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It’s Walmart time for Lee DeWyze

2010 June 4
tags: ,
by TopIdol

As a post-American Idol rite of passage, Lee DeWyze must perform for Walmart’s shareholders at their annual meeting about holding shares and closing down local businesses that have been around for decades in their respective small towns. No, I’ve never been to a Walmart shareholders meeting but I assume this is what goes on before some American Idol contestant sings a few songs. This year, they’ll probably talk about one of those groundbreaking new trends in business operation, but more about that in a minute…

So, Crystal Bowersox, how did you get so lucky as to get out of this lame gig? David Archuleta and Adam Lambert before you were forced to hustle for dollars in front of Walmart’s board members, so I find it difficult to believe they didn’t want you to take the stage. (Ed. Note — I stand corrected. I think both finalists customarily perform at the FORD shareholders’ event. Gotta pay for those “free” automobiles somehow, right?)

You can watch this shit live from Walmart’s website. Before then, you can watch Walmart managers in say, China — wearing “traditional” Chinese attire — talk about global sustainability index. Sustainability is my new favorite word-that-must-die. When you think about it, sustainability is a somewhat vague concept, but you throw it out there these days and people get all excited and then assume you are forward thinking and all about the good of the planet and humanity. No. It’s just a lame ass buzz word.

Actually, the festivities are now starting. Jamie Foxx is kicking it off. Jamie Foxx might do anything for money. Wait. Mary J. Blige? What are you doing here? So American Idol and Walmart are definitely doing each other multiple nights a week. Who is the top and who is the bottom?

So Crystal Bowersox, I commend you. You got out of this shit. Nicely done.

If you want to read more about Lee DeWyze this morning, check out Rana Meyer’s Q&A with Lee in this week’s OK! — It’s better than about 95% of the things you read in OK! and longer than most of their feature articles about the Kardashian family. OK! is basically Kardashian Weekly, so this might only appear the web. If I were Lee DeWyze and I wanted to get a lot of facetime in OK!, I would start banging a Kardashian. Hell, then he can also conquer Life & Style and In Touch.

Spread the word. Do it.
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from → American Idol

  • blacklisted

    Some homeless yahoo, picked up from the streets sang the National Anthem at the Lakers game. A couple of cows thought he sounded better than some no-name reality show winner from last year.

    • vtu

      Better than most of his AI performances — I only heard about a dozen off-key notes. Wonder if he’s getting vocal coaching? The whole askew tie and unbottoned collar look isn’t really working for him, though. Just makes him look like he thinks he should dress up, but he’s too lazy to actually put an effort into it.

  • cb

    Do not even get me started on Walmart and sustainability. They pushed cfls because of the money they could make yet they don’t take them back for proper recycling. And organic veggies from China? I’d rather eat gmo and chemical filled Doritos.

  • blacklisted

    This putz will be singing the National Anthem at the NBA Finals on Sunday.
    I.Can.Not.Wait. Trainwreck!

    • Mary

      Haha he has no gospel choir to back him up now.

      P.S. GO CELTICS!!!

  • CayKat

    watched his Idolatry interview today, in an effort to try and learn more about the guy. All that I have achieved is a deeper dislike of Sir Droopy.

    He is just an all around champion in suckage.

    • deez

      I haven’t watched one Idolatry interview at all this year, and don’t plan on making an exception for Droop. (I may watch Casey’s at some point)

      I think I watched all of them (or parts of all of them) last year, except for Gokey’s.

      • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

        Gokey’s is a CLASSIC.

        “You gotta admit, I had a great story.”

        • jukejoint

          He had the George Costanza story, the one Jerry tested against other stories (ways to pick up women) and found that The Dead Fiancee story played better than any other. The minute they showed us Gokey and his audition, I was whispering, “He’s got the George Costanza story” under my breath. I was like, he’ll make it to the end with that one.

