... ...

Idol Quickies: August 11, 2010

2010 August 11
tags: , , , , , , , , ,
by TopIdol

I already know this post will be trashed, but whatevia. Here we go.

Chik-fil-a continues its quest for worldwide dominance through American Idol. Season 7′s Michael Johns is now Tweeting about chiky-chik-chik goodness. (Me? I don’t recall ever having a life-changing meal at this place, but I’ve never been on American Idol. Maybe I’ll hit the West County Center food court the next time I’m in the Lou, let all of you know what I think.) Side note — I do kind of feel sorry for Michael Johns, as he is forced to use an underscore in his Twitter account because some teabagger from Jersey shares the same name.

JENNIFER LOPEZ IS OUT. It seems Jenny from the Block / J. Lo. / One of the lamest narcissist bitches you will be lucky to never meet was just was too demanding and Idol judges shit-canned her ass before she even signed on the dotted line. Perhaps UMG knows she can’t sell albums? Perhaps no one wants a closet Scientologist at the judges’ table? Perhaps the bitch just wanted too damn much, because all she ever does is want want want. J. Lo, you peaked with Out of Sight and when you wore that sheer Versace robe with the merkin-of-bling, even though my mom has a Dillard’s private label plus-sized muumuu that’s really not dissimilar.

Of course, perhaps Kara DioGuardi threatened to kill herself if she could no longer be on Idol or something. Wait. I should not be referencing suicide — although Fantasia is out of the hospital. But Shit-For-Brains must be pissed since she has her Republican politician Daddy complaining about it on TV. The producer’s haven’t called her! Doesn’t that mean you’re out of work? Why is your Dad talking about this on a political-centric show? Jesus Christ. Sen. Scott Brown’s daughter was on American Idol and you don’t hear him talking about it, granted Ayla Brown was on the show about 5 years ago and she wasn’t a judge or anything. I think I just wanted an excuse to post THIS:

WAIT! These GossipCop people claim J. Lo is still in the running to judge everyone’s not-favorite shit show. I bet she’s paying them with Dianetics and Glow to say such things.

Poor, sweet Casey James…if he’s gonna help the little people out, it better be some nice midgets…

Big Mike Lynche better make Casey a good sandwich tonight. They’ve been eating GOOD lately. Then again, Big Mike hasn’t missed a meal since he was a zygote. They’re even eating sandwiches in daylight now! In the desert! Big Mike, I never thought I would call myself a fan but dude, you need your own Food Network show or deli or something. Maybe you could tag team 2-foot bacon cheeseburgers with the Man vs. Food guy or something, I dunno, but you if you’re not totally set on pursuing this singing stuff, the world is your buffet table. Take all the plates you want.

CLUBEN happened tonight. In NYC. In the ladies’ room of the Hammerstein Ballroom. Yeah…THIS is how you close a show, dammit!

Isn’t this guy a newlywed? Does he ever spend time with his wife? Jason Castro, all you do is eat and sleep in food courts and airports. And in between, you likely play your guitar and take bong hits, maybe watch some baseball. It’s cool, Castro, it’s cool. I had no idea Kumar’s woman had a sister! Score!

Spread the word. Do it.
[Facebook] [Google] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Twitter] [Yahoo!] [Email]

from → American Idol

  • Trish

    Oh, Lord, sorry I’m so late to the party, especially after I requested a new “Quickies” thread, but you’ve outdone yourself on this one.

    John Cho, Kal Penn and Casey James! Does it get any better than that?

    Oh, and then there’s this. I love Big Mike but I nearly choked on my cuppa joe when I read it:

    Then again, Big Mike hasn’t missed a meal since he was a zygote. They’re even eating sandwiches in daylight now! In the desert! Big Mike, I never thought I would call myself a fan but dude, you need your own Food Network show or deli or something. Maybe you could tag team 2-foot bacon cheeseburgers with the Man vs. Food guy or something, I dunno, but you if you’re not totally set on pursuing this singing stuff, the world is your buffet table. Take all the plates you want.

    • Trish

      And John HAMM! How did I miss that???

      • Trish

        Sorry: JON.

  • JaneRochester

    Looks like Casey finally has some OFFICIAL good news to share. W00t!

