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Would you even pay $20 to see this crap?

2010 June 18
tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
by TopIdol

Season 9′s Top 10 American Idols singing Kelly Clarkson’s My Life Would Suck Without You.

What the hell did Kelly Clarkson ever do to deserve this shit?

(Thank you, Vote for the Worst)

Spread the word. Do it.
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from → American Idol

  • suew

    I don’t see Lee or Siobhan in this? Perhaps they are in the broom closet?

  • MaryS-NJ

    Yes, I paid for a ticket and will go to see these 10. Basically, I’m going to see Casey and Crystal and it’s been my experience that they are all better individually on tour than on the show. I’m not regretting it…yet, but then I don’t go for the group numbers, I go to see my favorites sing full songs in their own way. Having said that, I dearly hope (please, blond Jesus) that they pull this shit together by the time they get to Newark on July 20th.

  • old bat

    I have no heart to look at anything about the S9 people anymore. I feel like they unwittingly signed up to star in a gangbang porno, what with being screwed on all sides by the producers, judges, media, audience and everyone and their uncle. Yeah, so they get paid for it, but…

    • ross

      I feel bad for them but I don’t think they got screwed. Most of them were mediocre at best, and some were worse. I guess you could blame the judges for picking them, and the audiences for voting for the wrong ones But I don’t get how they were screwed.

      • nerdgirl

        Well, they are being screwed by everybody who ever told them that they are super talented or whatever they were told. They don’t seem to want to put any work in it at all, like they didn’t put in any work or imagination or soul during the season. Although I stopped watching after Timmeh was eliminated. They were just there, hoping that somebody would do everything for them. Who knows? 19 may try to make them all “stahs” just so they would not have to admit that they were wrong about this bunch, just like they still are trying with Adam.

        • old bat

          Anyway, it’s a “reality” show. Very little of what we see has actually much to do with reality, just what they want us to see.

      • old bat

        Have you watched their Idolatry interviews?

        • nerdgirl

          No, should I?

          • old bat

            Some of them are pretty articulate and thoughtful. Some of them talk a little about things behind the scenes. Some of them are pretty much failboats.

    • Mary

      You should watch Aaron Kelly’s interview. He basically said that when they were picking songs they only had a list of about 12 songs that they could choose from. Even though I don’t really care for any of these contestants, they did get royally screwed when we had Simon and co. blasting them every week for picking the wrong song, even though that was the producers fault.

  • pootle

    Suck indeed.

    How did it go so wrong this year? It was just terrible, even though they seem nice enough people (not that I saw much about them). Poor Allison Iraheta should have waited a year. And Matt. Either of those would have walked this season.

    • muzikizmi

      LOL, I said that a couple of months ago. Allison or Matt could have won this year, if they had waited. Kris would have won again, if he were eligible.

  • kimberly

    I just sat through a 90 minute music recital. Violins, guitars, drums, piano the whole enchilada. Newbies on piano, I can tolerate, trumpet and violin, not so much. But, the worst of the lot are the vocalists. I have never, ever, heard a student of voice actually sound good at these recitals. I could get up there and sing better than these poor creatures whose parents are paying out good money to hear them sing off-key in front of an audience. Every time I see “voice” listed on the program, I groan loudly and curse under my breath. It’s so sad.

    I had no choice, but to go to that torturefest for my child. No way would I choose to pay or sit through another. Not even for Crystal.

  • Mithra

    There are videos up from the LA Times of the cast interviewing each other at Rickey’s. I just watched Lee and Siobhan and it’s a good thing they will not be on the same bus ;) Jesus, she’s annoying and managed to turn all the questions to him back around to her. He gets up and bolts before it’s over at the first chance he gets :D

    http://www.rickey.org/?p=43608

  • laila

    This is terrible. What a sad season! At least Season 5 had Daughtry and Elliot Yamin. And I suppose Kellie Pickler who has done really well for herself.

    • Kathy

      And Bucky! Although I realize he’s an acquired taste. But no, I would not pay $20 to see this crap.

      • laila

        Oh I liked Bucky too! I only know the one country song he had that did well, but he was great.

        Season 5 gets trashed so much but there were actually some talented people on that year.

  • cb

    Pay $20? No fing way. Them pay me $20? Still NFW. We’ll talk when they offer to pay me $200.

