Post-Performance Hoedown: Who’s gonna win American Idol?

2010 May 26

tags: constantine maroulis, Crystal Bowersox, Lee DeWyze, simon cowell

by TopIdol

Popular opinion (and DialIdol) is predicting a Lee DeWyze upset over Crystal Bowersox, who without a doubt won every one of last night’s matchups — including her final performance of Patty Griffin’s Up on a Mountain, by far the best of the night.

But Crystal doesn’t have a penis. Nor is she commercial. If only Crystal Bowersox had a commercial penis, she would have totally won this thing! (Hey, don’t cry for Crystal, she’s gonna be just fine.)

While DialIdol does not factor in the millions of text votes cast by American Idol fans, one can perhaps safely assume Lee DeWyze had a lot more crazy-ass power texters in his corner. He’s a white schlub with a penis. That’s all you need to know.

Those hard-core American Idol fans over at Idol Forums think Lee should win because he might be an inspiration to slightly retarded kids everywhere.

I’m not trying to knock the guy, I’m just genuinely curious. I know he went to Forest View Alternative School, which is “a program to meet the learning needs of highly at-risk special education students”.

He seems a little slow at times. I went to the parade with my two nieces and noticed his mannerisms were eerily similar to my cousin’s who has down syndrome. He kind of slurs his words at times too.. like when he said, “I’m gonna twy ta win the thing alwiiight”. That would be very cool if a special ed student won American Idol. It would be very inspiration to a lot of kids!

I don’t really need to punctuate that with anything, do I? But now I just keep thinking of Valley of the Dolls. Remember when Jennifer North married Tony Polar and could never understand why his overbearing sister was always around? And then she discovers Tony had a congenital brain condition causing him to have seizures and be mildly retarded? Anyway… (ETA: It was deleted. Bastards.)

MTV’s Jim Cantiello in Los Angeles (Hanging out with Lyndsey Parker, too!) for the finale, but still managed to get his Idol in 60 Seconds in early. Crystal is drunk! YAY!

MTV Shows

Entertainment Weekly’s Adam B. Vary was also on the scene last night at the Nokia…

The courtyard outside the Nokia was also lousy with Idol alumni. Look, there’s season 8′s Scott MacIntyre doing some press! There’s his season mates Anoop Desai and Matt Giraud posing together for an iPhone photo! There’s season 6′s Chris Richardson chatting and hugging some fans! There’s season 4′s Constantine Maroulis politely waving off some fans! And there’s season 5′s Kevin Covais…talking to his friends who are all somehow smaller than he is! (For the record, the crowd appeared by far to be most excited about spotting Anoop, although that may have something to do with his jaunty bow tie with white and orange stripes.)

(Constantine Maroulis was there? They really did invite everyone back for Simon’s big sendoff. Guess its a good way to fill those empty seats, though. Did you hear? American Idol didn’t even score 20 million viewers last night.)

Entertainment Weekly’s King of all things Idol, Michael Slezak, gives the night to Crystal Bowersox, but because he knows how these things work, doesn’t that that means she has it in the bag.

The larger question that’s looming over the Idoloonie nation, however, is whether Crystal’s triumph in the Tuesday-night performance finale will be enough to win the season 9 war. As I said in the latest episode of Idolatry (embedded at the end of this recap), it doesn’t matter that much whether it’s Crystal or Lee getting that confetti shower at the Nokia on Wednesday. Because unlike some of their Idol predecessors, these two cats seem to have developed the kind of fan bases that will buy their post-Idol debuts based on the quality of the music, not on the basis of a ”winner” or ”runner-up” title.

MJ has compiled a list of rumors — many of which are now confirmed — for tonight’s American Idol (and Simon Cowell) Finale Show. I do love me some Hall & Oates. But does Lee DeWyze really fit the whole Philadelphia Soul vibe? Crystal Bowersox will be Getting By With a Little Help from Her Friends and Joe Cocker. Solo performers confirmed for tonight’s show:

Kris Allen (Performing his latest single, The Truth)
Christina Aguilera (You’re not Lady Gaga. Get over it.)
Enrique Iglesias (He totally peaked with Escape. I hope Idol doesn’t make him cover his mole.)
Carrie Underwood (Ugh. Not again.)

Gawker’s Richard Lawson made me love him more. Why oh why aren’t he and I watching American Idol together?

OK, see, now I think it’s gonna be Phil. I think he’s too beloved to lose. People have seen into his soul patch and they like what they saw — a soft squishy thing, a hint of shag carpeting, some barely used dumbbells sitting in a mildewed corner, mysterious socks lying under the couch. They have seen into Phil’s basement boy’s room essence and, compared to Crystal’s — which is spikier, harder to traverse — it looks a little like heaven. Like the kind of thing they want to be. Like, well, a beautiful day.

Burgundy LaRue

Man, they are having a field day over this mess at MJ’s. Sounds like she’s about to snap. To which I say–ABOUT TIME! That fanwarring has gone on for too long, and relates to all Idols.

The only reason I would cast shade on Adam’s absence would be because of that tweet where he said Idol had other singers lined up. Somehow, Adam or his handlers thought he would be brought back to perform at the finale. Something was said and then something was unsaid.

If I were to guess, I’d say that someone vaguely promised Adam a spot on the finale to perform If I Had You in exchange for being mentor during Elvis Week. But with a lot of folks hating the idea of Adam being the first Idol-related mentor, Ken Warwick’s spiel on Adam’s career struggles, and the fallout of Adam maybe being the first runner-up performing at the finale, someone changed their minds. Adam gets angsty and writes that tweet. Then Popeater gets a hold of some bad info–and we know the rest.

Adam is indeed busy with his tour plans and maybe he does need vocal rest. But I’m guessing that once he saw he was being relugated to the white-wearing cult members of runners-up past, he balked. Because really, how hard would it have been from him to stand there and let everyone else sing? We wouldn’t have noticed. Me thinks that someone is being pouty. But maybe I’m wrong-???
- et
  
  Yeah, it is *nuts* over there today. Maybe some of the bad Glamberts like tiger92 will get banned. FINALLY.
  
  I think he was probably being a little bratty because he thought he was sitting in the audience, not performing. But I do believe that subsequently he ended up on vocal rest. I don’t know Adam, he hasn’t called me and told me he was being bratty, so it is conjecture. He just strikes me as having a little diva fit now and then.
  - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
    
    The timing does seem to be rather perfect, no? A lot of singers throw out vocal rest just as models do exhaustion.
    - Destry
      
      It didn’t really seem that perfect though. Sounded like they fell a day behind for tour rehearsals and had to do double duty yesterday to meet some sort of deadline, (shipping some equipment shit back east last night or something?)
      
      Plus, they had to cancel some radio and promo interviews he was gonna do Tuesday and Wednesday (God knows he needed those dammit)
      
      But why weren’t Daughtry, J Hud, Kat, or Gokey there?
      - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
        
        I think Gokey is on tour with Sugarland. Ironically, they played the Comcast Center the night before the Kiss concert, I believe.
  - summersnow
    
    I’m going to go with that he’s having a diva fit. Just a few days ago, he was still twittering about wanting so much to perform on the finale and suddenly (and so coincidentally), he needs some vocal rest? I agree that Glambert just refuses to be degraded to those white back-up non-winners with the Idol winners taking centre-stage. I mean how could an international superstar swallow his pride like this?
    - muzikizmi
      
      I with summersnow. He made it public that he very, very, vuer much wanted to appear on the finale. IMO, he is having a diva fit, because they wouldn’t give him a better time slot for his new single, than the one Kris got. BTW, the ratings always get higher toward, the end of the finale, so they put Kris on when 10 million fewer people were watching.
      - Lauren
        
        Where did you get that from? (I am not accusing, just confused as to how you drew those conclusions.) Did Adam ever complain about his time slot or something? I don’t tweet anymore so I wouldn’t know…
      - muzikizmi
        
        Geesh, who is the mental deficient that typed that post with my screen name on it? LOL. Obviously I should not attempt typing, after a hellacious day at work.
      - muzikizmi
        
        Lauren, I am just going by Adams tweets. He let it be known that he wanted to be on the finale. Then he tweeted in what ‘sounded’ to me to be a bit of a huff, that he wouldn’t be appearing. He said he guessed they had booked enough big acts. or something close to that. I am really tired, so that is as eloquent as I can manage at the moment.
      - Destry
        
        Fair enough.
        