    • et

      JaneRochester, do you follow him on Twitter? I had to laugh at how he did it. Goofball. Happy for him and hoping for a good album. Have gotten rather fond of our dear Goatboy. Seems like a good egg (following him on Twitter is like following Susie Sunshine, though, he’s not real edgy).

      • JaneRochester

        No, I’m not on Twitter, but I have his, Crystal’s and Lee’s feeds bookmarked and check in from time to time. He probably could give Archie a run for his money in the sweetness & light category (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

    • Dickory Dock

      This is actually good news. Congratulations to Casey! Now let’s just hope he has great management and doesn’t end up singing crap-ass songs about tractors and pickups.

      Late Night Sammich, Arizona edition. There is a lot of chewing.

      Arizona. This makes me want to quote Raising Arizona. “Son, you got a panty on your head.”

      • Trish

        LOL, that sammich must have been DAMN good — they barely uttered a word!

        I think the two of them are the funniest (and oddest) “bromance” to ever come out of Idol. I’d like to see Lee DeWyze bench press Andrew Garcia, Kris Allen press Adam Lambert, and David Cook lift Michael Johns for comparison’s sake, however.

  • oddgirl

    Kris said during his radio station gig yesterday that the music video for The Truth would be released on Monday.

    VH1 has already added it to its playlist!

    http://www.fmqb.com/Article.asp?id=16025

    • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

      I’m really about to ask…is this on topic? Yes, I know this is a free-for-all post but I would really, really, really love to not have this descend into a Kris Allen post.

      Please don’t take it the wrong way. I’m not trying to be rude and this is more a message for everyone. I just really want there to be discussion about other things besides Season 8′s top 2 finishers.

      • Llamakhan

        I have to say, thank you TI. I love Kris, but every post turns into Kris vs. Adam. There are other important things like Late Night Sandwich! I never thought I would ever warm up to Big Mike, but now I want him to make me lunch!

        • JaneRochester

          Behold the power of Late Night Sandwich: if I go to another concert, I can almost picture myself going to the barricades, just so I can tell Mike & Casey how awesome their show is. And that’s even after watching that nightmare twitvid of people yelling, “Casey, Casey, Casey,” for nearly three solid minutes without breathing. My god. It’s like trying to go to the bathroom with a toddler on the other side of the door.

          • deez

            One thing I noticed about the video of Casey signing is that there are an AWFUL LOT of people there. I was surprised by that. I thought things weren’t going well. TBH, I expected half-full venues and six people by the buses.

          • jukejoint

            I guess that means that the few people who are going to the concerts are all hard-core and they all go to the buses. A thousand people in an arena meant to hold ten thousand looks really sad. But a thousand people out by the buses is plenty.

          • Trish

            Really. Have these women never seen anybody with hair before? Casey’s hair is really nice (especially by American Idol standards) but, seriously, what’s the big f*cking deal about it?

          • JaneRochester

            Maybe they’re all Cook fans.

      • oddgirl

        TI

        I am confused. Are we not allwoed to post any information about Adam or Kris,– even if it is actual news, such as the fact Kris’s music video is about to be released?

        • oddgirl

          I understand you don’t want every post to disintegrate into a Kris
          and/or Adam post. But I don’t understand not wanting anyone
          to post anything about them.

          • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

            I’m asking for a reprieve, that’s all. I don’t want it to be on every post. I’ll post another Idol Quickies tonight, and maybe I’ll post it. I have no problem with people bringing things over, but I wish more people concentrated on discussing the post or the items mentioned in it than bringing unrelated things over. I just don’t want everything to become a post on Season 8. If I was able to do more posts every day, it would be less of a problem.

            This isn’t an admonishment on you Oddgirl, none whatsoever. I just did not want the discussion to get out of hand, which it often does, and I saw it going in that direction, especially with the MTV post, too.

  • jukejoint

    Thank you for dating a Quickie with my birthday. (This means it is no longer my birthday and no sentiments are necessary. I just like seeing my day in the header up there.)

    • deez

      Okay then…Happy Unbirthday :) .

    • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUKEJOINT!

      But we don’t get an Idol Quickies for today until there are at least 50 or so comments and/or I know people have moved on from the other one for the most part. Heh heh. I even have one started.

