SYTYCD Season 6: Top 20 are revealed (and I just now watched it)

Since June or July, I have regularly left the few readers I have with an unfulfilled promise — to write regular, on-time recaps about So You Think You Can Dance.

And I always fail. Face it, I suck at life. Or at least writing SYTYCD recaps. While the magic of Jeanine Mason and Philip was a beautiful thing, not to mention the hottest head ornament since Quatto–Ade’s Pick–and obviously the exquisite beauty and unrivaled emcee skills of my girlcrush, Cat Deeley, you would think I would be all over this crap.

Meh. I think I just keep expecting it to be Season 5. I think it was season 5? Or 4? I dunno. It was the first season I watched, and it just happened to have the most awesome Final Four EVER. While I will always adore Jeanine, Phillip and Ade (+Pick), the latter two did not make the final four…and I don’t care how much this show wants me to love some vapid blond Mormon clone of Kherington Payne (who was overrated in the first place), it’s not gonna happen. And no Final Four will ever touch the awesomeness of Joshua, Twitch, Katee and Courtney.

The things I loved about SYTYCD seem to be disappearing, replaced by things I hate, most of all the bullshit eliminations. Hello? Natalie, Katee’s friend? Yeah YOU. YOU WERE ROBBED. And Ryan Kasprzak. ROBBED. Instead, SYTYCD has been sticking this teenage blond plant (from Utah, of course!) named Mollie down my throat since LAST season. There was some krumper who bowed out during choreography in the early rounds this season who was flat out AWESOME. That was the most exciting thing I’ve seen thus far. But he’s out. And there are a bunch of contemporary dancers who bore me to tears. I can only watch someone roll around on the ground and leap with such deep emotion so many times. And please, SYTYCD–unless you can give me a Bollywood routine as technically perfect and all-out incredible as the one performed by Katee and Joshua, then stop doing Bollywood. Because no other dancers have been able to do the style any justice.

So I’m watching the Top 20 show because I think I have to before tonight’s episode, because I will once again try blogging consistently about this crap. The Top 20 show is rather anti-climactic since its about five days old. Mia Michaels is gone–sad, yes. But now I understand why I keep getting umpteen hits of people searching for Mia Michaels hair. She buzzed that shit…leading, of course, to unsubstantiated rumors of a cancer diagnosis. And I’ve already seen who makes it, so…And today, chosen one Billy Bell dropped out due to illness, replaced by Brandon Dumlao. Maybe Billy Bell got hired to do Billy Elliot, because I can’t look at the kid without wanting to call him Billy Elliot (or as Jim Cantiello astutely refers to him, Billy Belliot).

Likable young guy makes it…a bunch of people don’t make it…holy hell I want to kill this curly-haired brunette named Kathryn McCormick who has the most irritating voice and won’t stop crying. I hate her. I hate her dress. Actually, her entire outfit blows. Just because you’re wearing cowboy boots with tights doesn’t mean its on trend. Yikes. Even Mia’s like, bitch shut your whiny trap and don’t wear gray tights with red, white, blue and brown.

Whatevia. They let this girl through. And she makes more annoying, inhuman sounds before finally walking away in her uber-stupid outfit.

Her are the Top 20, courtesy of MJ and her very Big Blog.

Nathan Trasoras - 18 – Contemporary - Mia gives him a big spiel about being too young, but the fake out isn’t very convincing.  He’s thrilled to make it.
Kathryn McCormick – 19 – Contemporary - She never stops crying, mostly about her family.
Channing Cooke – 18 – Contemporary - My Boston homegurl makes it. Nigel tells her she needs to work on chemistry with her partner.
Ariana Debose – 18 – Contemporary - Blink and you’ll miss her. Cannon Fodder
Ellenore Scott – 19 – Jazz – They kinda blew by her too, but no way this brilliant dancer is fodder
Billy Bell – 19 – Contemporary – Will have to put off his Julliard education (scholarship, no less) for SYTYCD.
Russel Ferguson - 20 – Krump – He’s a very versatile krumper who swears he’s never been trained (Don’t believe it!) He’s the first ever krumper to make the Top 20.
Kevin Hunte - 23 – Hip Hop – Hip Hop dancer, and cannon fodder, I’m afraid.
Bianca Revels – 20 – Tap - Nigel lays the fake-out on thick on the oft-rejected Bianca. But she’s finally in!
Phillip Attmore – 25 – Tap – Another tapper. He was super defensive during Vegas. He makes it.
Peter Sabasino – 22 – Tap - Is there room for a 3rd tapper?  Of course there is!  Oh Nigel telling Al Stewart jokes. Yikes.
Victor Smalley – 21 – Contemporary - Blah blah blah…he’s in, despite the judges hating his hair.
Jacob Karr – 19 – Contemporary – That was fast! Blink, and you missed it.
Mollee Gray – 18 – Jazz – Perky dancer from Utah.  She hurt her foot in Vegas. They put her in the Top 20 despite her “childish” dancing.
Pauline Mata - 19 – Jazz - She injured her ankle in Vegas,  but still, she makes the cut.
Noelle Marsh – 18 – Contemporary - Was cut in Vegas Season 5. Is buds with Mollee Gray. Season 6 is her year.
Legacy Perez - 28 – B Boy - They fake him out, and he falls for it!  He’s in the Top 20
Paula VanOppen – She makes the Top 20…but…
Ryan DiLello – 28 – Ballroom - He’s hot. Ryan and his guns make the Top 20
Karen Hauer – 27 – Ballroom – She’s so much better than Ashleigh. What?
Ashleigh DiLello - 26 – Latin Ballroom - Wife of Ryan. Damn, she’s in! Because Paula VanOppen turned the Top 20 down for a movie role.