        (For me) what happened was:
        
        BSC fans went literally insane on twitter last week, certain that Adam was performing on the finale. They wouldn’t shut up about it, “Adam said he’d like to perform on the finale if anyone asked him, which means he will right? Right? Of course he will cuz what’s the finale without its messiah?” (Proceed into convulsions/fits of glittery hysteria)
        
        Adam tweeted this to settle those rumors:
        
        “Unfortunately, not performing on Idol finale. Guess they have plenty of artists booked. Catch me on Ellen tomorrow and Leno on Friday.”
        
        Interpretation #1: “Unfortunately” (for you BSC fans who will commit suicide) “not performing on Idol finale. Guess they have plenty of artists booked (so don’t you dare go into your conspiracy theories, there’s no drama, just not enough slot time) “Catch me on Ellen…” (There’ s no need to slit your wrists and pour glitter into them. There’s other performances to see… not the end of the world)
        
        Interpretation #2: “Unfortunately” (Yeah that’s right! I’m royally pissed and want everyone to know it!) “not performing on Idol finale. Guess they have plenty of artists booked (What ARTISTS! I’m the only artists that matters for chrissake!) “Catch me on Ellen…” (But I don’t care, cuz I don’t need you Idol! I got Ellen and Leno without you… so take that bitches!)
      - Lauren
        
        IMO, he is having a diva fit, because they wouldn’t give him a better time slot for his new single, than the one Kris got.
        
        But what does Adam wanting to be on the show have to do with getting a better time slot than Kris. What is more likely to have happened is that they told him he would be performing then went JK you get to sing a white suit with 100 other people! That could have caused to get pissed and not go at all. IMO Adam wouldn’t care that Kris had gotten a better time slot. They don’t compete, only the fans do.
    - http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy
      
      Adam was not invited to perform. He chose to rehearse rather than show up just to kiss Simon Cowell’s crusty ass. If anyone else did that he or she would be revered by the folks here that hate idol bureaucracy. However, it was Adam. Need I say more?
  - et
    
    Oh, well, doesn’t this just put the HATERZ in their places? From an aptly named poster Planet Fierce:
    
    Here’s a thought. There were 9 seasons of Idol so far and clearly, when you look at how many peeps were in the top 10 for each season, there were alot of people missing at the finale. Most of those people are not getting ready to go on a national tour in just a matter of days so one would think they would be in a position to attend, but where were they? Where was Cook, Daughtry, Clay Aiken, Blake, Jennifer Hudson, Kat McPhee, and on and on…..why are some people only focused on why Adam wasn’t there?I will tell you, because he is so freaking confident, hot,gorgeous,talented and just a flat out superstar and there are some people who just can’t stand it, for whatever the reason, jealousy, hate, denial. But you know what is amazing to me and makes me so happy? There just aren’t enough of you to matter or make a difference…..get out of the way cause you bore me…he has a huge international following now……the world has discovered ADAM and we are all part of his Glamily now. Get on board and have the time of your life, or just sit and stew in your negativity….. life is just too damn short and I don’t have time for you!!!!! Be part of the celebration or get the hell out of the way!!!!
    
    Allrighty, then. Get the hell out of the way, sane people! The hive is stirring!
    - Rach
      
      Dang. I spy a BSC.
      
      why are some people only focused on why Adam wasn’t there?I will tell you, because he is so freaking confident, hot,gorgeous,talented and just a flat out superstar and there are some people who just can’t stand it, for whatever the reason, jealousy, hate, denial.
      
      They forgot to mention that Adam is the Messiah and president. In fact we are all lucky to live in the same continent as Adam and breathe the same substance he is breathing.
      - Destry
        
        You’ll find those exact comments actually if you dig deep enough.
        
        (Actually you probably don’t have to dig at all)
      - et
        
        Grand Poohbert Idol!
      - Destry
        
        LOL!!!!! Now your claws look like you’re worshipping me. You really do have the best gravatar et
      - et
        
        All hail Grand Poohbert Idol! Raise your claws! Huzzah!
      - nerdgirl
        
        I am not breathing the same substance, I am 100% sure. And he should stop breathing whatever it is – it makes him too cranky. His fans are hilarious, but tiresome. I am thinking of including “Do you like Adam Lambert?” in the job interview questionnaire. “Yes” is automatic disqualification. Prevention of workplace violence
      - Lauren
        
        You would deny me a job?
    - rockpaperscissors
      
      No kidding LOL
      It’s batshit crazy centeral at MJ’s today.
      - jukejoint
        
        Poor rockpaperscissors. You tried to persevere and be reasonable and got crapped on right and left. I feel I should offer to tie a ribbon around your rock, brush eraser shavings off your paper and sharpen your scissors so you will feel better.
        
        Or play you the episode from “Arrested Development” called “The One Where They Build a House.” That will perk you right up.
      - et
        
        LOL, rockpaperscissors, it was too much for me to bear. They made me angry, and then I fled before I got fricking high blood pressure. Not worth it. But you gave a valiant effort, there’s just no stopping the hive, the only hope is… SuperBrains.
      - rockpaperscissors
        
        LOL Juke and et.
        I could care less what they have to say about me – I saw an opportunity after the comment about me (unmoderated thread) and went with it. LOL.
        I actually find it quite entertaining to be honest. All the regular suspects are there but mostly staying within the guidelines as usual.
        We Scottish are known to be stubborn
      - et
        
        LOL, my Irish/German bloodlines don’t help my stubborn streak…
      - Destry
        
        I think you scared some of them off, made some of them hemorrhage, and made the rest think you were a sadistic twelve and a half year old who will forever torment their blogosphere’s souls. (Applauds)
    - http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy
      
      She was making a perfectly valid point then her meds wore off.
- sj
  
  His tweets sound just like his OTT glambert fans. How strange.
  - et
    
    I really wish he would just chill out, he sounds as defensive as they do sometimes. I mean, yeah, that article would’ve pissed me off but just step away from Twitter for a sec and *breathe*, lol.
    - Destry
      
      ’tis true, defensiveness was never his strong suit. Though I secretly liked that he kinda bitchslapped that bullshit reporter (But woe is me, I’m obligated as a glambert to secretly like whatever he does)
      
      Just curious, whena journalists flat out lies in an article like that, do they do it because the benefit of multiple hits outweigh the costs of lost credibility? Guess if it’s a gossip blog, credibility doesn’t matter anyway…
      - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
        
        Gossip blogs don’t apply to the same rules. Just look at US, OK, Life & Style, et al. It’s almost creative the way they invent stories based upon nothing. But I do think this story is one that will never be confirmed nor denied publicly. Because even if it is true, no one in Lambert’s camp will admit it. No mgmt of any star would admit it.
      - Destry
        
        The story about Adam getting kicked off the finale due to suspicion of him planning on AMA type peformance? Didn’t they already publically deny that though?
      - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
        
        I think that was definitely bullshit. That part of it. Definitely calling bullshit. He wouldn’t risk an AMA-type performance on network TV any time soon.
      - Lauren
        
        I am pretty sure it was denied. I never know anything anymore though, so don’t hold me accountable if I’m wrong.
      - Burgundy LaRue
        
        I think they did deny the whole “Adam was going to be naughty” angle. FWIW, I don’t think Adam would have pulled anything like that on Idol. He’s not stupid. That would be biting off the hand that feeds him. But I do think he was going to be given a performance slot and when that didn’t materialize, he opted not to attend the finale at all. Which is fine–no law say he has to be there. But don’t get defensive when people take your absence, put it alongside a snippy tweet you wrote, and then draw conclusions.
  - saskin
    
    sj :
    
    His tweets sound just like his OTT glambert fans. How strange.
    