  • Lucky

    I hope, for the sake of the poor people who paid to see this, that this was the first time they sang it. Cause it sounded like shit. I went to my son’s school singing performance and the 6 autistic boys in his class harmonized better than these jokers. What the hell is with the “swooping”. God awful.

    • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

      I went to my son’s school singing performance and the 6 autistic boys in his class harmonized better than these jokers.

      I think I love you.

  • Miz

    I keep telling myself it’s just an off the cuff performance and they are still rehearsing. BUT it starts out so absolutely terrible and disjointed that I don’t see how it can get better. And it doesn’t.

    Who the hell arranged this?

    I’ve always found the group songs (from videos … I’ve never gone to an AI tour) usually stink. I can’t think of one that was OMG !!!eleventy!!! good.

  • caspar

    It occurred to me later that I didn’t even notice the winner being in this vid. Plus I couldn’t hear him, although there were definitely some key problems going on in that mess.

    However, assuming I didn’t have to sit through losers 10-4, I might pay $20 to hear Casey and Crystal’s sets. Then I’d leave.

    • muzikizmi

      U R Me. If I could be picked up at my door and transported the 6o miles in a ‘limonene’, arrive just in time to hear Casey and Crystal, and then leave, I would pay $20 for that.

      • jukejoint

        Limonenes for everyone!

        At this point, I don’t even think I’m interested in hearing Crystal or Casey. I think I might be tempted to go see Casey do an evening of guitar and blues in a small club if he were near me. And I would pay $20 for that. But that’s about it.

        I can make a list of those who pass the “$20 for an intimate show near me where there are seats” test.
        1. Kris Allen
        2. Brooke White
        3. Michael Johns
        4. Casey James
        5. Bo Bice

        That’s about it, I guess. If a touring company of “Hair” came through here with Ace and Diana, I might pony up even $40 to see that. I might do that without Ace and Diana, too, though.

        • Nich

          I think a small blues club would be the perfect setting to see Casey James.

          • muzikizmi

            I think opening for Kris Allen would be the perfect way to see Casey James. :)

  • auntieaimee

    It’s terrible, but I hate that song even when Kelly Clarkson sings it. It sounds like something you’d hear if you were trapped on a merry go round from hell.

    • muzikizmi

      I mucho agree-o with that statement, auntieaimee. It is a horrendous song, that only Kelly Clarkson could make interesting. And…..season 9 ‘ain’t got no’ Kelly Clarksons. Maybe…..maybe….Crystal could make it interesting as a solo, but even she can’t save it while dragging 9 anchors.

      • ross

        I hate that song. I don’t even like Kelly Clarkson a whole lot. I realize that is considered akin to peeing on the flag.

        • Lauren

          That’s worse than peeing on the flag!

        • ross

          I’m not a good citizen. :(

          • nerdgirl

            Count me with you there. Somehow, Kelly does not warm my heart. She has a great voice, but her songs that I’ve heard are kind of bitchy, and I don’t like bitchy. Can I say bitchy, I am never sure with English language which words are “bad” and which are not. So I surprise people sometimes with my choice of words.

          • Katie112

            “…but her songs that I’ve heard are kind of bitchy, and I don’t like bitchy”
            That’s not surprising, considering a certain dog-faced person writes most of her music.

    • On The Edge

      Here’s a version I like…DJ Earworm mashed it up with Coldplay, turning it into a very cool ballad: http://djearworm.com/my-life-would-suck-without-you-in-my-place.htm

    • Mithra

      I don’t know why everyone is getting upset that they are ruining a KELLY CLARKSON song either. OMG, the blasphamy!!! She’s highly overrated and tarded over for someone who is just an Ashlee Simpson who can sing, IMO. I never watched the first few seasons, so I don’t have that TV bonding with her that others do I guess.

      • Lauren

        It is blasphemy! Kelly Clarkson is the awesomest person to ever come off of Idol! I love her voice and I love her personality!

      • CayKat

        Wasn’t really thinking that they did the song a disservice. I like Clarkeson but, don’t like this song very much.

        The bottom line is, the song choice is just awful and this group sounds like Grade A manure.

        • jukejoint

          What CayKat said. Or, more specifically:

          1) I think that is a fairly stupid song from the get-go, although I do like it better than some of the more turgid power ballads Kelly Clarkson usually does.

