adam made everyone else look so crappy. I don’t know how he didn’t win. I just don’t get it.

Kris Freakin Allen
Grrrrr. I like Kris. I really do. But how did he beat Adam? How I ask you!? He played his guitar and piano and sang “Ain’t no sunshine when shes gone” and “Heartless” and whatever else. He was good, but not good like Adam. Or Allison. Or even Matt for that matter! He wore a plaid button-down shirt and jeans and sneakers. He hit a high note at the end of one of his songs that was probably toward the lower end of Adam’s spectrum.  That’s all I have to say about Mr. Allen.

Ed note: It’s okay, Emma, I still like you even though you kind of dissed Hot By Default. But just think to yourself, would Adam Lambert be okay with you dissing HBD? Hee hee hee.

Then there were more group numbers. They sang “Don’t Stop Believin” and something else. There were some Kradam moments I observed through my binoculars. I was so sad at this point because the concert was almost over and I would never see any of them in person ever again. It was so sad.

In conclusion, Adam Lambert is the best thing that ever happened to American Idol and really rocked that tour. Woottttttt wooooottt!!!

Thanks again for your recap, Emma, and don’t be sad. I’m sure you will see all of them again one day.

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Ignore Danny Gokey and this nonsense about how much he loves being pampered. Some other people talk, but I totally tuned out Lil Rounds, although I really want to hear what her weave has to say.

Things get good when Kris Allen is asked about the craziest fan behavior he’s experienced. Seems some batshit crazy woman approached him for a photo and then stuck her tongue down his throat.

All during a dinner with his wife, his parents, and Adam Lambert & family. (More detail is given in the RAW VIDEO of the interviews, which will start up right after the package ends.)

HBD says he ran like crazy. Which is good, HBD needs to keep running, running as far and as fast away from these lunatics as he possibly can.

Oh. And some Glambert yaps about being a COUGAR. Right now, cougars are offing themselves in the world’s jungles because they don’t like sharing a name with these whack jobs. If you’re older than 40, think about next year’s endangered species list the next time you’re stenciling a poster board sign, spraying blue shit in your hair and bedazzling a black t-shirt or any other activities of the ilk.

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KILLER!!! AND she basically confirmed the rumored Casper-Giraud (RIP QUATTO) hookup, as well as the fact Casper is a bitter wench. She also got to see the awesome Charles Browder, aka HBD’s BFF and kind of knows those shirtless cheerleader dudes.

I live in MS, and I am 28 yrs old.  During the show I liked Kradison, and I really really really don’t like Danny.   The people I went to the show with liked Kradison, except for my friends mom, who likes Danny (her prev Idol favs include Clay and Archie).

When we got to the Fed Ex forum, one of the first people we ran into is Alexis Grace.  She was headed up the elevator to the suites and stopped to take pics with a gaggle of girls.  She was even tinier than I expected.  She also lost the pink crap out of her hair(hallelujah).  My friend who lives in Memphis says that Alexis has been on a morning show since she got kicked off Idol.  The radio station was running a contest to sit in a suite with her during the show.  We were surprised to see her coming down to the floor and take seats in the row in front of us during Sarver’s set(at least something noteworthy happened during Sarver’s set).  She stayed there for the rest of the show, which was weird because we thought she was going to be in a suite with the contest winners.  I would say they were lucky, because she had a total bitch-face going on everytime I saw her.  Sure, she posed for a few pics during intermission, but I don’t recall her smiling or seeming excited-she should be so lucky that people want to take a pic with her.  Maybe she misses Quatto.  Alexis did get a shout out during the first half group number, I believe with Matt saying something like “We love you Alexis Grace.” All I have to say is, Alexis=bitter and it showed.

[Attached are the pics I got of Alexis on the floor.  You can see Sarver on stage in one of the photos]

The next odd thing we saw was during intermission.  My cousin noticed that people were stopping this random guy to take pics on the stairs leading down to the floor.  We realize when he gets down to the floor that is Kris’ brother.  He is also sitting on the row in front of us.   I wonder, do other Idol siblings get this?  I could understand Scott’s seeing-eye-brother since he kinda has to be there…Why would you want a pic with an Idol relative?  To his credit, he seemed pretty cool about it(cooler than Alexis Grace).  Then Kris’ bro and his entourage moved directly in front of us, just hanging out.  He has some very hot guys with him, so we oogled for the rest of intermission.  Turns out, the group of guys is from the pic you posted of Adam + shirtless cheerleaders.  And if anyone is interested, I used to work with Katy Allen’s cousin by marriage, so if anyone wants a pic with him, I can totally hook ya’ll up.

Speaking of Katy, she came out to the floor during Kris’ set.  It wasnt hard to miss her long blonde hair.  She is also tinier than I thought she would be, which then made me realize how truly tiny Kris is!  She came and hung out next to this big ol’dude who was losing it for Kris anbout 3 rows in front of us.  He was essentially trying to do a headbanging of sorts in the isle.  We spent a lot of time laughing at him.