    IKR??? Weird.
    - http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy
      
      I like when he tweets stuff like that. It cracks me up. I tend to get a little hot-headed myself so I appreciate his frankness.
      - blacklisted
        
        The ONLY part I don’t like is when he apologizes. One thing I learned from being a bitch is, never say you’re sorry.
  - rockpaperscissors
    
    Destry,
    LOL, it was fun while it lasted. I don’t have the time or the energy to keep it up though – I’m just not that invested/obsessed.
    But they will carry on their strange behaviors and single handedly defend their BSC ways and their Rawk Gawd to their very last breath.
    I was never really a regular poster at MJ’s – guess I made up for it today.
    - et
      
      I don’t know how you can stand it over there. I peeked in for a second and ran screaming before my eyeballs exploded. What a bunch of self-congratulating, smug crap. “This is an Adam thread so I can do what I want! Neener neener!” Bleccch.
      - Kate123
        
        I think I feel the worst for Kradam fans…they have to deal with both of their Idols being bashed all the freaking time…that thread must be unbearable for them.
      - Lauren
        
        Hence I am not there. xD
      - blacklisted
        
        It’s freaking ridiculous. I just want MJ to post, “Adam is the Anti-Christ and Kris is Mephistopheles. Happy now? Well shut yer piehole, and just move on!”
niftywench

jeebus it’s been an age since i’ve been here to comment but had to share two things as well as thank you TI for another awesome season of Idol Crap Goodness.

1. I am happy Lee won for this reason: at the beginning of the season someone started an office pool where you picked one of the top 24 out of a hat and put in ten bucks..and i had gotten Lee – who i didn’t even remember at that point. so THANKS voters for the moolah for my new ipod or something

2. HALL AND OATES NIGHT!!! I HAVE BEEN GUNNING FOR THIS FOR YEARS. Having them on last night was kick ass. Though Oates needs to grow back that ‘stache! at keast we’ll always have this:
http://www.jstache.com/
http://www.detailsinthefabric.tk/ Shosh

And do you KNOW how many offers I got for the finale this year??? FOUR. FOUR!!!
I COULD HAVE GONE WERE I NOT ACROSS THE FRAKKING WORLD!
AND JIM CANTIELLO WAS THERE.
AND DAVID ARCHULETA.
AND KRIS ALLEN.
AND LA PRINCESA.
GRRR.
Though. I WAS able to see Queen last year.
BUT STILLL. =(
http://www.detailsinthefabric.tk/ Shosh

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG BRB DYING OF LAUGHTER.
Paulie

Some random comments — testing this post/reposting some of what I intended to write, as it seems I am having trouble replying to some of the discussions here (unless ZOMG I’m banned?)

1. Cale’s new look makes him look naughtier which is yum. Andrew was also sporting as less-coiffed ‘do too. Overall, The Truth performance was great. As a Kristard that’s the highlight of the finale for me. And the Idol reunion of course.

2. I missed Cook and Adam too. RE: Adam, Pop Eater has a controversial report earlier about his absence. Hm. Mound of salt needed.

3. Best duet was Crystal/Alanis and Casey/Bret.

4. Love Carrie’s song.
kimberly

There was no way that Season 9 could even attempt to compete with the epic of last year. It was Adam & Kris that made that finale so epic. I mean they were having the time of their lives. They radiated joy. What a crapfest of a finale! Janet Jackson — awesome! Close your eyes and you’d think it was Michael singing, which is kinda creepy. Love, love Janet Jackson! Alanis — awesome as well. Her voice is incredible, which sort of showed up Crystal, I’m afraid. No to the edited version. lol When my son was a baby, I would put on the tape and dance with him to it. I’d sing at the top of my lungs. Gotta love an angry Alanis! I’m lucky my kids are sane. lol They do love their music, though.

Kris Allen, other than Ryan’s voice in the beginning, killed it. Really, really good vocally. Background vocal bugged me a little (Cale), but other than that it was nearly perfect vocally. The band was really tight as well. A clean, polished performance. I love seeing all the Idols on stage. Had to smile when Kris came out doing his part. My daughter hated Kelly’s hair, but the girl can sing. That was a nice moment. A little cheese is good sometimes. Paula- loved her at first, but then it got really weird. I think Kara wanted to push Paula off of Simon’s lap. Jealous much. Carrie’s got such a tight band and background singers. Again very polished. Carrie can be nasally at times. She is one Idol that really became a true star with looks, fashion, performance, et al. Kelly is so good, but just seems not into the whole keeping up appearances. Fantasia, Rueben, Taylor — not much to say there. Oh, my, I forgot Jordin. Again, great singer, but …

Why, oh, why does Idol always have on these older artists? I like to remember these people in their prime. Not a fan of Chicago, Bee Gees, Hall & Oates. Joe Cocker rules, but not on Idol. Still not feeling Lee at all. My daughter is asking to go to the Idol tour show. I don’t know if I could sit through the performances. Last year was hard enough. That’s all I got. I figured it was going to be the Simon show. I think I’m going to re-watch some of it now.
- blacklisted
  
  How could you insult Cale’s background vocal?! It’s clear the man is experiencing some kind of psychological breakdown. I mean, just look at his new haircut! If he were a woman we’d all assume that the hair change was a sign of a recent break up. Ay, dios.
  
  Oh and ITA about the performers being let out from the nearby geriatric facility. At least they got a day pass and could reminisce about their time in the spotlight.
  - Destry
    
    My fav part of last year’s finale was when that british dude came out to hand the final results to Ryan, and he stood right in front of Kris, and both Adam and he were like uh… wtf?
    - http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy
      
      Then they did that little shuffle to the right while remaining in an embrace…
      - Lauren
        
        Good memories
Destry

Hey, how come Kris had to hold some stupid trophy last year, and why didn’t he come out to give it to Lee this year? Why didn’t Kris sing Beautiful Day instead of Lee?
- cc
  
  LOL. It is not just a “stupid trophy”. It is THE TROPHY. It’s the main reason why Ms. Kolsh started the “crusade” to reveal the conspiracy behind Krus Allon’s win. She wants to see Adam and The Trophy together forever and ever!!1!
- carmine2008
  
  All very valid and interesting questions if I do say so myself!!!
- jukejoint
  
  Hmmm… What happened to the trophy? They only started it last year. Did they already abandon the idea? Or maybe Lee only gets his trophy once he goes to Disney World and rides next to Minnie in the parade or whatever.
  
  Damn. I really didn’t care who won, because I just wasn’t that invested this season, and I’ve been thinking how nice it is not to be invested and how much more entertaining the outrageously cheesy finale if if you don’t care who wins, but then I just had this mental image of Crystal taking her baby to Disney World, all expenses paid, and I got this twinge of what might’ve been and now I’m sad that she doesn’t get to have all that for George Carlin Motorcycle Dad and Swee’Pea.
  
  But maybe this way she can get some sleep and keep the diabetes under control. With the ONE AND ONLY IDOL’S schedule, she might’ve keeled over before Christmas.
  - blacklisted
    
    Didn’t Kris say he left that trophy back at Nokia and never picked it up?
- kimberly
  
  The trophy was pretty lame. I think Lee lucked out there. They didn’t even make Lee do the whole Huff thing, though David A. and Adam were put in that position. They’ve treated Lee differently this entire season, as if he was emotionally fragile. Good luck, Lee. It only gets worse.
  - jukejoint
    
    Speaking of which, where was George Huff tonight?
- Burgundy LaRue
  
  I wondered about that, since Idol made a big deal of getting the first seven Idol champs together at Disney World to hand out those ugly things at a ceremony/parade. I’m guessing Lee gets his trophy at his Disney parade in a few days.
A Cook Fan

Access Hollywood story on Cook and Lambert’s absence:

Every winner of “American Idol” appeared on the show’s stage on Wednesday night to help the show bid adieu to departing judge Simon Cowell – except for one, Season 7 winner David Cook.

Access Hollywood has learned that David’s absence, however, was nothing dramatic.

David Cook had a charity event in Kansas City, his rep told Access Hollywood of the former “Idol” champ, who is known for his support of charities – in particular those related to cancer, a disease that stripped him of his brother.

Another popular “Idol” alumnus who was also conspicuously missing from the finale was Adam Lambert.

Adam’s rep said that the Season 8 runner-up did not make it to the show as he was put on vocal rest.
- Mary
  
  Wait I thought he wasn’t scheduled to perform.
  - Destry
    
    I think the article is referring to why neither of them were onstage during the performance with all the idol alums.
    
    I missed both of them, as well as Daugthry and J Hud
- Paulie
  
  Pop Eater has a more, um, “controversial?” take as to why Adam didn’t perform. *shrugs* Grain of salt.
- jukejoint
  
  He couldn’t have stood out there in a white jacket with the other two hundred runners-up because he was on vocal rest? He could’ve kept his mouth shut the whole time and just stood there and nobody would’ve noticed.
  