          I think the Idol Power Behind the Throne thought so, too. They thought the back story alone was enough to propel him to the title.

        • collbjc55

          I got such a horrible case of second hand embarrassment watching Gokey’s Idolatry. I just wanted it to end the entire time it was airing. Can’t watch it again…one and done!

      • jukejoint

        Can we call him Droop Dogg? Or is that unfair to Snoop?

      • Mary

        My god, Gokey’s rambling was horrible. Icouldn’t make it past the first 3 minutes. Slezak definately took one for the team with that one!

      • Dickory Dock

        Slezak just tweeted there will be no Goat Boy Idolatry. Boo!

      • blacklisted

        I also couldn’t sit through Gokey’s but I did watch all of last years’ Idolatry’s interviews at least once. My favorite was Allison’s. I watched the Princessa’s interview a couple of times.

        I’m not interested in watching this year’s interviews, much less this fool’s bullshit.

    • Katie112

      He came across as a major douche in that interview. The shyness is just an act. He completely dismissed any “pitchy” comments given to him, and even went as far as saying that if the judges call you “pitchy”, America goes on to believe it. Uh……………… bitch, the judges are the ones who handed you the title.

      He even said that his Kiss From a Rose was awesome… ‘Nuff said. What’s hilarious is watching his tards trying to defend him.

      • wino

        my problem is not that he sucked on idol, its that he doesnt admit to having issues (the flat notes, the screeching, the warble in his throat). his recording are nice and his post show performances have been beautiful (especially the Regis and Kelly bit). so dude, grow a fking pair and man up to your mistakes. it only shows that you are willing to work at getting better. a serious WTF for that interivew. even Smug Teen Witch came across more likeable and self aware.

    • Dickory Dock

      Just watched the Idolatry Interview. Pfth.

      What I learned:

      1. The only reason people think Kiss From A Rose was pitchy was because the judges Jedi mind tricked us.

      2. Lee totally did not play the game ever or listen to the judges’ advice. Ever. He is totally his own man and not Simon’s lab created monster.

      3. Why did I not know he sang anal sunshine for his audition?

      4. Lee hates drama (except for Dramatic!Choir and Dramatic!Bagpipes I guess)

      5. Lee DePez is kind of a tool.

      • On The Edge

        4. What is his stand on Dramatic Chipmunk? ;)

      • muzikizmi

        Kiss From A Rose was a trainwreck. The judges were carrying his spongy butt by simply calling it pitchy. Either Wee DeSpise is tone deaf or his ego has swollen to sqeeze off his ear canals.

        • muzikizmi

          sqeeze? Que es esto? Squeeze. :-/

        • Blue Eyes

          I vote for his ego has swollen.

    • nerdgirl

      Just a proof that first impression is never wrong.

      • muzikizmi

        Yep. Wee DeSpise makes Gokey look lovably goofy by comparison. Well….almost.

        • Lucky

          I tried to watch Lee’s Idolatry only for the fact the I love Slezak and he can make almost anyone a good interview. Boy was I wrong, I only lasted to the middle of the second part where I just could not listen nor care less what can out of this guy’s mouth.

          • Lucky

            came out of his mouth.

  • magnacarta

    Actually, I think Brundtland’s definition of ‘sustainability’ is great. It’s vague as long as you don’t research it, but it’s actually been defined by countless organizations including the UN. In my opinion, it’s a concept that’s more interesting than ‘green’/'environmental’.

    What do you mean this is an American Idol thread?

    • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

      I hate how people throw it around as a general buzz word these days.

      I really should have become an environmentalist. Had I know this would have become so big when I started using greenmelinda for everything…damn, if only I cared about the earth more. Oh, and didn’t find that “green this” and “green that” shit completely obnoxious.

      • wino

        Sustainability, green, these are all such vague terms that are misused and overused by companies. And don’t get me started on the word “organic”. If one day I see organic Doritos, I will shoot myself, then the idiot who invited the term.