Brandon Dumlao — Yay! ASIAN DUDE!

I am going to root for north-of-Boston homegirl, Channing Cooke, and will have to see about the rest. Channing Cooke also has the most athletically-perfect body, she makes me want to go do wall squats. Maybe I will. I like Nathan. And as to be expected, I will rip Mollie Gray and Kathryn McCormick to shreds every time I watch this damn show. I will probably also root for the “old” people, because I, myself, am ancient by STYCD standards.

Cat Deeley is awesome. I love her. I hate Mollie Gray. I may decide to hate this Noelle Marsh person because of guilt by association. Imagine sharing a room with Mollie, Noelle and Kathryn McCormick. I would fling myself off the nearest balcony. They took these lunatics over Amber Jackson??

Ok. I’ll say something positive. You know who else I kind of love? Debbie Allen. The next time I cry, I want Debbie Allen to be there so I can curl up in her lap. And she can pat my head and say, ooooh, child, it’s all gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay, child, just wipe those tears away.

More random thoughts…I’m doing this quickly…

There is no way in hell Russell Ferguson never had any formal training, but I like the guy.

Tap dancers : SYTYCD :: Gay people : American Idol — Closeted-but-not-closeted-tapper Evan Kasprzak became a fan favorite last season, just as open-but-not-openly gay Adam Lambert drove thousands of menopausal women into insanity, forcing them to call anyone who does not like him homophobic. He comes in second. Idol drops Paula Abdul and picks up beloved gayelle Ellen DeGeneres. Evan’s popularity (you guys are still bastards for not taking his brilliant brother Evan this time around) forces SYTYCD into loading up on tap dancers. Tap is the new gay.

We’re halfway down but we haven’t brought out Mormon Mollie Moron to panel, which frankly is just more evidence as to this idiot’s plant/pimpage status.

If I ever meet John C. Reilly, I will cry and ask him WHY WHY WHY WHY THE FRAK DID YOU MAKE A STUPID VAMPIRE MOVIE? YOU’RE BETTER THAN THAT SHIT JOHN C. REILLY. WHY WHY WHY???

Where is Sonya Tayeh? I haven’t seen her in FOREVER. I love Sonya Tayeh!!

Oh noezzz, Mormon Mollie Moron time. Why are they letting her talk? And she’s dressed as poorly as Kathryn McCormick. And MMM’s little friend Noelle TOTALLY has Kelly Kapowski hair!

Do you people think its 1991? Did you buy a time machine just so you could go back and shop at Contempo fraking Casuals?

At least 1980s British Hair told her she danced like a 14-15-year-old. She is a stunted woman-child from Utah who feels entitled to a spot because she was a featured dancer in one of the High School Musical movies. I don’t know who I want eliminated first, her or Kathryn McCormick. What if people just keep Torture Tears around so she WON’T cry?

I might like Pauline Mata. Yes. I do.

Is it just me are do the majority of the contestants have ZERO personality? I miss you Jeanine and Phillip. And Ade. And ADE’S PICK.

I know I am always ragging on Utah. I shouldn’t be so judgmental. I know there are parts of Utah which are beautiful, even if they only sell 3% beer and have the lowest number of smokers per capita. I’ve never been there. I should shut up. And I know a few Mormons who are awesome, but come on! Why are they always doing reality television and why are the girls always blond? It’s like Children of the Corn shit, which is almost as freaky as the Joseph Smith stuff. All them have blond MILFs.

I own a Wii. Why don’t I use it more?

To all of you who think I hate pale females with blond hair, well then, explain my love for Cat Deeley? (And Megan Joy and now, Channing Cooke) Granted, she has a healthy glow. And has natural-looking brown low-lights.

After Ashleigh made it to the Top 20 with her husband, Ryan DiLello, everyone cheers. And MMM was DROOLING. Because she is a child. And she still drools.

I know. I am being rather childish right now.