  That whole vocal rest thing sounds extremely fishy to me. Maybe he was planning to come and sit in the audience but it annoyed him to not be up on stage, so he pulled the vocal rest card as a good excuse. Or maybe the fact that RCA’s Cook and Daughtry (are they the only two still with RCA besides Adam?) didn’t come meant he didn’t either. Or the fact that Cook, Daughtry and J-Hud, the big stars, didn’t come, meant he didn’t either.
  
  Who knows? Maybe he really is a diva. Or maybe he’s hugely depressed that Simon is leaving, and he’s sitting home pounding Ben & Jerry’s and unable to leave the house till his Man Who Got Away Blues subside.
  - Paulie
    
    Pop Eater has a, um, “controversial” piece as to why he didn’t show up. Needs to be taken with mounds of salt, though.
    - erinnthered
      
      Just say it, Paulie. Or at least link it.
      - Paulie
        
        Whoops I just saw my repetitive posts here. Sorry ’bout that. Apparently there IS/WAS some lag from when I posted and when all of them appeared.
        
        RE: the article, here’s the link:
        http://www.popeater.com/2010/05/26/adam-lambert-american-idol-finale-canceled/
        
        Slezak clarified things a bit after contacting someone from Adam’s mgt:
        http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/05/27/adam-lambert-american-idol-finale-rumor/
        
        Also, it seems Adam tweeted his response about it a couple of hours ago.
      - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
        
        They were in moderation for whatever reason, your comments. Sometimes that happens.
  - Destry
    
    Maybe he’s just a dude on vocal rest?
    - jukejoint
      
      But why would vocal rest prevent him from standing on stage in a white suit, or sitting in the audience?
      - Destry
        
        Apparently, while on vocal rest you can’t talk either. It’s annoying cuz a radio station (Seattle?) who was supposed to interview him tomorrow tweeted that they had to cancel cuz his voice was strained. I guess they’re rearranging a lot of other press interviews he was supposed to be doing too.
        
        (Shrugs) I don’t know, or he could just be a bitchy diva, which will probably be the general consensus on this blog (figure I’d just play the devil’s advocate in case there wasn’t one)
      - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
        
        I’ve ALWAYS wanted to call in sick to work with the excuse I was suffering from exhaustion. Only coked up models & starlets ever suffer from EXHAUSTION. I think I should use it to call in sick to work, no?
      - ross
        
        No, it doesn’t add up. He originally tweeted he wasn’t going to be there because they had enough acts already, or something. If he was on vocal rest, he would have said that.
      - Destry
        
        You’re right, he tweeted that he wasn’t performing at the finale on May 18th I think. But I think that was answering a bunch of fans asking if he was singing “If I Had You” on the finale, because rumors were kinda going all crazy that he was, and everyone was getting excited.
        
        As for the finale AI alums performance, I think he may have been planning to do that but his reps said he was on vocal rest. The whole “he strained” his voice thing started yesterday actually when he was supposed to do some radio interviews but canceled…
        
        But I don’t know… I could be wrong (don’t hurt me)
        This is just a glambert’s opinion, but I’ll stop bugging everyone else from speculating… (runs and hides)
    - Destry
      
      Although, don’t get me wrong, jukejoint, I actually prefer your Ben and Jerry’s image more.
  - blacklisted
    
    There is NO way Adam would be pounding away Ben & Jerry’s….unless it was…you know, I’m not EVEN going to go with the obvious joke.
    
    Seriously though Adam had already said he wasn’t going to be there and I didn’t recall him mentioning vocal rest. I always assumed that his people/RCA just felt it wouldn’t be beneficial for him for whatever reason.
    - Destry
      
      “There is NO way Adam would be pounding away Ben & Jerry’s….unless it was…you know, I’m not EVEN going to go with the obvious joke.”
      
      LOL!
      - http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy
        
        LOL!!!!!
  - summersnow
    
    Interestingly I recall that Adam was often the only one who did not come come out to sign autographs during AI tours for the similar weird reason of needing vocal rest. I mean you use your hand to sign autographs, not your throat right? There was quite a fuss made by some of his fans over twitter. I just get this diva vibe from him at times.
    - http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy
      
      He isn’t a diva, to my dismay.
      
      The man sings aggressively. I would assume hitting the notes he hits would cause some strain on his vocals. The fact that this has occurred on tour suggest that when he sings sets of music on consecutive days rest is required to prevent damage. You are reading way too much into this.
      - deez
        
        Yeah, I actually think an established pattern of this pointing back to the tour is probably enough to suggest that it’s a mountain out of a molehill. Just because some Glamberts @ MJs go apeshit at the drop of a hat really shouldn’t translate into Adam being a diva. It had to have been in his best interest to rest, or I’m sure he’d have shown up. He’s gotten a lot of support from the show, and he would’ve gotten red carpet attention and interviews where he could’ve plugged his single. IMO, he had nothing to gain by not showing…except keeping his voice in shape per doctor’s orders. It would’ve been a non-story had it not been for somebody wanting to start something for the hell of it.
A Cook Fan

Given the crapfest that was this finale (and whole season, for that matter), David Cook’s prior commitment to a charity is looking like a brilliant career move. All the Cooktards (and yes, I like the guy, but am not a tard) have taken to twitter to either angst about or explain his absence. He didn’t have to participate in that cheesy number and everyone is talking about him since he was the only absent winner. A win-win for him.
- lostbrigade
  
  I don’t know… I love Cook, he’s an awesome guy, and I wish he’d been there (though I don’t think it’s a huge deal that he wasn’t, and good for him for doing a charity event). Yeah, it was kind of a cheesy number but it was probably my favorite moment of the night. As someone who has watched this ridiculous show for years, I thought it was awesome to see all of the winners onstage together.
  - Nich
    
    Yeah I wish Cook had been there, Adam too, because it was nice to see all the old peeps back together again.
  - A Cook Fan
    
    Oh, I totally agree. It felt like something was missing without him there, but man, that show stunk tonight.
SmartPoptart

Not shocked at all that Lee won, but shocked AS HELL that American Idol had the taste to use a Sufjan Stevens song during that Chicago montage.
Kathy

Was anyone else expecting Paula to break out dancing during Nasty?
- Mithra
  
  Yes!
Acrobat

Looks like the Fraupocalypse is officially upon us.
cc

Requirements for next year for 10th season of American Idol:

1. a peanus
2. Can sing
3. Sob story

I guess I will look forward for Lee’s first National Anthem as American Idol.
- Pandora
  
  #2 is clearly optional based on this year’s winner.
- summersnow
  
  I recall Cook having nerves which affected his performance. For the first time, he looked like he was about to throw up. Now imagine our shy and sensitive albeit constantly out of tune Lee trying to sing the anthem. I’m seriously looking forward to the trainwreck of Lee attempting to sing the anthem.
vtu

Is it bad that the finale’s only been over for 30 min. and I’m already having trouble remembering Lee’s name? Seriously, I was going to comment and I actually had to think for a minute before I came up with his name.
deez

LOLOLOLOLOLOL Did you guys see the sign “Arkansas <3s Lee??????” …There you have it!!!! Champion texters FTW!
- Lauren
  
  Hahahaha! So that’s how he beat out the true talent of S9!
- Nich
  
  Now we got something for Volume II!
- LittleMissCynic
  
  Hahahahahahahahaha! That’s amazing. I can’t wait for more Arkansas Cheated!!!11!11111 debate.
Lauren

We all knew Lee was going to win. To be fair, he sounded pretty good with Chicago. Also, he told Crystal he loved her and gave her a pretty genuine hug, which is one of the things this season lacked most. So I am disappointed, but not as furious as I expected to be.
- deez
  
  Yeah me too. *sigh* Don’t care enough to follow the tour on Mjs this year. Eehhh…if fanwars wars start up, I may pay attention.
  - Blue Eyes
    
    Yup, the penis won.
    - Destry
      
      I’m oddly angry about it, despite already knowing he was going to win. Why do girls hate voting for girls so much? I mean, I love penis too, but not when the dude it’s attached to can’t sing.
      - Nich
        
        I mean, I love penis too, but not when the dude it’s attached to can’t sing.
        