          2) I am not a big Kelly fan, although I think she’s okay. But I hate the Celines and Whitneys of the world, anyway, so the power belting thing is SO not me. I don’t think anyone implied that this song was horrific because it was an insult to Kelly. Just because it IS horrific.

          3) I think this performance is just SO bad on so many levels. The swoopiness, the grinning, the smugness, the cheese factor that isn’t even, like, reveling in the cheese and sending up the cheese self-parody thing, like “Don’t Stop the Music” was for the S7 folks. These people seem to think they sound, er, good. Which sort of boggles the mind.

          • Nich

            I think is what is bugging me the most. It feels like they are trying to throw in some “fun and weird” stuff in the song that will be obviously manufactured and rehearsed until they get it just right whereas in Season 7 the fun stuff that came out of “Please Don’t Stop The Music” happened on its own, you know what I mean? Someone (ok Michael Johns) did something silly one night and then the next night until it snowballed into the Idols themselves just having some wacky fun doing a silly group song. At one point they were even told by TPTB to knock it off. Here it feels like TPTB saying “hey, we’re fun, we’re cool, we’re the cool TPTB, look at the weird stuff we’re making this year’s group do!”

            I’ve clearly thought too much about this.

      • laila

        She has the best voice of anyone ever on this show. Personality-wise, she’s done a lot that can come across as whiny.

        • nerdgirl

          Agree on the voice -very powerful and very recognizable.

    • Mary

      I like Kelly Clarkson in a guilty pleasure kind of way. But she is awesome because I love how she hates 19/RCA and will probably be out of there when her 5-album contract is up.

      • Burgundy LaRue

        Thing is, where does she go from there? Kelly’s got the vocal chops but from a physical standpoint, she’s not a prize on the pop scene. Not saying she’s ugly or fat, but pop-girl cute she isn’t anymore.

  • nerdgirl

    Wow! These guys look like a bunch of homeless people and sound like a bunch of drunk homeless people. What a disaster!

  • deez

    This song will SUCK on tooouuuurrrr!!!!1111!!!!!!!

    This is gonna be like the WB singing frog cartoon where the guy has to put “Free Beer” on the marqee to get an audience.

    • muzikizmi

      Yeah, free beer and earplugs. That’s the ticket.

      • ross

        Maybe free hookers, too? Let’s make it a party, I say.

  • Paulie

    I only have the season 8 group song to compare this with and… yeah, unfortunately Don’t Stop Believin’ >>> My Life Would Suck Without You.

    On the bright side, maybe with the live band it will be more… fun.

    • Katie112

      I can’t believe I’m defending this group, but last year’s group song was just as horribly sung and in the wrong key during the rehearsals. The comments were just as negative, with the exception of Madam’s reception who can do no wrong in his herd’s eyes. Plus “Don’t Stop Believin’” as a song is terrible.

      • CayKat

        I actually enjoyed the group song last year. I never thought it was awful.

      • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

        Plus “Don’t Stop Believin’” as a song is terrible.

        Katie112 speaks the ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

    • magnacarta

      Season 7 was Please don’t stop the music… It was comparable to Don’t stop believin’. These songs can be sung by a group. The Kelly Clarkson song? I’m not sure :/

      • et

        Please Don’t Stop the Music was made much more enjoyable by Michael Johns yodeling part of his portion. Which I still imagine when I hear the song. Dammit, Michael Johns!

  • Mysterioso

    Gah, that was awful. This group of losers made the last season of Idol seem like a bad dream.

  • http://drlulzington.wordpress.com/ Doctor Lulzington

    Will they ever learn to harmonize? Probably not.

    $2 per performer? Too much. I’ll pay 12 cents.

    • http://drlulzington.wordpress.com/ Doctor Lulzington

      50 for Crystal.

  • Nich

    That was awful. Was that really the best group song and arrangement they could come up with?

  • CayKat

    No, no I most certainly will not fly to the US and spend $20 on this shit. I do not think I would even go if they paid me to. This must have been doubly painful for all the media that was there to cover this.

  • Lauren

    I love Kelly Clarkson. Someone has to make them pay!!!!!!!!!!

