CDBNYC dragged her ass out to Newark for the AI9 Idols Tour

CDBNYC went to Newark for the Idols show. Along for the ride were Kodachrome621 and GloriaGloria. If you haven’t gone to a concert with them before, you really should put this on your bucket list. (I’m one of the lucky ones.)

If you’re wondering why the hell they went to Newark to see the likes of your cousin Phil DeWheezy and Drunk Benami sing songs sung better by other people, its because they took advantage of that LiveNation deal offering up seats for $10 and could see the amusement in getting drunk in Newark for an Idols show.

Why was I at the American Idol Season 9 tour, you ask? Sigh. I guess the time has come to admit it. I’m madly in love with Andrew Garcia. Totally butt-crazy in love with him, you might even say. Yes, I know he’s married and has an adorable little child, but I just can’t shake the feeling that we’re meant to be together. Andrew, I really want to love you forever. You’re not just caught in a hit and run.

…or the tickets were cheap, and I thought it would be amusing to go.

We came to Newark fully armed for the AI tour experience. Our arsenal included three Phil Dweezy pins (we may be ambivalent about Lee DeWyze, but we loooooooove Phil Dweezy), one “I <3 Tim” pin, one “BOW-ER-SOX” pin, one “I’m just here for the music” pin (everyone should buy a $10 pinmaker – seriously awesome investment), and copious amounts of alcohol.  We did not acquire any more pins while at the Prudential Center. We did, however, acquire quite a lot more beer.

We began our evening in the third-to-last row of the arena. It was a looooooong way away. I’m pretty sure Didi performed while we were up there. I couldn’t tell you for sure, though. They might have just been playing the background music from an episode of Gilmore Girls while some blond crew member wandered around.  Andrew Garcia definitely performed. He sang all of “Straight Up” standing way at the back of the stage. Maybe he was afraid to get too close to the audience? I don’t blame him – people are pretty angry about what he did to “Genie In A Bottle.”

They let us move about 10 rows forward at that point. Things were much improved. And they began to look up musically, as well!  Katie Stevens doesn’t have much personality, but at least she has energy and a decent belt. Girl was working HARD to get that audience engaged, and I appreciate that. She will be a valued member of her college drama department and/or a cappella group.

Tim Urban. Oh, Tim Urban. I love you. I was wearing a pin that proclaimed my love for you. But darling? Out of a group of people who can’t really sing, you can’t really sing the most. Your Goo Goo Dolls song was painful. (You should have sung Iris. I hate Iris with a violent passion, but that would at least have been funny. To me.) Viva La Vida was significantly better. But why no slide, Tim? Why no goofiness? And most importantly, WHY THE FLAT IRONING? It turned your luscious 70s teen idol locks into boring emo hipster hair. It robbed you of your powers. It made me sad. Don’t do that again, okay? And give up on the music thing and get a job on a CW show. You’d be perfect for 7th Heaven v.2.

Siobhan needs a band. She’s out there in her goth milkmaid costume, with her eerie intro music and her piercing wails, and there’s no one for her to interact with. She needs more bodies on stage. And they need to not make her sing Spiderwebs. It’s a fun song, but it ain’t a Siobhan song.

High School Student Aaron Kelly? Was awesome. Who knew? He’s totally viable as a country artist. (I say, as someone who doesn’t really listen to country music.) His vocals were strong, his song choices were good (though the Lonestar version of Walking In Memphis lacks the punch of the original), his energy was high, he filled a large arena. Good for you, High School Student Aaron Kelly! Go be Country Bieber, with less annoying hair! Godspeed!

Performers 10-5 sang The Climb. It should have been Party In The USA.

At intermission, the drinking continued. As did the ticket upgrades. A truly awesome friend gave us some extra tickets for the first tier, just above the floor. So much closer! People were actually getting into the show down on this level! Standing up? Eh, not so much. But definitely reacting more audibly. So that was fun.

Mike Lynch’s set was like molasses. Sooooooooooo sloooooooooow. He went down on one knee at some point. Mike, the Prudential Center doesn’t want to marry you. Really. Please don’t propose to us, it’ll just be embarassing for all involved. Oh, and never rap again, okay? Glad we sorted that out.  Casey’s set (with the exception of that damn Don Juan De Marco song, which we’ll lump in with Mike’s set as the same critiques apply) was fun. That boy can certainly play guitar. Vocals were pretty good, too, although he’s still majorly lacking in stage presence. Again, song choice. Important. And well done. Good luck with southern rock, Casey – it suits you.

Crystal Bowersox should have been at Lilith Fair. But I’m glad she was here. Because there’s no way I’m going to Lilith Fair (just can’t deal with that many female singers at once - I’m trying to conquer my musical misogyny, really I am), and I was very very happy to see Crystal live. She’s great. She just tears into her songs with energy and passion and skill, and brings the audience along with her. I haven’t wailed “What’s Up” that loudly since 8th grade.

And then there was Lee. The audience loved Lee. There were more puffy paint shirts for him than for anyone else. There were women of all ages carrying his photo around. He’s clearly the heartthrob of the season. (But…Tim!)  To be fair, Lee stayed pretty much on key throughout, which is far more than he managed on 90% of his AI performances. But his arrangements are odd (he made Beautiful Day sound like Free Fallin’, and turned Hallelujah into a headbanger), his vocals make almost everything sound like Creed (you know what the world needs? More Creed!), and he sang Use Somebody. So, no. I’m sorry, Lee. But you are not for me.

Then they all sang It’s My Life/My Life Would Suck Without You. A beautiful medley built around the theme “Songs Performed On Glee.” Honestly, after watching them perform this on Good Morning America, I devoted a full hour of my life to memorizing the lyrics to My Life Would Suck Without You, so I could sing along loudly enough to drown out the actual singers. This proved not to be strictly necessary – they sounded totally okay. But I learned those Kelly Clarkson lyrics, and I used them, damn it.

We stopped briefly at the barricades on our way out. There were a lot of people there. I’m not sure why, but I choose to believe that the draw was Jim Cantiello, who was interviewing fans. I mean, those people weren’t really there for Didi Benami, were they?

All in all, it was a good time. Due, for the most part, to the company and the alcohol, rather than the singers, but hey, whatever. And I seem to have developed a taste for the ridiculous (provided it comes at a low price). I’m totally seeing if I can score cheap tickets to the NYC stop of the Ruben/Clay tour.

I’ve heard they do a medley where Ruben sings Tik Tok and Clay sings Baby Got Back. How can I miss that?

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