Sitting directly in front of us were a group of 15 yr olds we I thought might faint when Adam came on stage.   They screamed for him everythime his picture came up prior to the show…they even screamed if they saw his hair, eyes, or mouth when they replayed that Ford commercial where they mis-matched everyone’s face.  Adam by far got the best reception.  I am also proud to say that people didn’t seem to like Danny as much as I thought they would.  I did not see anyone doing hand hearts (thank God because I might have gotten violent).  Also, no one threw Adam any bras on stage.  Memphis was pretty chill, but I expected that.

During intermission, I did manage to see a few freaks in home made Adam shirts.  There was one older lady, I couldnt get all of her shirt, but it said GLAM IS THE NEW BLACK.  She is the one in the photo with the black girl in her own Adam shirt.  Then there were the girls a few rows in front of us with Adam shirts that were better than the creepy one AI sells for $35 bucks.  When we were leaving, I spotted the lone Matt fan, this huge girl in a fedora.  I was so sad that I didn’t get a pic of her…but the gods were smiling down on me, and she and her friend happened to be sitting in front of us and I got a pic of sad fedora girl from behind.

If you have any questions about anything, let me know.  I am attaching pics, and linking to all of the photos I took.  I actually had a lot from the begining of the show, but they all turned out bad, so I deleted them.  I think some of the Adam ones are pretty hilarious though!  And I am attaching the douchebag Danny “worship me” pose haha!

Here are some of my absolute FAVORITE shots from Stark Vegas. She’s a good photographer, isn’t she?

Blind Guy is wearing a fedora. They say its for the dueling piano act between him and Matt Giraud, however, I know a black fedora is akin to wearing a black armband. RIP QUATTO THE MOLE!!! (And I didn’t post any of Giraud because he killed Quatto!!!)

Anoop is wearing hipster glasses for one of his songs?

I can kind of feel the love between Anoop and Tattooed Mormon Joy, can’t you? She is so beautiful. This scene almost melted my icy little heart.

Adam Lambert! Adam Lambert! She had a good many of these but I think these two were definite standouts…although I’m sure I could find others. Of course, I would probably then be forced to endure Glambert wrath for the rest of the week and frankly…

And here is some Gokey…on his pulpit…

OMG I CAN SOOOOOO FEEL THE GODLY LOVE RIGHT NOW!!!!

LA PRINCESA DEL MARIACHI!!!

Oh, yes…I almost forgot about that nitwit Alexis Grace. Yawn.

And let’s throw in one of Kris Allen to finish things up, shall we? After all, the kid won the damn thing.

Everyone give StarkVegas a big round of applause! Her and D.B. Cooper have my eternal accolades and gratitude, as they should YOURS. You, too, can have such wonderful praise if you send me a big fat recap.

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Without further ado, here is D.B. Cooper’s recap. It’s pretty funny, and he even brought over a few photos, tales of faux hawks and ZOMG RUDE ADAM LAMBERT FANS!!!!

So we enter The Arena at Gwinnett Center and what immediately strikes me is that I am in a sea of white people. Old white people, young white people, middle aged white people, and real young white people. White persons. A lot of squares, daddy-o. People that own SUVs because they need the room to fit all their kids.

We take our (not very good) seats at the back of the floor just in time for the start of tenth place finisher Michael Sarver’s set. Sarver does two songs I don’t know. He is an absolute black hole of charisma. I don’t think he was ever supposed to make the top 10 (he took the spot slated for Casper) and it just goes to once again prove America’s love of bland crap. I definitely could have showed late instead of seeing this.

Megan Joy (Corkrey-Sobecki-Engle-Vladowski) is dressed as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. She starts out pretty well, that Corrine Bailey Rae song actually fits her voice as close to perfectly as possible. Afterwards she sings another song and it blows, her voice is screechy and sharp.

Scott McIntyre is blind. Hand to God, it’s the truth. He breaks the streak, however, of blind singers who kick ass. He is inferior to Ray, Stevie, Jeff Healey, all those great blind blues singers whose first name is Blind, and Blind Melon Chitlin of Cheech & Chong fame.

Leel Rounds is the first singer in this bunch who actually has a distinctive, halfway interesting voice. She’s completely karaoke and unoriginal, yet she’s good in that little niche she has. She sings Mary J. well, she sings Alicia Keys well, she sings that horribly annoying Beyonce song as well as can be expected. She looks hot. She’s all right. And that’s a good thing.

Anoop Desai is a human sedative.

