SYTYCD Top 6: Will these people stop fawning over Kayla?

Down to six dancers, but still two hours long? Are you kidding me? And there are hardly any of them left up there and the stage. (If Powder wins this damn thing, I will cry.)

Cat Deeley is looking goddess-like, as per usual. She could also hurt you with her wrist cuff.

Cool. Lil C is back as guest judge, athough I totally want Debbie Allen at the judges’ table all the damn time…and yes, why the hell was Janette sent home? Of course, I suppose if I cared more, I would vote? Nigel thinks people are voting on the routines, rather than the dancers.

Sonya Tayeh’s Top 3 Guys’ Routine
True Romance (She Wants Revenge)

Who would have thought Evan would be the last honkey standing? I certainly did not, but that kid has a killer fanbase and he is pretty damn likable. Of course, the most likable individual to come out of this show is…

Ade’s Pick. Duh.

Come on, Sonya! Give it to the little honkey man!

(BTW, I use honkey on a daily basis as a term of endearment. I have since I was oh, maybe 8.)

What interesting costumes these young men are wearing? And once again, Sonya uses a sick song. Love Sonya Tayeh. LOVE HER. The routine is rather cool, in all actuality. And The Last Honkey is doing surprisingly well, as I was worried he may be overshadowed by Ade and Brandon who are pretty damn strong AND acrobatic, to boot.

Brandon slipped a bit while landing a backflip, but he recovered well and frankly, let’s see YOU try to land one of those suckers. Brandon’s mother is in the audience and she looks awesome. Not as awesome as Ade’s family members, but come on, they arrive with their own glitter-encrusted picks.

I have no idea but this scene made me overcome with joyful giggles.

So Lil C gives Evan a complement…sort of?

Evan, allow me to commend you for not being swallowed by the dominant excellence which is Ade and Brandon.

Christ, I know I said something to the same effect above, but it just sounds a bit sadder when I hear Lil C spit out the words domaint excellence.

I want to commend you for staying very visible throughout the whole routine.

Lil C says he did a great job, but let’s not play. Evan was always going to be visible during the whole shebang because he’s the only tiny ass honkey up on that stage. Crazy Mary is in heaven, thinks they were phenomenal. She yelled a bit, too, but she’s only halfway through with that drink so let’s give her a bit more time to raise a few bars on the Crazy Mary Meter.

Who else just LOVES watching Sonya Tayeh with the dancers or in the audience? She always exhibits such pride and unadulterated joy when watching the kiddies do her stuff up on stage. I just love it. I love Sonya.

YAY! YAY! YAY! Guess who are partners this week? And they totally love one another and can’t wait to dance together?

Jeanine and Ade
Samba — Louis van Amstel
LoveGame (Lady GaGa)

Louis van Beer has made a hot ‘n’ sexy samba which we all KNOW will be awesome. Hell, just check out this amazing shot from rehearsal featuring our BFF, Ade’s Pick!

All I can say right now is…PLEASE OH PLEASE CAN WE JUST HAVE THESE TWO WIN??? No offense to the other dancers (except Powder, of course) but Jeanine and Ade are MAGIC. And I totally forgot about this song and how it talked about wanting to take rides on disco sticks.

Anyway, that was all sorts of AWESOME. AWESOME. Crazy Mary must put them on the Hot Tamale Train….NOOOOOOOOOOOO Crazy Mary thinks it fell apart. Stop trying to throw these two under the train because you want Powder and Brandon to be the Top 2. Just stop it.

Bitch was harsh. Too harsh. Come on, Lil C, bring it back to right. Bring it back to right. NOOOOOOOO!!! He wanted an explosion of excellence but they faltered. Granted, I did think Ade looked too happy and smiley rather than smoldering, but that didn’t kill anything for me. I love Jeanine and Ade!!! Hell, they may even force me to vote a few times tonight.

Kayla Radomski
You Found Me (The Fray)

Why would I want to watch Kayla doing a solo to a Fray song? I think she has done the same solo routine every damn time she’s had to do a solo. Powder is also bopping around there like her shit don’t stink and everything she does is perfection. She’s a bit cocky now, which makes her a wee bit more irritating than before.

