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Canada is the Devil: Now Quebec has its own Frog Bieber

2010 July 21
tags: ,
by TopIdol

Oh, how many Imp of Hades clones must we endure! Our northern neighbors gave us Justin Bieber, and now they’ve given us Jacob. (I translated it. With Google’s help, of course.) Jesus Christ, Canada…what the hell did anyone ever do to you?

This young Canadian may become great… In the meantime, we could not resist noting his uncanny resemblance to young star Justin Bieber. Indeed, his new video “So Young”, posted a few days immediately reminds the world of Bieber. Juvenile love, angel voice, cap and fuse, it has all the trappings with the salient feature of singing in French.

Quebec native Jacob sings in French-Canadian, but otherwise, he’s pretty much The Moppet of Beelzebub Part Deux. A fabulous French co-worker of mine sent this to me because naturally, people think of me when they see things of this nature. It probably also did not help that my department decorated my entire cube in Justin Bieber, Twilight and John Mayer for my birthday.

I keep thinking Karl Wolf is Vanilla Ice, but he’s not. He’s Karl Wolf. I’m not sure who that is, but its good Jacob has someone to drive him around as he’s too young to get behind a wheel.

This video also features a yellow sports car. Yellow cars must die. I hate yellow cars. Canada, why are you torturing the world with your midget boychildren and their floppy hair?

Spread the word. Do it.
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from → Randomness

  • Kate123

    “Jesus Christ, Canada…what the hell did anyone ever do to you?”

    We just want people to pay attention to us :( You Americans always steal the spotlight

  • Kate123

    Aww! I move out of Montreal and this little gem comes along :(

    So if Jacob is Bieber, Karl Wolf is..Usher? What’s with all of these R&B guys picking up young boys???

  • magnacarta

    I haven’t heard of him yet. As long as he doesn’t make an appearance at ‘Salut Bonjour’ (probably the most popular morning show) we’re safe.

    On the other, if he becomes popular and we find him annoying, there’s a good chance we’re gonna throw him at the States or France…

  • MaryS-NJ

    It’s not just Canada, I’m afraid. The Devil is at work on a global (well North American) scale.

    This guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrTwWmpQ2l0&feature=PlayList&p=10D21632AC15D7E8&playnext=1&index=21 Austin Anderson is a 15 year old “recording artist” and actor whose been on Nickelodeon and will apparently be auditioning for American Idol season 10. VFTW has him pegged as a producers’ plant already. See here — http://www.votefortheworst.com/forum/topic/666090/austin-anderson-ai10s-big-producer-plant and http://www.votefortheworst.com/story/666088/get-ready-for-the-justin-bieber-wannabes

  • Katie112

    There’s nothing more that I can add, except that we have fully established now that 12-year-old boys aspire to look like butch lesbians. All of the posters have summed it up very nicely.

  • nobunnyearshere

    Ummmm…not to be a party pooper here, but we Canadians don’t refer to our Quebecois Canadians as frogs. It’s a historical thing that I won’t bore you guys here, but the bottom line is that it’s really deeply disrespectful (and offensive to many) not funny; it would be like if we used the N word on non-whities. If the Quebecois wish to reference themselves that way, that’s different. But the Acadian French in Eastern Canada would be hurt by such an epithet. Since I know TI is a respective if sometimes sardonic person, I don’t think it’s the end of the world or anything. But thought I’d mention it.
    And the rest of us Canadians are real sorry about Bieber. We didn’t invent him though, i don’t think. Hoping he will go away soon soon soon.

    • Pandora

      Thank you for the Bieber-apology! Do you also have one for inflicting Celine Dion on us? That’s not quite fair, though; she does have an incredible voice, it’s just that she sings such crappy songs.

      • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

        I also did not watch SYTYCD yet because I am too busy being consumed by new episodes of…Degrassi: The Next Generation.

        Trust me, I don’t blame Canada for Bieber. I blame Twitter. And Satan. And YouTube. And Usher, of course.

        • jukejoint

          You know how everybody has a relative who’s in a band and therefore knows more than everybody else about, well, everything? I have a relative who was in the band that backed up some girl from DeGrassi when she tried to be a pop star. I can’t remember her name, though, so I’m not doing all that well as a know-it-all or name dropper. Cassie something, maybe?

          This was when she was in LA, but she went back to Toronto.

      • Katie112

        Don’t forget the Bryan Adams and Avril Lavigne apologies.

        • Pandora

          I actually liked Avril’s first CD. It was angsty and young and fun. After that one, not so much.

        • Lauren

          I loved Avril’s first two CDs. She was my favorite singer when I was a tween. She has a great voice even if she has questionable song-writing ability. “The Best Damn Thing” though…it just sucked.

          • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

            I still really love My Happy Ending. That song kind of kicks ass.

          • Lauren

            That is my favorite song from Under My Skin !