        Look, I work in RE management/development and we are renovating many of our properties to be LEED certified, I recycle at hm and office, I shop only at farmers market for fruit/veggies, I have efficient bulbs in the house etc. But I can recognize the smell of BS. “Green”, “sustainability” are just trendy words one uses to make themselves look good. Its no different then the fkers who want to save Darfur or free Tibet. Most of these people couldnt even locate Darfur or Tibet on a fking map. Why do they do it? Cuz its sounds cool.

        end of rant :)

        • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

          Bravo!

          I love the organic sections in vegetable / meats. Yeah, yeah. I know. Allegedly no pesticides and what not, but come on! It came from the earth or was/is a living thing. To me, that’s organic.

          Wino, I hate to tell you, but there might be Organic Doritos. Have you seen those Frito Lay Naturals? They have Cheetos Naturals. Have for awhile. Oh who am I kidding. I have so bought them a couple of times when I was either drunk or hungover.

          • wino

            fk. me. aint nothing organic about a food item that contains 19 chemicals i cant pronounce or spell.

            (sad to say, me talking shyt about this junk doesnt mean I dont shove it down my throat at 3am drunk. have you ever dipped cheetos in tostitos cheese dip? oh, good times)

          • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

            I gave up frozen foods and canned soup years ago. Try to keep it relatively unartificial.

            But yeah…will shove things down my throat drunk at 3am. Except I haven’t had a 7-11 taquito in years.

      • magnacarta

        oh, you been ‘sustainable’ as used by labels… I do agree they misuse the word a lot. i was talking about the theory behind the word. I am not a crazy environmentalist by any stretch of the imagination, but I agree with not fking up the planet for future generations, which is the general definition of sustainability.

  • caspar

    Wow. 4 whole comments so far, on the AI WINNER. Either of the last 2 years, it would be pages and pages already (with lots of tard fighting, of course).

  • JaneRochester

    Lee banging a Kardashian….bleccccchh. I need to go wash my brain now.

  • suew

    Hope his head doesn’t get too big.

    • deez

      *rimshot*

      (that requires no response, lol)

      • Dickory Dock

        But seriously, what is up with that giant noggin of his? Oy.

  • caspar

    Are you sure about Crystal being there, TI? I don’t get anything on YT when I search for either Archie or Lambert at Walmart. I listened to the livestream in 2008 to hear Cook, and don’t recall Archie being there. I do know that both Davids sang at the Ford shareholder meeting, which is a bit later in the summer, I think.

    • http://topidolblog.com TopIdol

      Hmmm…perhaps I was thinking of the Ford shareholders’ meeting?

      • deez

        I think it was Ford (Kris/Adam Crazy duet). The Walmart meeting gave us this:

        • Lauren

          How come I had never seen this before? That was hilarious.

        • CayKat

          “Blue steel” meets “sexy face” – a classic.

        • blacklisted

          Thankfully, Ben Stiller is as short as Kris.

  • On The Edge

    OK also seems to cover Kendra Wilkinson way more that is ever necessary. I guess that’s what the “K” stands for…Kendra and Kardashians?

    • Pandora

      I do not understand why ANY Kardashian-skank gets covered in any publication to be honest. What is interesting to anyone about any of them?

      • Mary

        Would you hate me if I said I love their reality (but really scripted) show? Its a guilty pleasure of mine.

        • wino

          Ha, a kid on my flight last week was watching the show. He was only 12, 13 at the most. Generally, people love shyt like the Kardashians, the Hills, etc. because its like a car wreck, you cant help but look. Plus, nothing like watching the Housewives of WhateverCity for 5 min before I feel great about myself.

  • Pandora

    I love this comment from the OK article:
    This guy has the blankest face of anybody I’ve ever seen. He actually looks like a chubby doughboy. No wonder America picked him as the winner despite his lack of vocal prowess – he looks just like the majority of them.