Melissa & Evan
Tyce Diorio — Broadway
Get Me to the Church on Time (Matt Dusk from My Fair Lady)

Melissa wants to wear heels, even though she’s almost as tall as Powder (of Child-You-Handled-Your-Big-Woman fame). It’s funny, because I really adore Evan, but sometimes when I look at him, I can’t help but think he’s the long-lost brother of James van der Beek.

(Speaking of routines, Broadway Tyce better have delivered a great one after that Katie Holmes shit last week.) Melissa did forgo the heels for this routine, which, frankly, makes a bit more sense for the piece, which is about a bride hurrying her groom to get ready so they can uh, duh? Get to the church on time.

It’s cute. It’s fluffy. It’s fun. And they’re spot on with their chraracters, complete with 1930s slapstick-esque facial expressions. Of course, Lil C thinks it could have been better and thought Evan had something missing. Or maybe both of them, even though the duo danced it oh-so-well. Uh..ok. I know we’re almost to the end so you gotta step up the critique but…

It seems Crazy Mary has bonded with Captain Morgan, as she’s getting a little loosened up and a little wacky with her rehearsed lines. She thinks it will not be Get Me to the Church on Time but Get Me to the FINALE on Time. Oh, huzzah huzzah huzzah, Crazy Mary, huzzah huzzah. Aren’t you cleaver?

Ade Obayomi
18th Floor Balcony (Blue October)

I really do not want to see Ade and Ade’s Pick go home before the finale. Love Ade. Love Ade’s Pick. Speaking of Ade’s Pick, these people in the audience did not pay their proper respects to Ade’s Pick on their homemade signs.

Kayla & Brandon
Stacey Tooksey — Contemporary
All I Want (Ahn Trio)

Is this shit fixed? Christ, Powder annoys me. I do sort of feel as if they are the SYTYCD Chosen Two. Ugh. And they’re doing contemporary, which means she can extend her legs a lot and feign being a competent and engaging dancer. She is also wearing some shitateous tie-dyed tank top with a silver glitter peace sign. Ugh. Powder.

In the routine, Powder is having an affiar with a married Brandon. This was told to the audience during rehearsals, however, it is clearly indicated because she is wearing some red nightie from Fredrick’s of Hollywood and he is wearing business attire. Harlots wear red, cheating husbands never wear business casual.

Think I love the song, but naturally, all Powder does is extend her long legs and not much else. It’s all Brandon. The lighting of the piece also makes her look more ghastly than usual. Sorry, but this piece is all Brandon. More than anything, Powder is a prop. A prop which has excellent extension and not a lot much else.

Naturally, the judges love the intensity. Lil C calls it beyond amazing. And I’m sure Crazy Mary is going to keep Powder on the Hot Tamale Train. He did call Powder a Beast, but it was more of a compliment because she has a tendency to outdance her partners. Yawn. I still think she is another kind of beast. And 1980s British Hair, its sometimes okay to hear you talk but now you keep talking about the Lifetime Movie-ish “abused” the female contestants have had to develop characters around this season.

Melissa Sandvig
I Put a Spell On You (Nina Simone)

Melissa gets total props for doing her solo to a kick ass song. Totally forgot how much I loved this song. Completely forgot. She did some ballet stuff. It was cool. But the song will always be cooler.

Jeanine & Ade
Tabitha & Napoleon (Hip Hop)
Move (If You Wanna) (MIMS)

I love Jeanine and Ade. I love Tabitha and Napoleon. Don’t even try to tell me this is gonna suck! I’m too invested in these two at this point and I’m not listening!!

And the choreography in the boxes? Kind of awesome. I thought this was a lot of fun, and I always loved when Jeanine did hip hop with Phillip. Lil C seems pleased. He talks about Ade’s earthy, dirty groove. Is Crazy Mary gonna be a bitch? She starts going on about the samba again, and how she forgot to tell Jeanine how great she was in it. Crazy Mary doesn’t think they’ll be getting their eviction notices after that little number. 1980s British Hair talks about how Crazy Mary was MEAN like his wife’s divorce attorney. Oh, that English Muffin made a funny! But he makes a nice comment about how they’re getting applause and credit for their performances, and not just because people really liked Tabitha & Napoleon’s choreography.

Brandon Bryant
Carmina Burana

Brandon is wearing Speedos. He is all over the stage in all sorts of dance fury. Speedo-ed dance fury. At the end, he reminds me of Arnold Schwarznegger in the beginning of The Terminator. Probably because he’s almost naked? In any case, the judges are about to bow down to his tight, nearly-nude ass.

