When will this masterpiece be published?
I know all of you have been going crazy. We have been waiting so long for independent investigator Kerry Kolsch’s groundbreaking book of what REALLY happened during Season 8 of American Idol to be released for public consumption. We really need to know about the vast pro-Kris Allen conspiracy stretching from the streets of small-town Arkansas, to the executive offices of Chik-Fil-A and the boardrooms of AT&T.
J. Randy Taraborrelli is nothing compared to Kerry Kolsch!
You see, Kerry Kolsch thinks Kris Allen’s American Idol victory was fixed, like a male cat and the 1918 World Series. She believes her book will set the record straight and the title of American Idol will be bestowed upon its rightful owner, Adam Lambert. Yes. Someone out there continues to waste their time obsessing over something which happened nearly one year ago and had zero effect on the greater society or plate tectonics.
(Because Lambert is totally suffering from coming in second, right? That’s why he has a recording contract with RCA, just performed on Leno…? Was I the only one who thought neither Kris Allen nor Adam Lambert cared who won the whole damn thing?)
Sadly, Adam Lambert: Second to None is still just a dream. Perhaps they are fixing the cover art? I’m not sure why Tom Cruise is on a book about Adam Lambert, and personally, I’m a bit insulted you could feature Adam Lambert looking like one of the biggest idiots in all of famous people land.)
On May 20, 2009 Ryan Seacrest announced that Kris Allen, an ordinary guy who could sing a little, beat the phenomenal vocalist and performer Adam Lambert. How could this happen? It made sense when the Arkansas Gazette and then the New York Times broke the story; Kris had help from corporate sponsor AT&T. Then, as quickly as the story erupted, the story fizzled with denials from AT&T, FOX and American Idol. All three claimed that the vote was fair, accurate and independently verified by Telescope Inc. Not one news outlet challenged the denial, even while many doubted the fairness of this victory.
Unencumbered by any corporate interests, independent investigator Kerry Kolsch took on the mystery that no other journalist would. She set out to find the truth. What she unraveled was a murky tale of corporate hubris and homophobia, with the flavor of backwoods politics. Kris Allen did not beat Adam Lambert alone. It took the whole state of Arkansas and the unfair voting system created by AT&T to hijack the victory from Lambert.
This explosive book, based on thousands of hours of research, proves once and for all that Adam Lambert is the legitimate winner of American Idol Season 8. The research follows events in Arkansas and trails through cyberspace that can quantify demographics state-by-state, month-by-month and city-by-city, and identify who the winner really was. Not only dose irrefutable data show that Kris could not have won, it refute the reasons that were used to justify Kris’ win. It was not America’s homophobia. Kris did not get Danny’s votes. Kris won because AT&T showed Kris’ Arkansas supporters how to game the system.
A singing contest became an Arkansas state endeavor involving; the Chamber of Commerce, politicians, churches, radio, television, newspapers, businesses, universities, banks, dancing cows and Toad Suck Queens. With the intensity of a hotly contested sporting event, the whole state took on Adam Lambert. They were whipped into frenzy by a clever PR team. Many believed it was a religious crusade and they could single handedly stamp out homosexuality.
The madness of the pro-Kris, Arkansas, mob rational was that an American Idol win would give the state cultural literacy. Imagine? Read the facts and you decide if Kris Allen really won, or if Adam Lambert is Second to None.
(Glamberts hate Chik-Fil-A because its a Christian values chicken joint, but they never seem to think about the fact its one of the few big-time fast food chains who are pro cow? Chik-Fil-A wants to save the sparkle herd! Not slaughter them.)
Some Glambert (most likely a Kerry Kolsch sockpuppet promoting her book) claims to have read this grand masterpiece!
I just read Kerry Kolsch’s book Adam Lambert, Second to None and she has the demographics for this website and breaks it down in numerous ways. It is not true that all Adam’s fans are all older. His 18 to 34 fan base is very strong. Kerry compared Kris to Adam and Adam leads in all age demographics. 40% of Adam’s fans here are male. Kris has the same percentage of male fans. Adam leads Kris in every age and location, except for some cities in Arkansas. Adam’s dominance existed before the final and has never decreased at any time since then. You do not even have to know what happened in Arkansas to realize that there was no way Kris could have beat Adam without cheating.
So color me stupid, but is Adam Lambert vs. Kris Allen a question on the 2010 Census? Just where would you obtain such accurate information about the demographics of people who might have watched an inconsequential reality TV singing contest?
And what the hell do you have against TOAD SUCK QUEENS? Oh I see. Kerry Kolsch, you lost the crown of Toad Suck Queen and you’ve been bitter ever since. Channel this energy into finishing your EXPLOSIVE BOOK. And please send me a copy when you finish.