        Ha! I like you! But I agree.
      - Lauren
        
        Hahahaha, who knows? I voted for Crystal despite my love of penis!
      - Blue Eyes
        
        Because the show has been taken over by crazy frauen and tweens. One more season for Idol and it will be cancelled.
  - Lauren
    
    xD Did you notice Ryan mention discounted tickets? Nobody cares enough to go to the tour this year.
    - Mithra
      
      He said that? Missed it. When?
      
      You only thought Lee sounded good with Chicago because they were more out of tune than he was. It was a fabulous trainwreck
      - Burgundy LaRue
        
        You can buy tix for $20. They’re balcony tix, but still, that’s bargain basement price. They must not be selling anything for them to go so low this early.
  - Nich
    
    I was half tempted to do the tour this year but I don’t want to hear Lee ruin U2 again. I’ll just check out vids on YT like I did last year.
wino

if someone of crystal’s caliber cannot win against a guy with mediocre talent who bombed at the finale, then its official…a girl can no longer win idol.

did kris perform first? or towards the start of the show? im in LA and need to catch a flight at 10, but might linger at home just to watch him live.
- Nich
  
  Yeah I’m disappointed that the girl who was so much better couldn’t beat a guy who can barely stay in tune. Girls cannot win this show anymore. Even in a “Girls Year”.
  - ross
    
    I think a girl could have won. Just not Crystal. I don’t think she really captivated people the way a winner needs to. I also don’t think she’s pop enough to appeal to the kids.
- anklitas
  
  Second performance of the night, I think. He was after Alice Cooper.
  - wino
    
    thanks! i’ll probably stick around to watch him….i need something to lift my mood.
- summersnow
  
  Yup, females can no longer win the show. Voting demographic has changed drastically, with all the old fraus/cougars comprising the majority. I believe it started from Season 7 when we have all the Cook and Archie cougars popping up at tours.
  - Burgundy LaRue
    
    It sort of started in Season 5 with Taylor Hicks and to a lesser degree, Chris Daughtry and Ace Young. A few latched on to Chris Richardson and Blake Lewis in Season 6. By the time the Davids came on in Season 7, cougar power was in full force.
    
    A woman will win the show again. But she’s going to have to be Wonder Woman in her abilities. Anything less won’t win.
blacklisted

WAIT a minute! Cale’s head is practically shaved?! What the fuck is this travesty?!! And yeah I just got home so I’m watching the only thing I care about, Cale looking fione while accompanying what’s his face.
- Nich
  
  Yeah he cut off all his hair!
  - blacklisted
    
    OMG!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO. My baby Cale….*sniff*
    - deez
      
      I didn’t even notice! I’ll have to watch again!
- Lauren
  
  That was actually one of the first things I noticed. I was wondering if BL would like it or not. Guess not
  - blacklisted
    
    Cale’s hair is going to be jacked up for the next two months. Of course I’m not going to like it! My god, I’m grieving over here.
    - Lauren
      
      Such a tragedy!
      - blacklisted
        
        Biggest tragedy of the night. *sigh*
    - Paulie
      
      I actually like the buzz cut. It makes him look naughtier.
      
      I guess Kris and the KAB got pampered. Even Andrew is sporting a less-coiffed ‘do.
      - blacklisted
        
        Let’s be for real Paulie. The only explanation for Cale’s buzz cutt was him losing a bet. If I learn that Kris had something to do with this, he’s dead to me!
      - auntieaimee
        
        I liked the buzz cut, too. I wanted to rub it for good luck.
    - summersnow
      
      Well I thought Cale (and Andrew) look sexier with their slick haircut.
  - Burgundy LaRue
    
    Me, too! I said to myself–”Blacklisted is so not going to be happy about that. She was hoping to grab a handful of it when she and Cale. . .*whistles*
    
    I’m assuming he gets a buzz cut for the summer–Arkansas heat and that jazz.
    - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
      
      While I NEVER advocate such tarding over Kris Allen or his bandmates on here (keep it on your message boards!) I will say that I totally dug his hair. Didn’t recognize him at first, but then again, I haven’t really studied all that is Cale very much.
Nich

I knew it. I’m disappointed but not “write a tell-all book uncovering a conspiracy against Crystal disappointed”. Just bummed.
- wino
  
  same here, very disappointed. i think the major pimpage the judges piled on lee during top 3 allowed him to carry over a lot of votes to the finale. but very proud that crystal, despite being a “plump” hippie chick, was able to get into the top 2.
  - deez
    
    I love all the people on message boards calling her “the little fat girl”. They did that to Allison as well. I don’t think they understand how small these people really are in person.
caspar

You’re right TI: They are all dead.
http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy

Crystal sooooooooooooo got screwed.
anklitas

Not surprised about the results. Thank God this season is over!
vtu

OK, am I the only one who finds it hilarious that they had Lee sing the line “what would you do if I sang out of tune”? Seriously? Yes, I would walk out.
- muzikizmi
  
  That was hilarious. He also missed an entire line. Joe Cocker sang a line and the silence that followed was supposed to be Lee. Joe sang another line, and Crystal got her line right.
- Ittybittybear
  
  I literally ROFLMAO!!! Well if I heard someone singing out of tune I would say “Must be Lee!” I’m watching the finale through my fingers. Ugh.
  - Ittybittybear
    
    Crap…I was so happy this time last year….
    - vtu
      
      Ditto
- Lauren
  
  My mom and I were cracking up at the fact that even Idol knows Lee sings out of tune.
- SmartPoptart
  
  I literally laughed out loud when this occurred.
- summersnow
  
  The answer to that will be “No worries, we will autotune you all the way!”
http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy

This is awful. I can’t believe this is the finale. The second- hand embarrassment is palpable. I had to mute my TV —which I am selling tomorrow to spare myself the temptation of ever watching this assembly of crap ever again. The “We Are The World-esque,” every-past-idol-but-Adam, serenade to Simon was the last straw.
- Lauren
  
  I liked it! It was so sweet! It brought tears to my eyes.
- jukejoint
  
  No David Cook, either. As a winner, he was the biggest question mark. Honestly, there were so many white-dressed former contestants up there, I have no idea who was there and who wasn’t. I saw Michael Johns, Archie, maybe Mikayla Gordon? Oh, and I definitely saw Ace Young and I think I saw Diana Degarmo. Not sure, though. So no Adam (no McPhee, no Daughtry, no J-Hud) wasn’t really that weird.
  - deez
    
    We also had a question answered(that I saw asked last year): Yes, Kris is taller than Archie (barely).
    - barado
      
      Who’s taller between Kris and Lee, though?
    - summersnow
      
      I always wanted them to take a pic together, especially since some people were saying they look similar (thought they are defintely NOT). That would be a awwwww moment.
      - summersnow
        
        “them” means Kris and Archie, not with that LeeWeed.
caspar

Ha Ha! I can’t believe Cook didn’t show for that big sendoff for Simon!! WTF?
- A Cook Fan
  
  According to Charley Belcher (a Tampa Fox reporter), David Cook had made a prior commitment to a charity event and decided to honor that commitment and pass on the show.
  - Ittybittybear
    
    Good for him….
caspar

I’m not an Xtina fan, but I thought she was pretty awesome, what a voice. However, that 1950′s swimsuit with the sparkle tights was fug.

Hall and Oates were great, love that song- they both look amazingly fine, especially compared to the Bee Gees and Michael McDonald.

Ay yi yi- Lee on that Chicago medley. Key of Lee, indeed.
- http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy
  
  She was good. The only good thing I saw all night.
Kathy

Bret!
Sandy

I set my DVR to record an extra half hour. Do you think that’s enough extra time? I’m on the West Coast and I don’t want to get spoiled so I will probably get off the internet soon but I wont know how much they go over.
- jukejoint
  
  I think they said it will run 27 minutes over. Better go for 35 just to be sure.
  - jukejoint
    
    Although my TV thinks it’s ending at 10:07 Eastern/9:07 Central.
  - Sandy
    
    I’ll set it for more time. I’ll be out when the show starts so I have to watch it on DVR. I would hate to have another one of those “And the winner is -” moments. I’ve got my fingers crossed for Crystal.
deez

Uh? What was that? First off, the sound (on my TV at least) was messed up and I heard people talking over the first part of Kris’s song. I had to turn up the vol all the way to hear (was it just me?) Was half of it missing? Then Ryan dismisses him with a “thanks, man”. Wow. I was pretty much joking with all the throwing under the bus crap, because it was kinda funny…but wow. Don’t they at least usually do a handshake with the former winner?