  • ophelia64

    That was just incredibly, INCREDIBLY, bad. Good God. What has happened to my show? Out of hundreds of thousands of people trying out THIS is what they ended up with. GAH

  • http://www.detailsinthefabric.tk/ Shosh

    OMG I SAW THIS ON BUDDYTV THIS MORNING.
    They were trying to get people excited.
    Funny, b/c it confuses the shit out of me.
    First of all, I couldn’t help but look at STW the whole time which obviously makes it worse, since she’s making this stupid conceited little face (as usual).
    Second of all, what is with those weird little mini-crescendos at the end of each phrase in the chorus??? It sounds horrible, like their voices are all cracking in harmony.
    Third of all, WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THE SAME SONGS AS GLEE?! I’m already sick of them FROM Glee! And don’t tell me b/c it’s FOX, b/c they can keep this shit apart without trying, they’re such different beasts.

    Why. Why did this show have to go to such shit. I loved it before. And now I can’t.

    • et

      Second of all, what is with those weird little mini-crescendos at the end of each phrase in the chorus???

      Gah, it wasn’t just me! That was making me NUTS, I wanted to yell at them to just fricking quit it.

      • jukejoint

        That’s what I called “swoopy.” NO. LIKE.

        • et

          It was awful. It was… I don’t know, it took all the FUN out of that song and turned it into some crapfest that made my head hurt. I hope it is better on tour. That makes me reconsider buying cheap ass tickets to go take a peek. Uck.

          • Nich

            I really hope they redo the arrangement. Please let one of them be smart enough to know it sucks. They turned a fun happy pop song into some weird choir thing. I don’t see any fun David Cook & Michael Johns-type antics during this song. It’s like TPTB are purposely sabotaging them

    • On The Edge

      It’s totally on purpose…to transition you to Glee-ness. TV Guide this week has “The Power List,” the 25 most influential people in TV. Ryan Murphy’s the first one listed and the article says, and I quote:

      The creator of Nip/Tuck…has gifted Fox with a group of hot young musical kids to take the place of the network’s increasingly uncool Idols.

      Someone at VFTW asked if they would eventually do a reality show like “The Real Glee.” Funny, they already did that show, it’s called “American Idol.”

      • ross

        The thing about Glee is that it’s a temporary phenomenon. Glee is not going to be around in five years. Other than the cast members being too old (some are already too old), it’s one of those fad TV shows that either self-destruct, or people get sick of all of a sudden.

  • J

    Well that was painful.

  • maturin

    It’s like this show died and was buried and dissolved into goo and they are being resurrected into the deeply shamed, disassociating zombie singers who are singing while at the same time being dead.

    Seriously, not only are they not successfully singing together, it’s like they all are hoping to live in different states from one another and never see each other, or any one in the–theoretically–audience ever again. And if they do, they will pretend this never, ever happened.

    • jukejoint

      Whatever happens on Idol tour stays on Idol tour.

  • caspar

    Wow. That needs work, good thing they’ve got another couple of weeks before the tour starts.

    The only voices I could hear were Soxy and STW’s. Oh, and of course Beloved Goatboy doesn’t even seem to be singing, he’s just having fun with his guitar.

    • Mithra

      I guess Timmeh’s in the I Can Dream House all weekend, so apparently he doesn’t need to rehearse much more?

  • jukejoint

    Smug Teen Witch needs to dial it back about 11 on the volume.

    In general, I don’t know who arranged it this way, but it sucks. Too swoopy. Too weird. Too “Grinning Americans.”*

    *This is a reference to the “Up with People” like group which appeared on “Cheers” and included Carla’s ex-husband’s new wife, who was blonde and stupid. The ex-husband was played by Dan Hedaya, who looks like Richard Nixon and Sonny Corinthos and was very amusing as Carla’s very hairy ex.

    • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

      JEAN KASAM! From Cheers and its spinoff, The Tortellis.

      Up with People had a big Coke commercial that premiered during a Super Bowl. My mother used to make fun of it.

      • jukejoint

        This was very “Grinning Americanish,” if you ask me. Like “Up with People,” only including words like “suck” and arrangements that “suck.”

      • Nich

        Someone else remembered the Tortellis existed? Yay! OMG I’m old.

        • jukejoint

          I’m not sure what to make of the fact that TI is so much younger than me yet has the same cultural references. Either TI (and probably Nich) are mature, or I’m immature. Probably the latter.

          • Nich

            We’ll go with immature! :-)

  • naiya

    Well, something sucks and it isn’t my life without them. That was a truly shitastic arrangement.

    • cc

      Do you mean shIIIItttaaaAAAAhhhhstiiiic arrangement? ;)

      • naiya

        Yeah. WTF was that?