1980s British Hair comments:

He’s just given us one of the best solos we’ve ever seen on the show.

Ah, Brandon, the annointed one. But I still like Brandon, always have. Ever since Vegas Week and he was broken up about the Awesome Ginger Dancer Girl Who Should Have Never Been Cut getting her walking papers and no chance to dance for her life.

Melissa & Evan
Louis van Amstel
As Long As I’m Singing (Brian Setzer Orchestra)

Is this a quick step or something? And I swear Melissa has tripped up a couple of steps in her skirt. Evan may just be outdancing her in several parts, althought they have an enjoyable chemistry and rapport with one another. And Evan, gotta give him credit for being a pretty strong little guy. He’s always handling his big women!

Lil C starts talking about Evan and his retractions or something, but that he danced big. Crazy Mary thinks Louis von Beer created an incredible routine for the second time tonight, but I think she’s just buttering him up in the hopes of getting free beer since his last name is van Amstel. But I have to agree with her about the fact the dance did fall short.

Jeanine Mason
Feedback (Janet Jackson)

So what is Jeanine’s style? I always forget, because she seems to successfully mix genres on several occasions, even on a simple solo. Jeanine better not get voted off.

Evan Kasprzak
Lady is a Tramp

Evan doing what he does best. Fun, old school swing-ish stuff. It’s impossible not to like this kid. Or his cool brother…who I assume is still in the audience in these later rounds?

Kayla & Brandon
Doriana Sanchez — Disco
Dance (Disco Heat) Sylvester

First we have to hear Powder talk. Ugh. The biggest word she knows is incredible. I’m hoping they frak it up doing a dreaded disco routine.

The Disco is soooo hard!

This girl is just not that bright. I know its mean of me to say, but…she’s just not all that bright. Anyway, they come abounding out onto the stage, all resplendant in white and shiny-shiny silver. I cannot tell if Powder is wearing tights.

It’s a fine routine and all, but all the girl does is spread her legs or extend them where and whenever. Oh, and they totally had a couple of missteps when they took turns spinning each other on the ground. Of course, Brandon did a back flip so all should be okay, but there were definitely a couple of missteps because it looks as if Powder had to play catch up in several places.

Lil C launches into some sort of crazy monologue which basically ends up with him claiming to have seen no darkness in that routine. I’m so sick of them fawning all over Powder. I’m sure she’s the designated winner, they need a girl this year, I guess. Okay, but I did learn those dips are called double death drops. And I’m sorry, but Powder lost a bit of balance when helping Brandon up on his. Of course, it does not deter Crazy Mary, who continues the over-the-top Powder love fest and then starts yelling at Brandon over admitting to having self-esteem issues. BRING MAMA ANOTHER COCKTAIL!!! Hell, what has 1980s British Hair been drinking because HE then goes overboard in his adoration of their little disco routine.

Hey, I’m totally down with Brandon. He’s a cool guy, but let’s lose Powder, please oh please oh please? She shows zero personality, and we all know that’s what everyone votes on, is personality, right? Of course…

Sonya Tayeh’s Top 3 Girls’ Routine
Kick It (Stereoheroes Remix) Nina Martine

It’s about superheroes. Because Sonya rules and wishes she could be a superhero. Whatevia. Sonya is my superhero! She also obviously has the same favorite Powerpuff Girl as myself (uh, Buttercup, of course!).

BEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT

YES! I love Jeanine even more. She accidently smacked Powder’s face. Even Melissa looks pleased, no?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I’m a bit mean. I don’t want the girl to be hurt, you know? And hell, she didn’t have a black eye or anything this evening. You just gotta admit, it was pretty funny.

It was a cool routine, but Powder was in the front too much and I don’t think Melissa got much of a solo, no? But I loved the tough girl superhero vibe. Of course, I love Sonya Tayeh so I knew I would totally love it.

Crazy Mary sucks. She points out how POWDER had a couple of moves which were tougher than the others so SHE STOOD OUT. Oh I am so done with this Powder love fest.

But you know what eases the pain of Powder blowing kisses into the camera at the end? Cat Deeley dancing around on stage with all the contestants. Because CAT DEELEY MAKES EVERYTHING ALRIGHT!!!