He looked really nice, though.
- anklitas
  
  Yeah, I thought our cable was messed up (I lived outside the US and we have a live feed here). But I thought he looked pretty, sounded pretty, and his band is pretty, too. Although for me, I didn’t think he was thrown under the bus after all, he was still introduced as the reigning American Idol instead. I just wished he could’ve performed at the end though.
  - ross
    
    In the Boston burbs our cable really was messed up — just Fox. It was black. Came on about 20 minutes into the show. I found a live feed on the ‘net (thanks to someone posting it on MJ’s blog) so I saw Kris. I’m not objective, of course, but I loved it.
    
    Watching Casey now. I think he should be in the Top 2 instead of Lee.
    At least performing with Bret Michaels will bring him a lot of press atttention tomorrow, right?
    - deez
      
      Casey was great I thought . I’ll buy a Casey album! Kris LOOKED great…still not sure about the performance, because of the sound issues. I guess I’ll try to get a look at a video tomorrow. (Still think he was screwed over with that song) I would’ve liked to have been a fly on the wall (or Kara’s forehead) to hear what she and Simon were talking about during his performance.
    - SmartPoptart
      
      Same place as you Ross, and I wondered if it was just my cable that was screwed up, but guess not! And there was a killer thunderstorm rolling through that kept making my power go on and off so I missed large chunks of the show, but it sounds like I didn’t miss much.
    - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
      
      Ha. I got lucky in the city for some reason Wait. I definitely would not call it luck.
- leastofall
  
  I don’t know if I’m objective enough to judge Kris’ performace but I liked it. Kris and the band looked amazing all cleaned up. They performed the Radio Edit Version. I’m so used to the original that this performance sounded a bit rushed….dunnu. I loved the smile he gave towards the end of the performance.
  
  .
  
  Uh? What was that? First off, the sound (on my TV at least) was messed up and I heard people talking over the first part of Kris’s song.
  
  Yup, Ryans mic was still on.
- jukejoint
  
  He did look really good. I liked the haircut.
wino

if carrie can bat off the cougars and win against bo, then maybe, just maybe crystal can come out on top too? yeah, yeah, country is more sellable than folk. and yes, carrie is more commercial than crystal. but i have faith that america will not grant a danny gokey spawn the title. there has to be limits to our madness…no?!
- On The Edge
  
  Too little too late, but I could have explained this…Season Four the audience for Idol was still pretty well balanced. The frauen hadn’t taken over yet and texting wasn’t NEAR as ubiquitous as it is now.
SmartPoptart

Oh god. Oh god. I just flipped on the TV Guide Channel because I was trying to find something to watch, and the “Idol Countdown” has already begun. And someone was standing in the background holding a “Those Cougar Grandmas Love Lee” sign. Or something like that. But “Cougar Grandmas” were definitely involved.
God help us all.
- et
  
  Uh oh, what if my mom is a super secret cougar grandma? She LOVES Lee, like to the point where she goes off on me if I say anything bad about him. Haha!
muzikizmi

Richard Lawson is my new crush. He said that Kris was more of a definitive sex bomb than ‘Paint can Willie’. Oh yeah, and just better, too.
Kate123

I’m totally a Richard Lawson tard.
erinnthered

Hall and Oates and Joe Cocker?! Dammit! I almost got away with not watching this show for most of a season.

On the Edge, I always love finding another smooth music fan. Did you know the final episode is up?
- On The Edge
  
  I posted that a while back, on the “Songs from the Cinema” week (I said some one HAD to do Loggins). I’m so sad it’s the last one…does it have to be? Hollywood Steve has jumped back and forth in the timeline before…I want to see how a drunken evening out with Joe Namath and Kenny Stabler led Steely Dan to write “Deacon Blue!”
TankieGirlie

ohgawd is ellen making another spawn?

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/videos/?autoplay=true&mediaKey=eeff7182-dbbb-4a66-afdc-6c31b6521ee8
- Lauren
  
  Well, I think this kid is cute. He actually is as young as he looks and he is very talented. He is a much more deserving tween heartthrob than the moppet of Beelzebub.
  - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
    
    Let’s keep on topic! Lauren, I’m not blaming you, I think this just might me the last comment I saw on the matter? Before it gets out of hand…
    
    I still haven’t seen that kid do Poker Face, btw.
- jukejoint
  
  It seems really strange to me that Ellen is launching her own record label. Will she scoop up Idol leftovers, too? Is she trying to become Simon Cowell, part deux, American boogaloo? I don’t think he has a farm for homeless animals or a pet food empire, though. Just wait till she launches Elle Divas and T-Ellentubbies.
  - FreeDavidCook
    
    I watched him on her show. Incredibly talented and what a voice! Sings rings around the Moppet of Beezlebub
  - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
    
    Maybe this is her way of atoning for her sins on Idol. Since she’s just so damn nice, she can’t let all of those kids go back into the wild unsigned.
sybiltrelawney

If only Crystal had a “commercial penis.” Yeah. Then she too could sing in the Key of Lee.
I said after Season 7 when David Cook won that I should stop watching because a finale could never be more satisfying. I was right. I should have stopped then. I watched last year, and although the finale was unsatisfying to me, I still had many moments of musical enjoyment due to Adam, Allison and Kris. This year, not so much musical enjoyment, but I still stuck it out because I like snark and I wanted to see if Crystal could pull it out. If Dial Idol is right, then she didn’t, and that may finally finally be enough to send me packing. Because its bad enough to see in my professional life and in politics the mediocre schlubby white guy who is inoffensive and tries really really hard triumph time and again over the more competent woman who isn’t pretty enough, nice enough, cooperative and obliging enough, whatever enough. In business, in politics, in law, in medicine, so often the woman just doesn’t have that oh so handy (no pun intended — yeah right) “commercial penis.” Does the ubiquitous need for a commercial penis also have to invade my reality show talent contest life too? I guess so. Whatever. Looking at the bright side, I’m going to get several hours of my life back every week come next January. Maybe I can use that extra time to grow a commercial penis of my very own.
- maturin
  
  This is all reminding me of confusing conversations in long ago women’s studies days about Lacan and the Other and women lacking invisible phalluses.
  
  And then going to see someone a lot like Crystal play in a bar wafting with pot and beer. Good times.
barado

I saw the Sanjaya Malakar post on VTFW’s home page and randomly watched the YouTube of his “You Really Got Me Going.” I know he had some really bad outings, but this one seemed more entertaining than anything I’ve seen from Lee. Nothing original, but Sanjaya sang in tune and engaged the audience and had fun. What does that say about this season?
Sandy

I voted for Crystal last night and only had 3 or 4 times I couldn’t get through. I remember getting a lot more busy signals for David Cook and Kris Allen. The Dial Idol raw numbers are much higher for Crystal so I’ve got my fingers crossed that she could still win but I’m not very hopeful.
- caspar
  
  I never got a busy signal for either one (just tested Lee’s, which was not busy either). I’ll be surprised if they get much over 50M votes. By contrast with S7, when I voted on 2 phones til my fingers bled* tardish* yadda yadda, and got through exactly 4 times.
  
  Just the fact that TPTB are making them use covers as first singles says to me that they just don’t care what happens to these 2.
rockpaperscissors

It appears that that thread was deleted on IDF
I actually LOL when I read it this morning and the replies were priceless.
Of course DCFreak was quick with a reply for her newest boy crush.
She was drunk last night and bawling and crying and shaking and shizzz.
She is one big ball of entertainment so she is and she swears next year she WILL not fall for another contestant.

In Idol world, I think Special Ed kid trumps unwed single Mother.

Inspirational Special Ed kid FTW!
- Kate123
  
  How can we adapt this to fit his name?
  
  Lee DeWetard? Lee DeUnwise?
  - jukejoint
    
    Lee O’Tard
  - auntieaimee
    
    Lee DeWeeb
Mary

Kris and Enrique are the only reason why I’m watching the finale tonight.
- Destry
  
  I’m semi-interested in watching Xtrina perform because the outcome will either be:
  
  A) she delivers a horrendous trainwreck that solidifies her downward spiral into the oblivion of irrelevance (a true travesty considering she’s one of the greatest female vocalists today)
  B) she manages to win me back over after that disaster of a video that brought out anger issues within me I never knew I had.
  C) neither, and I’ll just be wondering the whole time if Kris is backstage or in the audience
  - Mithra
    
    The tards were spreading rumours/speculating that Adam was going to duet with her. Then news hit that he’s on vocal rest, so she’s just going to do her single
    - jukejoint
      
      Is vocal rest their excuse for why he’s not singing tonight?
      