    • margie

      Happy belated Birthday JukeJoint!!!!!!!!!!! You are eight days older than me!! :)

      • FreeDavidCook

        Happy belated birthday Juke Joint! What better way to celebrate than with Late Night Sandwich at The THING! (has anyone ever stopped at The Thing? It’s a hoot!) AND Jon Hamm.

  • JaneRochester

    Same here. I didn’t buy Anoop’s album, and I love Anoop, because I just can’t stomach that kind of tuneage. But I watch Big Mike on TV in a heartbeat. He needs a Martha-type show where a different celebrity guest makes their fave sandwich every week. It would be stellar.

    • JaneRochester

      “I WOULD watch.” Oy.

      • deez

        American Sandwich. I am so there. Would this be a studio show, or location?? I say Mike goes on location to a different state each week and makes a “local flavor sandwich.”

        But then again, it could be a studio show with Mike in a smoking jacket making sandwiches in his Man Cave style kitchen.

        • JaneRochester

          The possibilities are limitless. I just know I’d want him to go to the diviest dive in the world with Guy Fieri.

    • muzikizmi

      Yep. The guest could make his sandwich, and then Big Mike could bench press him. Maybe even clean and jerk. No, that’s not dirty. No, really.

  • J

    I’m pretty sure I would never buy any of Big Mike’s music. I would absolutely watch him on the Food Network. I agree that Casey and even Tim are fun additions to Late Night Sandwich but I could do without Andrew and the guest appearances by Katie. There’s just something about her that makes me want to smack her.

    If David and David ever do a show like Clay and Ruben are doing I will cry or throw a hissy fit depending on my mood that day.

  • magnacarta

    I like Michael Johns, but it’s his own fault if he has to use an underscore. His real name is Michael J. Lee. If he used that instead, maybe he’d have better luck lol

  • Nich

    Jim’s twitter recap of the Cluben show was terrifying.

    • magnacarta

      There’s a recap the MTV website now: http://bit.ly/dzx51a

      That being said, if 6 years from now Kris Allen and Adam Lambert are putting on a similar show, I might jump out of a window.

      Very true, Jim. lol

      • JaneRochester

        I can’t believe he put that last sentence in there. Does he *want* to get buried in you-know-what/who? Are hits really that important?

        I didn’t watch AI until S7, but if this show came near me I’d be tempted to go. It sounds hilarious.

        • deez

          After I scraped the cheese off my monitor, I was able to see that (once again) the comment section had turned into “OMG!! He’s bettah than Elvis and his next Glammertime Show SOLD OUT the Grand Canyon!!!!!!!! WHY Jim, WHY say the name? (on second thought, go ahead…I’m sure an article about Salad Fork Etiquette could somehow find its six degrees back to Adam if there was a comment section)

        • sj

          LOL – I couldn’t believe it either Jane. He’s blatantly stirring things up.

        • auntieaimee

          I think he enjoys rattling their cage. :)

          • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

            I don’t think he thought they would run to a review of a CLAYMATE show. But hey, it’s providing good hilarity.

    • margie

      I kind of want to see this clusterf*ck. I think it would be goodtimes while drunk :)

      • ross

        I don’t think Jim should have to censor himself for fear of what the Galmberts will say in the comments section.

        • ross

          Or the Glamberts, for that matter.

          • Llamakhan

            Actually, Galmberts sounds better Ross. It could almost be a disease, like warts or something.

  • deez

    MAMA LIKE!!!!

    Can you imagine Castro on Late Night Sandwich????????

    I do have a request for Big Mike, I love him and his sandwich sidekick, Casey. Cameo appearances from Timmeh, Aaron, and Lee are fine….but WTF does Garcia add to this? Dude, your sandwich commentary is subpar. Remediate, or GTFO!

    • et

      LOL, deez, you don’t like watching Garcia stand there mugging with that weird grin and making weird hand gestures? :)

  • FreeDavidCook

    I hope poor Fantasia gets help. Ain’t no man, no matter how fantastic the sex and sweet talk, worth trying to off yourself over.

    Big Mike needs a Late Night Sammich show on the Food Network. He could have various celebs show up and he’d make them a sammich for the ages. And then they’d talk between bites.

    You mah hero tonight, Melinda, posting my favorite clip from SLR and my fav from H & K.