Non-wedding guests were served with letters informing requiring them to leave the premises by noon on Friday. Carrie was supposed to arrive at the Ritz by helicopter on Friday.

Michael Lynche ate a sandwich with Salt & Vinegar Pringles on the side. He also ask-Tweeted to see Tim Urban’s chest. (Ok, that last one was as-per-the-request of fantards, I think.) I honestly think the contestants on tour are having more fun using Twitter and making sandwiches. There are likely a handful of Lee DeWyze Tards who have subsisted on nothing but peanut butter & jelly sandwiches since yesterday morning. Perhaps this is just a plea for food on everyone’s behalf?

Kim Caldwell did something for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Good job for a good cause!

If you’re in Kansas City today, Melinda Doolittle is appearing at the NAACP Convention from 4-6 and will be signing copies of her book. Go Mindy Do!

Alex Wagner-Trugman remains the funniest former Idol contestant on Twitter.

Nashville Scene acknowledges the batshit crazy Glamberts who took event listings writer Adam Gold to task for having fun with his description of Adam Lambert’s concert last week. Notice how when any publication prints anything not 125% glowing about Adam Lambert, they end up following up with a THESE PEOPLE ARE LUNATICS post 2-3 days later? I sense a trend. In any case, Alex Gold cracks me up. Any attempts at reasoning with these people…

@JGlambert. Lambert’s vocal prowess is not what’s been called into question here, an artistic choice is. But since you brought up … Neither Springsteen nor Bono can sing? At all? Really? God gave you ears, that I can deduce are capable of hearing ½ in a physical sense, at least ½ and you TOTALLY blew it.

On another note, saying that I’m a homophobe because my nausea kicks in when I hear Adam Lambert give “Ring of Fire” the Evanescence treatment, is like the Irish Defamation League coming after you for saying Bono can’t sing. Bono has given you plenty of ammo with which to make of him. Seriously, either step it up a bit if you’re gonna go there or keep your comments and criticisms relevant to the piece in question.

Also, what’s a smank?

Yeah…what is a smank? But I swear these people have form letters they copy verbatim every single day. Scientologists do this kind of thing too…

Adam Lambert’s singing was called “outstanding”"impeccable”flawless”incredible” by the AI judges, mentors, guest singers on AI. He is rated #2 of top 50on DDDmusic which has approximately 15 criteria judging a singer ‘s technical skill. The entire recording industry jumped on board to work with him. mr gold looks stupid because of his article. He has lost all credibiltiy and it is gone forever. His own fault. Prejudice has ruined more than one life.

Come on, come on, come on…I know you can do it…say it…come on, bring that one guy up…YES. Glamberts, you never let me down.

@jimmy, please catch up. Adam Lambert won #1 Artist of 2009 by Rolling Stone readers. Won #;3 spot by MTV and best of all, even passed my fav Freddie Mercury for #2 on DDD music eval Technical Skill Rock Singers: Evaluation based on singing ability not popularity or influence (Adam has 70 city tour then goes to Europe and Asis means SUCCESSFUL)
Anyho! The eval based on:Prijection, Resonance,endurance,Range, Versatility-tonal, Stylistic, Technical And Breath Support, Register Switching,Register Blending,Pitch, Vocal Runs,Consistency Throught Registers, Volume Control, Vibrato Control, Sustain, and Diction. It is more finely tuned these day, Freddie Mercury was number one, now Jackie Wilson is #1,Adam Lambert2, Freddie Mercury#3. It is a singer’s technical talent not a popularity contest. Freddie is my fav tho I love Adam a lot.

What’s great about the follow-up posts about Batshit Crazy Glamberts is that they always yield MORE batshit craziness. Hey, Adam Gold, if we’re ever in the same city, I’m definitely buying you a drink.

Making reference to this does not make me a homophobe. Calling me a homophobe is as boneheaded and inane as when Glenn Beck compares Barack Obama to a Nazi. It’s a bunch of elemental and rhetorical malarkey people invoke to put themselves on a moral high-ground as a substitute for actually making a point.

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On April 20th David had his arm around some girl.

The fan described it. She looked like kimberly caldwell. Skinny blonde and actually did resemble her, but it wasn’t her, the hair was a little longer.

David whoring around….

Uh, dude. Why such an obsessive attention to detail? Here is another one of Holly’s posts — it may give you a bit of insight into her typical lingo, which we’ve seen used by a particularly vicious commenter.

yes, his magic rainbow is in its full glory in the rated R Hot thread.
Ladies, go check it out and use your imagination.