      And what does that mean for Tess, who was so worried about Krispy Krillen needing to rest his voice because the poor thing is so untrained and clueness, unlike Vocal Master Clambert?
      - et
        
        Haha, jukejoint, I had the same thought – she just was blathering on that it’s a sign of Kris sucking as a singer because his voice was tired… now Adam goes on vocal rest?!
      - et
        
        And that is not a diss to Adam – the notion that someone isn’t a good singer if they need to rest their voice now and then is nuts.
      - Mithra
        
        It could be his way of having a hissy fit and not going, but covering it up.
      - auntieaimee
        
        Tess must be having a bad day, between Adam’s need for vocal rest and Simon saying Fantasia’s Summertime was his favorite performance evarrr.
      - summersnow
        
        Tell me about it. That ever “concerned” Tess. I remember her bullshit crap on mj blog about how good singers should be able to perform in tip-top condition everyime they perform. Hmmm…next time when she brings up that crap again, we can always gently remind her about her Glambert.
  - http://8sourcandy.wordpress.com/ 8sourcandy
    
    Have you heard ‘WooHoo’ yet? It is an awesome song. I can’t imagine it getting radio play, do to it’s graphic nature, but the beat is sic!
- On The Edge
  
  I’m treating this like Lost, 24 and Law & Order this week…as a series finale. Sure it’ll be “back” next season, but it WON’T be “Idol.” This is Simon’s farewell tonight and I won’t say he was the star of the show, but he was the constant. Remember when Eric left “That 70′s Show,” and it was never really the same? This will be the same thing.
- et
  
  I am having a mild tard-tantrum that Cook isn’t there, lol. But Kelly/Fantasia are singing a duet and this makes me glad – and looking forward to seeing Kris
  - jukejoint
    
    I just saw Dane Cook on the red carpet. Looks like they made a mistake and brought the wrong D. Cook.
    
    Also saw Normund avec sweatband, with Megan Joy looking like a dandelion.
kimberly

Don’t want to be the bearer of bad tidings, but I think Enrique had his mole removed. I seem to retain useless bits of information. We had an alternative school as part of my high school. It was an all girl Catholic high school and they decided to try another way of teaching, more freedom, no uniforms, field trips — non-traditional teaching which wasn’t based on I.Q. School went Coed with an all boy’s Catholic high school my last year. Most girls lost several I.Q points when they got there. Amazing how girls get when encountering all those penises. LOL It makes them think that even Lee DeWyze is a babe.
- Nich
  
  I hate that I know this but yup the mole is gone and he seems less hotter without it.
naiya

I don’t really have anything to add except to reiterate how much of a Jimtard I am. Idol in 60 seconds FTW!
- rockpaperscissors
  
  Me too! I love Jim!
  I would love to share several pitchers of beer with Jim, Slezak and our very own TI (karaoke would be involved as well)
  - naiya
    
    Hmmmm….drunk Idol blogger karaoke sounds interesting. Do it!
- et
  
  I’m a bit of a Jimtard myself. Can’t help it, he’s awesome.
Rach

I don’t think Lee is retarded at all. If he was then he would’ve went to an alternative school when he was way younger, and not during his senior year. Although Lee has pulled some retarded moves like singing Lips of an Angel and Kiss from a Rose, attacking a guy during school (and after), living with your teacher (WTH?), not wearing a belt at appropriate times, not wearing his Shrek ears at the premier, and getting the Chicago flag (Chicago has a flag!?!) tattooed on his arm.
- http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
  
  Exactly. But you know…some people are complete idiots and just assume such things. Just LOOK at the title of the thread that came from.
- Rach
  
  Star Magzine has an article that says this…
  
  Lee was transferred to the nearby Forest View Alternative School, which focuses on “redirecting inappropriate and counter-productive student behavior,”
  
  Haha. “Inappropriate” behavior, that makes me think of the kinds of jokes 13 year old boys make. So obviously this alternative school isn’t for retards. I rest my case.
  - auntieaimee
    
    So he was a troublemaking little punk? Interesting.
  - On The Edge
    
    Yeah, in my state, “alternative schools” are a step below juvenille detention centers. For the kids that aren’t in jail YET.
    - Rach
      
      He must have anger management issues. Cause he acted like a douche at rehearsals.
      Hollywoodnews.com
      
      And Lee didn’t end with such a high note either, getting accidentally hit in the body with a violin bow by one of the musicians. He obviously got upset and marched off the stage before the fake judges could pretend to give their opinions.
      
      He kind of reminds me of a Blake Lewis type.
      - Burgundy LaRue
        
        Lee’s probably more of a danger of actually causing real harm. Lewis is just a d-bag full of air with nothing to back him up. Sadly, I can see Lee getting testy in a hurry and hurting himself or others.
      - sodagrape
        
        I hope Lee can keep his apparent anger management issues in check during the summer tour, or else I fear for the fraus who will no doubt get a bit grabby-hands.
      - Destry
        
        Oh, NOW he gets interesting
      - Destry
        
        It’ll make for some good summer tour youtube videos at least.
      - muzikizmi
        
        If Lee loses it, and slugs an unruly fan during the Idol tour, could said fan sue Simon Fuller for megabucks. Hmm…..maybe I need to rethink buying a tour ticket…….
      - Mithra
        
        Lee’s probably more of a danger of actually causing real harm. Lewis is just a d-bag full of air with nothing to back him
        
        Ha! Tell that to Sanjaya, his tour punching bag. Speaking of tour fights and high ranking Douchebag Tournament contestants, Constantcrap is tweeting pics:
        
        ConstantineM @davidarchie and I…sweet kid http://tweetphoto.com/24086746
        
        Seems David has forgiven him for that infamous interview at the Season 7 finale
      - Burgundy LaRue
        
        I forgot all about what Blake did to poor Sanjaya. Yeah, that was foul. That’s why that Fivel-looking dwarf won’t amount to a hill of beans and is now looking to eat any morsel Idol throws his way. No better for him.
      - summersnow
        
        It will be interesting to see him pissed off and giving the finger to all the old fraus that will be harassing him throughout the tours.
    - On The Edge
      
      I should say “step ABOVE” but you get what I meant.
  - summersnow
    
    It makes me puke that Simon Cowell tries to paint him as a “great guy” when in reality Lee was nothing but a problematic troublemaker since high school days.
    - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
      
      It makes me puke that Simon Cowell tries to paint him as a “great guy” when in reality Lee was nothing but a problematic troublemaker since high school days.
      
      Was that intentional? Because it made me laugh.
      
      BTW, Girl From Mars called Lee: Special Ed Hardy Gokey. I nearly pissed myself.
    - auntieaimee
      
      Yeah. If you notice, Lee was the only one who was getting the narrative (paint clerk! shy/nervous! great singer! nice guy! ) and people bought it, because people are sheep. Lee just seems more malleable and easier to market. I can’t shake the feeling that Simon worked to sabotage the show this season, hoping for a mass exodus over to X Factor. Over the past few days as they’ve showed old clips of Simon back in the early days of Idol, he was so engaged and funny. He’s a shadow of what he used to be. It will be interesting to see if he gets the fire back when his new show starts.
      - Burgundy LaRue
        
        Yep, if someone gets a narrative, they’re on the track to win. Lee is an easier push for Idol. They know how to make a quick dollar off him. Anyone that requires a bit of effort gets pushed to the side.
        
        I’ll be interested to see what Simon does on American X-Factor, too. I know that at least he bothers to dress pretty well on the British version. On Idol, he often looked like he was about to wash his car in ratty jeans. Simon stands to make tons of money from X-Factor, so I imagine he’ll be pretty invested and ready to go.
Burgundy LaRue

I’m trying to look at this from another point of view. From someone who watches Idol regularly, but doesn’t follow the blogs. Someone who may know about Dial Idol and Vote for the Worst, but hasn’t gotten involved with that side of Idol fandom so much. You’re just looking at it from a POV of who entertained you, who you understood, and who you would likely listen to on today’s radio.