      • nobunnyearshere

        Yeek. I don’t think even apologizing for screamin’ Celine would cut it. On the other hand, we have also given the world Neil Young, Gordon Lightfood, the Tragically Hip, and Leonard Cohen. Oh, and The Stampeders, but that wasn’t such a great idea. (I’ve just dated myself, I know it.)

    • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

      I think its because I work with so many French-French people and we do have an office in Montreal, so there is always that superiority issue in regards to what is really “French.”

      Honestly, I have difficulty thinking of Bieber as Canadian, or any nationality, for that matter. I think he just was made in a lab somewhere.

      • mtlfan

        Is there any issue regarding what is really “English”? although we are considerably less numerous than the U.S, we are in a similar boat.

  • Verbally Dyslexic

    Isn’t this the outcome of poor parenting? It’s one thing for kids to toy with puppy love, but to dress up like little adults and strut around like they’re playas is just… wrong.

  • J

    Shouldn’t that little boy be playing the latest Wii game or hockey with his friends? Why is he even thinking about this girl who looks about 4 years older than him? Why do they insist on pushing the idea that middle school kids should be in angst filled relationships? Oh and why did they tart up a 14 year old girl?

  • nerdgirl

    So, is it Something French Day?

    Here is my contribution (I promise it will not remind you of Justin Bieber).

    I hope it embeds correctly.

    • mtlfan

      nedgirl…geez this is from France 1970 ….

      from Quebec:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAappAsGBO0&feature=related
      I promise that it doesn’t sound like Justin or Jacob.
      ps: guy is genius especially his lyrics but it’s in french..

      • nerdgirl

        I know it’s from 70s… Simpler times!

        • mtlfan

          hahaha indeed true

  • sj

    Painful.

  • On The Edge

    Okay, any Canadian posters here…confess, y’all are trying to take over and conquer the US by importing this shit and brainwashing our youth, aren’t you? CONFESS!

    • mtlfan

      hehehe …we are 2 founding nations in Canada so everything has to be done in both languages ..
      but hey no chance for a french boy to conquer the US

    • Mary

      Nahhh were just taking the scum out and dumping it into your wasteland ;)

  • OvenMitt

    Holy hell. Why is it when one label comes out with a smash success, all the other labels have to foist some watered-down clone upon us? One Bieber is acttually too many. And you’ve got that Greyson Chance kid that Ellen (who has NO place starting a record label) has in the pipeline, plus this bucktoothed kid, and I know there are a few others whose names I can’t recall (I’m shocked and kind of embarassed that I remember Greyson Chance, but whatever). This is late ’90s boy band mania all over again. This actually makes me long for that one ugly boy band member who used to always hover, out of focus, in the background of the music videos. Quick cuts so you didn’t have to linger on their oldness/skeeviness/odd facial hair decisions. I would take a whole new boy band comprised of the uglies from their respective boy bands over this prepubescent dross.

    Also, was it just me, or did that car change from yellow to orange halfway through the video?

  • Mysterioso

    If this helmet haired brat releases a song in English we are all doomed!

    P.S. my neighbor has a tricked out bright yellow truck AND a yellow corvette. They both are hideous eyesores.

  • http://www.dumbinternetcomments.com Doctor Lulzington

    I keep wanting to tell Karl to fix his hat. It looks like it’s going to fall off of his head.

    • ross

      What I find most offensive about this video is that they’re both wearing Yankees hats.

  • naiya

    Holy hell! What was that? Don’t you have to be a certain height in order to ride in the front seat? I suppose on the next go around (Beiber 3.0) the “star” will have to be unfastened from his car seat before he can seduce the ladies.

  • mtlfan

    geez.. we are subsidizing this?

    • ross

      That’s right. I forgot Canada subsidizes Canadian musicians.

  • tinawina

    Oh Dear God. Is no place in the world safe? Has Satan sent out his infernal prepubescent demons to all points around the earth? I weep for us all.

  • Lauren

    How come the boy is like 11, but the girl is like my age? Ewwwww…Anyway, he’s like Beiber 2.0. Floppy hair, very young, annoying singing…

  • jukejoint

    I couldn’t make it through the whole thing. It feels so creepy watching sexualized 9-year-olds.

    Wait, are they older than 9? Really?

    When I was 10 or 11, I was hot for The Monkees. Who were not my age. Today’s kiddies seem to be all about creating crushes who are the same age as they are, except these creatures act way older. So, you know, you end up with Britney and then Miley and then the Beib and now new, even younger, fetuses. 12 is the new 21? And next 6 will be the new 21?

    • deez

      I know….creepy. 11 year olds in abusive relationships? WTF?

      I had the “smelled bad fish” expression on my face while watching that.

      • ross

        Today’s kiddies seem to be all about creating crushes who are the same age as they are, except these creatures act way older.

        Adults create the whole situation. It’s all about money.

  • saskin

    Heh. Awful.