Blech. And here she pipes up again since they needed some new “scoop”, of course:

Guess who showed up in Virginia Beach at the show to see our David? Several people witnessed it, in fact 5 people emailed me about it. Was there a reason he did not come out to the buses or did he really have a flight home?
You decide.
Can you guess?

Oh, there she goes on about him not going to meet fans outside by the buses. I assume she’s still pissed since he didn’t go out to meet her in Wilke Barre during the Idol tour.

Holly Sockpuppets is such a master at creating suspense. After a few posters inquire who it was (most likely nearly all Sockpuppets), ADExecutive Savannah comes to the rescue in typical Holly Sockpuppets fashion!

Holly is in a meeting until 2:00 today so you will have to wait until then unless someone else comes on here and spills it. I think she likes to keep you all in suspense. ha ha

I don’t even know who it is.

Don’t you love it how ADExecutive or ModeratorJO always show up when Holly is conveniently on a business trip or at a meeting.

OH NOEZZZZ! The suspense is killing everyone!

hysterical.

Holly will be on tonight, she will tell ya. I’m out of here until tomorrow…

ADExecutive will also show up to moderate the “Kim Skankwell” talk in the sicko Girlfriends, Scene Queens and other Acquaintances thread. Because obviously, Kim Caldwell has her very own thread.

hey guys, sorry to interrupt. Please limit conversation about skanky in this thread. Please take it to the Caldwell threads. Thank You!

Holly Sockpuppets is responsible for most of the horrible “Cook Fan Comments” regarding Kimberly Caldwell. Here are some examples. Most of the comments on this blog are nearly all Holly/Maryann Sockpuppets.

She is a skank, slut, whore, raunchy, stupid, fake, dumb blond.I’m so happy David Cook finally DUMPED her.He IS HAPPIER now and enjoying beeing single.

What other names can you call her? I love this one, because it’s such a dead giveaway. She mentions Carrie Underwood, of course, because this is an example of a CLASSY BLOND Cook should be dating.

Well if he denied the engagement rumor, then why isn’t he denying this one??

I never could stand Caldwell even before David Cook. She is such a D list loser. I can not believe someone as intelligent as David Cook dated this dumb, fake, loud mouth whore. awh…wait a minute. Maybe that’s why he dated her, to get laid. I mean Caldwell was never a challenge.

All his fans knew all along she was a poor choice. Not good for his credibility as an A lister either. For his record label to allow him to walk down a red carpet with her would be a joke.

Call Carrie Underwood David. Now there is a nice Tulsa girl. Brains, Beauty and major talent.

And one minute later…

Best Free speech board on the internet

DavidCook-uncensored.forumotion.net

We tell it like it is over there. Lots of Caldwell/Cook news.

I certaintly hope he picks a classier and more educated woman next time.

CLASSY CLASSY CLASSY! Just like Holly/Maryann!

And only two minutes later…

Man, TV Guide must be chewing her ass out big time.

What a friggin loser she is.

If David Cook goes back with this skank, then he is a major idiot and desperate.

Don’t you have anything better to do, you whack job? This behavior would never be considered healthy.

Two more minutes pass…

God look at the wrinkles on her forehead already… she is suppose to be what 26 going on 40

As opposed to 53 going on 32?

But she’s not done…not even close…and she even manages to put all those ADVERTISING skills to good use once again:

It doesn’t matter who dumped who, I hope she is out of his life. She is messing up his credibility and career. His fans were suprised when he asked her out because he seemed so smart on the show and so mature…and Caldwell is not.

He will soar once she is out of the picture. Once a tramp, always a tramp.

Grow up David. Sex isn’t everything. I don’t care how good you think she is, she has been around the block since she was 15 year’s old. She admitted she lost her virginity on Howard Stern.

davidcook-uncensored.forumotion.net (Great free speech board about cook and caldwell. Lots of factual info and news on this whore.

Holly Sockpuppets’ “enemies” are making sure she’s called out on her crap, even on old articles, such as this blog which had posted a behind-the-scenes look at one of Cook’s videos. Obviously, she must come in here and defend herself, causing other drama.