For most people, I think that’s Lee.

Yeah, he goes off-key half the time. But that still puts him ahead of someone like Taylor Swift, who has never sung well in a live setting. The bottom line is that you don’t need to be a good singer to achieve pop success. That’s been the case since the 1950s. Pop music is littered with marginally talented singers. Lee can sing–he’s very hit and miss, but there’s some talent there. What he can’t do, sound engineers will fix. Get him a voice coach to smooth some of the edges and Lee is a perfectly acceptable vocalist.

And his musical choices skew much more current than Crystal. Case in point–coronation song choices. Lee goes with “Beautiful Day.” It’s been overdone, but it still gets a rise out of most people. And U2 is still viable on the radio scene. Crystal goes with “Up on a Mountain.” Cool song, but I don’t see Top 40 playing it. Hot AC might not touch it, either. There’s AAA, but that’s a tough road for Idols to travel.

Crystal can be commercially viable, but it’s a harder sell. And Idol doesn’t want to deal with anything that they deem difficult. Better to go with the Rob Thomas by way of Hinder guy than the Janis Joplin-lite chick who would have opened for Alanis Morrisette back in 1994.

In short, Lee can be put out there now and bring in some quick cash. Crystal’s a project. Idol doesn’t do projects. Lee’s problems are readily corrected. Idol sees that and I imagine John and Jane America does, too. So I’m sticking with my Lee wins theory.
- Nich
  
  ITA with this. I can see Lee winning because of this.
  - Burgundy LaRue
    
    For all the jokes about Lee being slow, he played a good game. He kept his song choices current. He came across as meek–most Idol fans love humility. He worked the ‘he’s hot in an ordinary kind of way’ angle. He hit his stride at the right time. He did a decent job on Top 3 night. And he got the judges to move almost completely over to his side about midway through the season.
    
    I think Crystal’s best chance is if Simon Fuller decides to buck the Dial Idol polls and clause Lee because he doesn’t want three white guys in a row winning, thus giving Crystal the title in a squeaker. But I think Fuller uses Lee’s win to jumpstart some major changes for Idol S10. So Lee gets what he wants and Idol gets a clean slate for 2011.
- suew
  
  Completely agree with you. Also, everyone loves a success story. Crystal entered the competition as an excellent singer, Lee came in rough around the edges and improved, while also listening to the judges advice and improving week to week. He also came across as an “every man” type of guy (Richard Lawson’s description fits perfectly), whereas Crystal seemed less acessible. Crystal also didn’t seem to really care what the judges thought, almost too cool for school.
FreeDavidCook

I am wondering about Lee because of the strangest stories that keep popping up about him in the tabloids. I know that the Idol machine at 19E wants him as the winner due to the whole frau fleecing and money making but the potential for ongoing scandal makes me giggle. It could be very entertaining.
- Rach
  
  I want a scandal. Can we bring back that Antonella girl or David Hernandez, for Pete’s sake? We all know Lee’s a thug and got kicked out of high school, but what if Crystal was like a drug addict and had to go to rehab. That would be a good scandal.
  - Destry
    
    I really want her to be heavy with Simon’s child. That would’ve been so scandalous if she had ended her “thank you” to Simon last night with a, “and I’m pregnant.”
    - Lauren
      
      That would be an amazing scandal! Then she could marry Simon and no longer be a single mom!
    - Burgundy LaRue
      
      Idol being the karaoke version of DNA results day on Maury Povich? I can get behind this idea! Crystal can have Simon’s baby with his wife-to-be calling Crystal a homewrecking Janis Joplin wannabe skank. Didi thinks she had twins for Ryan, but one of them is fathered by Kara DioGuardi–who we learn is a hermaphrodite! Siobhan doesn’t know who fathered her baby Screaminsha–Andrew or Lee. Her test is somehow inconclusive and LeeAndrew sue for joint custody on the grounds that Siobhan’s screeching will make the baby deaf. Everyone else tries to pin their babies on Casey. Big Mike and Little Aaron serve as sercuity guards and Randy “Dawgy” Jackson is the announcer. Yeah, Idol-make this happen!
      - Mithra
        
        Well, there has been a lot of talk about making Idol more reality TV like, and even moving it to NYC. I think Fuller’s Dream House and Idol tie in make this talk a little more than typical speculation.
      - tango
        
        Better yet, Lee discovers he’s pregnant with Simon’s twins. Let people vote which contestant gets to be the godfather.
      - http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
        
        No more fan fic.
        
        Plus, they’re all dead. They’ve always been dead. That’s how its gonna end.
Blue Eyes

If you can listen and hear, then Crystal is the clear winner. But, I also have a feeling she will not win. She doesn’t have a penis, she has dreads instead. So, there you go.
- et
  
  Yeah, my sister emailed me this morning and said Lee was killing Crystal on Dial Idol and WHY?! and my only answer was… she doesn’t have a penis?
- http://topidolblog.com TopIdol
  
  Her dreads are likely bigger than his penis.
  - et
    
    Hmm, now I have this horrible image of Lee with multiple stubby penises that are shorter than her multiple dreads. I think I better go bleach my brain.
    - On The Edge
      
      …with feathers and other doo-hickeys hanging off the ends.
      
      You’re welcome.
      - et
        
        Hahahaha, my picture is now complete. Octo-ween with feathers!
      - Mithra
        
        She has Medusa like dreds which scare people that a woman has dangerous phallic snakes on her head.
        
        Lee’s pants are so baggy as to hide the Lenis (which I would have never noticed but it seems to be a BIG issue on the tard boards)…
  - muzikizmi
    
    Oooops blockquote fail!
    
    Her dreads are likely bigger than his penis.
    
    Very likely, or else he wears really tight underwear.
- maturin
  
  I blame you all for planting deeply unsavory images of the this thing all down the thread.
  
  The Leenis.
  
  Ugh. No wonder my icon’s own thang is permanently limp. Hey, “et” has the same problem.
  - jukejoint
    
    Erectile dysfunction and yet you’re still smiling, little blue bandit TV set with lettuce hands. I appreciate that about you.
  - Rach
    
    I have 4 permanently limp dicks. I beat you all.
  - et
    
    I guess I don’t have a Leenis, though, because his has many tentacles (ew).
    
    Rach, and you look properly dismayed that you have the quartet of limpness. Look at that face! Horror! Oooh, but… brain on top of the head. I likey. (maturin, I’m still crushing on your lettuce hands, too)
    - maturin
      
      Ellen told Crystal that if she made a record, she would buy it, and if she made a salad, Ellen would eat it. My mind kept trying to make that vaguely sexual. But lettuce isn’t sexy. Even when it’s on the end of my little monster arms.
      - et
        
        Maybe it is the lettuce/bandit combo?
Nich

If only Crystal Bowersox had a commercial penis, she would have totally won this thing!
Sad but true! I think Lee is going to win. I voted as much as I could for Crystal while watching Justified (mmmm Timothy Olyphant). But I think this is going to be Lee’s tonight.

Carrie Underwood (Ugh. Not again.)

Seriously! She’s always there. Which on the one hand it’s nice that she didn’t forget where she got her start from but I kinda wish she was more like Kelly Clarkson who backed away from Idol for a nice long while. I’m a little surprised that didn’t make Carrie the first Idol alumni mentor.

I do love me some Hall & Oates. But does Lee DeWyze really fit the whole Philadelphia Soul vibe?

Nope! I have never looked at Lee once and thought, “Blue-eyed soul.”
- Pandora
  
  I have looked at Lee and thought “Blue eyes… I wonder who he sold his soul to?”
  - Nich
    
    LOL. I’ve been trying to figure out which H&O song Lee will mangle tonight. It’ll have to be one of their better ones. Hmm.
    - auntieaimee
      
      If the rumors are true about the relationship with his teacher, then how about Adult Education?
      - et
        
        Haha, Adult Education would be perfection
- On The Edge
  
  See, after “Yacht Rock” I can never, EVER look at Hall and Oates the same way again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLFrzkTHP18
  
  They were even my first ever concert…1982, I was 9, last-minute seats in the back row.

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American Idol + ANTM + Mad Men + Pop Culture Snark & Pseudo-substance

Post-Performance Hoedown: Who’s gonna win American Idol?

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