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Matt Giraud should have kept Quatto the Mole so he could solve all of Lindsay Lohan’s problems

2010 May 30
tags: ,
by TopIdol

Perpetual trainwreck, former child star and SCRAM bracelet model Lindsey Lohan digs former American Idol contestant Matt Giraud. During a “mini-Twitter Party” Giraud called for, Lohan got excited because she saw the word party. Or she is still buddy buddy with Matty G from her days with Samantha Ronson?

@ImMattGiraud what state are you in these days?

Quatto Host/Killer Matty G Tweets her back…

@lindsaylohan I’m in MI right now but just got back from San Fran, NY, and LA. Tiiiiiired..

If only Matt hadn’t gotten rid of Quatto the Mole. Quatto could have solved all of Lohan’s problems. Quatto the Mole is like Dr. Drew but better. Quatto the Mole would become custodian of Ms. Lohan and within 2 years, she would have a Robert Downey Jr.-like comeback and win an Oscar. All without having to give up the sweet nectar. Because when you think about it, why would you want to be a problem drinker? Then you would have to give up drinking. And that would suck. Don’t be a Lohan. Plus, licking Quatto the Mole still gets you shitfaced without tripping a SCRAM bracelet. Quatto the Mole is all powerful. Just remember that. Whenever you need to pray, pray to Quatto the Mole. He got burned off for your sins.

Spread the word. Do it.
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from → American Idol

  • blah124

    I miss Quatto :(

  • Mary

    If Quatto was still around he would probably bring about world peace, solve the global warming crisis, eliminate poverty and would cure all diseases :(

    • Verbally Dyslexic

      Quatto = 42

  • Kathy

    Is it horrible that I want the judge to make this little snot as miserable as possible?

  • Blue Eyes

    So, what is Quatto been doing lately? I’m assuming not much of anything?

    • deez

      Small shows. I’ve seen video from a few @ MJs. He and Kris should do something together. Yeah, I know…S8s long over. (they do sound good together though)

  • deez

    At first, I misread that. I thought Matt was asking Lohan what “state” she was in.

    • Kate123

      amazing omg.

  • w.dark

    Yes Melinda, there is a Quatto. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life the highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary the world would be if there were no Quatto. It would be as dreary as if there were no Melindas.

    Believe.

  • http://drlulzington.wordpress.com/ Doctor Lulzington

    Oh, Quatto, we hardly knew ye. :(