Matt Giraud, sporting a faux-hawk (in a feeble attempt to make up for Quato’s absence?), comes out and does Otis Redding’s Hard To Handle, and I don’t know what possessed him to sing this song in public. He cannot pull it off, he doesn’t touch Otis’ or even the Grateful Dead or Black Crowes’ version. The cool thing is that, surely channeling the dear, departed Quatto, he makes up for it with the rest of his set. His Georgia On My Mind is, thankfully, not reminiscent of Ray Charles’ version. All his little falsetto runs actually work on the big stage where they didn’t on Idol. You Found Me is a great showcase for the type of song Giraud could pull off in a post-Idol career. Very impressive.

Fodder medley: Michael Sarver should not sing Elvis songs.

After a twenty minute break (for the Idol faithful to beer up), OH MY GOD IT’S ALLISON. She, without doubt, tears up the stage the way NO other contestant on this shit show has ever done. No bullshit. That voice is gorgeous, powerful, dark, and distinctive. We start with Pink’s So What and Allison makes this song her bitch and rapes it, Oz style. Then Cry Baby and you already know what it is. For the coup de grâce she annihilates every single living thing in the building with a blistering Barracuda. Anne Wilson is a goddess, so is Allison. Barracuda is now a Heart/Iraheta song. The world will soon know that Allison Iraheta is a superstar. </tard>

I freely acknowledge that Gokey is a douche, and maybe (definitely) the double whammy of 24 ounces of crappy light beer to the head and Allison Iraheta just threw me for a serious loop, but I love Danny Gokey’s set. PYT is so much fun and Danny sounds great on it. The same goes for Maria, Maria. And What Hurts the Most, wow, so much emotion, if I brought a lighter I would wave it in the air (a cell phone is not the same). The last song, also by Rascal Flatts, is anticlimactic, plus I call bullshit that Gokey gets four songs and Allison only gets three and a half.

Have I told you guys about all the Lambertfrau in the building? They are representing and they are total douchers. The whole row in front of me is filled with them (plus one miserable husband) and I’m not even gonna give a physical description because a) it isn’t about that and b) they do not break the stereotype. Every time Adam’s face appears on screen they shriek, every time Kris’s appears they boo. These boos have character and meaning and are imbued with self-righteous indignation and pure hatred. These are “the South will rise again” boos. When Adam takes the stage the screaming in the whole building is deafening, so much so that it actually drowns out his powerhouse vocals on Whole Lotta Love. Apparently actually hearing the singer you love is secondary to freaking the fuck out and screaming like a teeny bopper at a Beatles concert. Starlight (which I think is also the title of a vampire movie) by Muse is a’ight, nothing spectacular. Either fatigue has set in for the Lambertfrau or they realize that this song is just so-so (I’m betting on fatigue) because they aren’t screaming as loudly. For me (for you) Mad World loses a little of its power every time he sings it, the joy and surprise are gone. Then, all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, nah it’s super-rocker. Iraheta is back bitches and killin it for old times sake with her homeboy Adam! He ends with an anticlimactic Bowie medley. I love Life On Mars. Adam has all the talent in the world, he does everything right, he’s a natural performer, and, obviously, extremely good looking. Yet something is missing. That spark of character in his voice. I question his anointed one status, maybe I’ll be wrong. But he’ll definitely need more than the frauen to pull him through, ask Clay Aiken. Also, six words ladies: Adam Lambert will never fuck you.

Kris comes out, the Lambertfrau are unenthusiastic, I am enthusiastic. He does a great version of Heartless to start his set and the Lambertfrau in front of me leave with the quickness when he finishes. Ain’t No Sunshine is a light shining between a couple drab and dreary covers of The Killers and Matchbox 20. He closes with Hey Jude and everybody comes on stage for the climax. They should end the show there but then they sing Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing, which is a mess.

Great concert. I gots to drive home.

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And now onto Allison Iraheta, La Princesa del Mariachi…

And how about some Lil Rounds? Remember her?

And Megan Joy, the beautiful caw-ing goddess…

Now onto the godly Michael Sarver…

And his godly buddy, Danny Gokey…

And some Adam Lambert…

And some Anoop Desai…

And Matt Giraud…SANS QUATTO

And finally the winner, Hot By Default Kris Allen

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EEEEK!!! EEEEK!!! I do not like it when Gokey smolders.

Look how smooth that forehead looks! Sniff, sniff! Bad photo retouchers…BAD!!!

Good photo of Anoop!

What happened to her weave?

Looks like Blind Guy got the shaft again. Poor dude. (Or the person just didn’t scan him, which still means he kind of got the shaft.)

Now isn’t SHE beautiful? Love how her and Lambert used the mic in such a suggestive manner…how very phallic, no?

I bet there is someone else on the tour who loves this last photo in a godly way, don’t you?

And here are some other assorted shots which would kind of fall under the portrait category…maybe…kind of?

And a couple of group-split-into-2 shots, which I imagine face each other in the actual program.

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