Holly is posting as Anonymous here, and making up a bunch of shit.

well it looks like close to 2,000 members on DCU like to stick their nose in David and other celebrities private lives. It is just common curiosity. As far as the Admin being someone named maryann777, you are 100% wrong. I know who you are Angie. We learned about you from Top Idol. You had a vengeance against some girl named Maryann simply because she didn’t agree with how you were slandering Constantine. Why don’t you give it up and stop slandering someone you don’t even know. Whoever the girl is, they both sound very smart and have college degrees. Neither is crazy. You are the one crazy. And how do you know if one worked for a pharm company and use to work for a record label. You know nothing. Stop being so hateful. No one is bothering you so stop bother everyone else. DCU is a cool board and no one over there is crazy. Some things are not always what you think they are.

Only four minutes after the aforementioned comment was posted, another sockpuppet named Karly showed up…and accused two innocent girls who used to post on the board.

I agree. The Admin is not a low level employee by any means. You people are so jealous and stupid. There is no way you would know any of that information lindsey and mandapanda. You two have been banned from numerous boards for lies. The Admin on DCU is very educated and does work for an Advertising company. You two are so sick and hateful because she banned you. Grow up or we will have the person running this site delete the comments like they did on the other boards where you trying to slander her. You better be very careful about slandering this person. I am just giving you a warning. She knows where you live. Karly

WHOA, “Karly”, was that a THREAT?? Exactly one minute later, “Terri” comments (my oh my, such activity on a blog originally posted in March.)

Hey that Sarah Roemer is such a lucky lady to be kissing David. I am suprised he never asked her out. I heard she was at the Idol show backstage when David performed.

There Holly Sockpuppets goes again, trying to make “scoop”. She is also obsessed with Sarah Roemer, the girl in the Come Back to Me video. She believes Cook should date Roemer because she is CLASSY.

Back in March, when this article was originally posted, “Anonymous” showed up to promote her awesome uncensored board!

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It sounded like a Danny Gokey song to me.

Nigel Lythgoe, while describing how much Kara DioGuardi’s No Boundaries sucks ass.

Nigel Lythgoe also misses a loopy Paula and wishes she made less sense this season, and while he claims to think Shit For Brains makes sense, he “hates four judges.”

Now, I am so excited for So You Think You Can Dance. And it totally explains while Mary Murphy has a job. Because Nigel Lythgoe is one smart bastard. He knows its not a televised “talent competitions” if you don’t have a painted brunette with a prescription-happy physician, penchant for Bartles & Jaymes and a heart of gold.

Yay! Chikeze is on. He’s dressed like the Captain without a Tenille. I always liked Chikeze, but remember, Idol hates black people. Even David Hernandez is there.

I need to remind you, this is the first time I have ever seen Idol Tonight, which is kind of funny, b/c it has to share the screen with a channel guide no one uses anymore.

And Brad Garrett (Everyone Loves Raymond, right? I still have never met a person who watched that show.) just announced he had his back waxed for the finale.

This shit is just wrong.

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Yeah. The resemblance is pretty damn scary.

Ironically, Goatlove suggested I blog about Adam’s acne. But this was when I was inebriated and unable to use an entire keyboard and could only punch random letters on my phone. I couldn’t even blog about last night’s shit show. And I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about at first, given that I was inebriated and everything. And since I don’t really blog about the contestants’ complexions, I was not really sure what I was to say about the state of Adam’s face. Plus, like I mentioned about 6 times before, I was pretty drunk.

But then I saw the above photo and had a laugh. Not only is there a freakish resembelance to Kim Caldwell, but Goatlove was sooooo right. Adam Lambert does not have good skin. Which wouldn’t be a big deal or anything if he wasn’t wearing horrific stage foundation. I guess that shit is supposed to cover your facial flaws underneath those bright lights or some such nonsense, but I think it’s exacerbating Adam’s complexion issues.

Which basically confirms what we knew all along. American Idol’s crack team of makeup artists suck donkey balls. They drown nearly every femaled contestant in a flood of glitter. I swear those chicks can barely open their eyes because they glue on like 5–10 ounces of mirrored confetti on each eyelid. And now they’re making this dude’s teenage affliction flair back up. The guy looks like a pizza with Provel cheese.

Clearly Lambert was better off doing his own makeup or having one of his friends do it. Because his skin looked a lot better pre-Idol.

And the glitter application is much better than what we’ve ever seen on Idol. I think the key is to not apply the glitter all in one place and look how the addition of rhinestones breaks up the monotony of all that glittery goodness with even more jazzy pizzazz. There is a really fine line between drag diva and Japanese school girl’s mobile phone. One must tread carefully.

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